Our Complicated Lives
by Vixen1
Summary: REVIVAL! As long as she can remember, life has been a living nightmare. But when the James and the Mauraders come into contact with her, life begins anew. Will she believe in love afterall? (This fic was unjustly kicked, I'm putting it back up) COMPLETE!
1. Like Every Other Girl

Our Complicated Lives

**~~~**Hey everyone! While I am most certainly not new to writing fanfiction, this is my first HP fic, so please support me in this trial and error story! It's going to be a JP/LE romance, and I will be changing a few things around from the average fic, so be warned!~~~

**~~~**I have given this a PG-13 rating so that more people will read it, but it will most likely be a darker fic that deserves a higher rating. My own rating for this fic is **R. **~~~

Chapter One: Like Every Other Girl

*As the heavens above lit with blinding flashes of white jagged light and the surrounding sky rumbled in fury; large, pelting drops of icy water hit the dusty ground. The wind picked up and swirled the stagnant air around, blowing over small debris in the huge gusts. 

The downpour of water crashed into the sea by the cliffs, and the waves broke violently on the rocky shore as they washed up. The storm surge was higher than usual, and the foam sprayed high, mingling the salty seawater with the cold fresh water of the storm in midair. 

"Mother!" Was the scream that echoed so loudly that it cut through the air like a knife, even droning out the rumbling of the thunder. The parents of the child who had screamed sat bolt up right in their bed, too tired and sleepy to know what had awoken them.

"Who was that dear?" The husband asked his wife groggily.

"Sounded like Petunia." The wife answered. Just then, Petunia flung open her parents door.

"What is it Petunia sweetheart?" The father asked.

"There's a horrible storm going on outside!"

"Yes dear. Has the thunder frightened you?"

"Yes!" The girl whimpered.

"Poor baby! Come here and climb into bed with us." The mother cooed, trying to make her eccentric child calm down. Petunia smiled at this, and dove head first into her parent's warm bed. Just as she snuggled down deep and got comfortable, her mother spoke again.

"Where is your sister? Perhaps Lily is frightened of the thunder and lightening as well?" 

"No, I don't think so Mother."

"Oh? Why do you say that? Is she still sound asleep in her bed?"

"Lily?" Petunia snorted. "Lily's outside Mother. I doubt she's scared."

"Lily's what?" for the second time that night the two parents sat straight up in bed. 

"I'll get the lantern!" The father said, throwing on his robe and slippers.

"I'll find a flashlight!" The mother responded, following in suit. And as the two parents rushed out of the house, Petunia sat in their now cold bed, alone and frightened. Stupid Lilly. Why couldn't that freak be like every other girl and be scared of the storm? And now here she sat, all alone, while her parents looked for that delinquent. 

The storm rattled on as the two parents climbed the hills and cliffs in search of their youngest daughter. 

"Lily!" 

"Lily!" They cried out together. As they walked on, their light made out a dim shadow of a figure standing on the edge of the cliffs in a heavy dark blanket.

"Lily!" They cried in relief. The figure turned and stared at them for a moment.

"What are you doing all the way out here in this storm Lily Elizabeth!" Yelled her father.

"Just standing."

"Lily!" They sighed in exasperation. Then they took their unwilling daughter by the hands and steered her back inside the house. Once they entered the warm, dry safety of their home, the yelling began.

"Just what did you think you were doing out there miss?"

"Standing." Lilly answered blankly.

"Standing? Standing? In a storm like this? You could have been struck by lightening! Or swept away by the storm surge! Or the cliff below you could have given way and fallen!"

"It did." Lily interrupted quietly.

"What?" Her parents stopped. Petunia had come down the staircase just as the room became silent. She wanted to see her weird sister get punished, but the silence was not what she had expected.

"I said the cliff did give way." Lily repeated.

"Then why aren't you in the ocean being dragged away?" Petunia smart mouthed her sister.

"Because I wished I was back atop the cliff, and I was." 

"Nonsense! It's not possible! Are you saying that you're here because of magic? There's no such thing!" 

"Petunia, be quiet this instant!" Her mother clipped. "Lily's had enough excitement for one day. Go on up to bed, the both of you. Lily, we will discuss punishment in the morning." 

"I agree. Bed time for the two of you." There was no room for argument in their father's voice. As the two girls tucked themselves back into bed and turned out the light, Petunia spoke softly to her sister.

"There's no such thing as magic you freak. And even if there were, you wouldn't be able to do it- you're too weird. No, never mind. It's always the weirdoes that do creepy things like that anyway; you'd fit right in. Night- freak." And Petunia was out like a light. Lily lay in bed with her eyes open for a little while longer.

"I did fall, and I was saved. By what, I don't know. But whatever it was, I wish it hadn't bothered." Then she too closed her eyes and fell asleep.

)(

"Lily! Why can't you be like every other girl in our grade? You're such a creepy wacko!" Lily sighed inwardly. Petunia was at it again. Oh well, she would have to put up with her sister's mouth until they reached home. Then she could go to the attic and lock her out.

"Lily, are you even listening to me? I said you're weird! Has that thought even crossed your mind? Look at you, you can't even dress normal, let alone act human!" Lily took the time to look down at her clothes. She liked them the way they were.

Her black top was a little too small, but it still fit snuggly around her developing curves. Her short black skirt and fishnet stockings drew attention to her long thin legs, and her black combat boots were the most comfortable pair of shoes she owned. Yes, she liked her attire. She loved it all; down to the heavy black makeup she wore around her emerald green eyes and the nose ring in her right nostril. The only thing she left untouched was her long fire red hair. The black streaks had been enough, and leaving it down was tradition. 

In the years that followed Lily's brush with death on the cliffs, she had matured more than quickly. Her ability to learn had astounded everyone, parents and teachers alike, and she had skipped third grade. But with the maturity her entire attitude had changed as well. She understood why her sister thought of her the way she did- because it was true. 

So long had Petunia told her that she was a freak that Lily had begun to believe it as well. She no longer knew what was normal or abnormal, she just allowed her sister to teach her that no matter what she did, she would never be fully human, that she would only be a monstrous freak. And it was always fun to creep Petunia out anyway.

So now here they were on the first day of school walking home, Petunia going on and on about how odd she was, and Lily just walked on, taking it all in and accepting it. Not that Lily cared. Her sister had always been the same, and Lily wouldn't want her to change, it would be far too weird. Fortunately the walk wasn't long, and they soon reached their home on the sea cliffs.

"Lily! Petunia! How was your first day of school girls?" 

"Great Mother!" Petunia chattered on, while Lily simply sat quietly as always, glaring at her sister and allowing her to fill in the details and highlights of the day.

"Well, it sounds like you two have had a busy day. Before I forget Lily, a letter came for you. And it was the most unusual thing I'd ever seen too! An owl! And owl dropped the letter off on the breakfast table just after you two left for school. I put the letter on the kitchen table if you'd like to read it dear." Lily nodded, and sulked towards the letter that was placed on the table. As she opened it, her eyes widened.

"I'm a witch!" She gasped under her breath.

"We already knew that!" Petunia sneered. Lily hadn't been quiet enough apparently. "What's the letter say freak?"

"That I'm a witch!" Lily repeated rudely. 

"What's this Lily?" Her mother frowned and took the letter to read. Yes, her youngest daughter was a little eccentric, but a witch? No one had the right to call her that! But as Mrs. Evans gasped when she finished the letter. "My baby's a witch."

"Mother?" Petunia asked.

"I'm fine, just in a bit of shock is all. Well Lily dear. It seems you really are a witch."

"Mother? Am I going to go to the school then? Hogwarts?"" Lily asked.

"What do you want to do Lily?" Her mother asked. Lily froze. Being a witch was quite a talent. But did she really want to leave home? Leave her mother and father? She loved them dearly, even though she never truly expressed it. Petunia wouldn't be there… she would be all on her own. Sounded like fun. But…

Lily thought back, and for some strange reason she remembered her night on the cliffs. So magic had saved her after all. But when she thought of why she had been there on the cliffs in the first place, it frightened her. She had wanted to be out in the storm, to be as close to it as possible because she thought that perhaps it would kidnap her and take her away from all of the teasing and tormenting her sister and the other kids at school gave her. But now that she realized she was a freak just as they had always told her, she was thankful to the magic for saving her life. But sometimes the getup she wore was too much of a burden- Lily was tired of conforming to her 'freakish' nature. And if she got away from Petunia…

"I want to go." And her life change forever the moment she spoke those faithful words.

)(

"Oh isn't it wonderful? My little boy is finally going to Hogwarts! Oh James, you'll make us so proud!" 

"Son, you're a wizard today. Not just a boy whose comes from a wizarding family, but a true wizard." The boy before the two parents ran his hand through his wild and messy dark hair and peered out at the world from a pair of thin wire glasses.

"Yeah, sure Mum, Dad." The boy blushed, he wasn't accustomed to his mother and father fawning over him _this_ much. "Can I go out and meet Sirius and Remus now?" 

"Of course dear!" His mother squealed as she watched her son go out the door. "He'll be a powerful wizard Harold." The woman told her husband.

"And an even larger troublemaker." The father sighed. 

"But Hogwarts will suit him." 

"Winifred, Hogwarts will not only suit him, it will keep him safe. You know with Voldemort out there as bloodthirsty as he is at the moment, the school is the safest place to keep James."

"I know dear. Speaking of which, how was work?"

"I don't know." The man sighed and sat. "An auror never has a dull day, I'll give you that."

"But dear, you do a wonderful job."

"I hope so. For yours and James' sake, I hope so." 

But James didn't care much at the moment about Hogwarts- that was still a whole summer away for him. He was much more interested in arguing which Quidditch team was better with his two best friends.

"No way! Cannons are ten times better!" He yelled.

"I'm with him!" Remus added.

"I agree!" Sirius screamed.

"So why are we arguing?" James yelled at the top of his lungs.

"I don't know!" Sirius boomed. Then they all broke out into laughter. "Say James, this old bloom of your mother's any good?"

"Yeah, but I think the handle's weak, near ready to fall off I'd guess."

"Really? One way to test it!" And Sirius swung the broom around by the bristles, trying to shake the handle loose. Just as James had foretold, the handle flung off. Only one draw back, it hit James square in the head. Sirius and Remus watched as their friend collapsed before them.

"Oops?" Remus just laughed and tried to wake James.

"James? James? James, wake up, this isn't funny you dolt!" But James never stirred.

"Shoot. We are going to be in deep if we can't get this idiot to get up!" Sirius paced back and forth in front of James and Remus.

"Tell me about it. Come on James you fool, get up!" Remus shook James harder. James finally snapped his eyes open.

"James you old idiot! What gives you the right to take a nap without telling us?" Sirius slapped James on the back.

"Did you have to hit me so hard? Now I have a headache the size of England because of you two dolts. But I had the craziest dream while I was out of it. I saw this girl in a blanket standing out in the middle of a storm on a cliff."

"A girl? James, you're such a pervert!" Sirius gasped laughing.

"Sirius, shut up! It wasn't just some girl. The cliff below her gave way, and just as she was about to hit the water below, she was back atop the cliffs, a safe distance from the edge. Now what do you think about that?"

"She used magic then?" Remus asked.

"I didn't see a wand. In fact, she just closed her eyes, she didn't even scream. Very creepy if you ask me."

"No kidding. Well, I'm sure that your 'dream girl' will visit you again." Sirius grinned wolfishly, and James blushed. Then he knocked Sirius upside the head.

"Dolt. Come on then, let's go. I'm betting dinner's nearly ready."

"Food!" Sirius and Remus yelled together. And the three boys wandered off, not giving another thought to the dream, but instead thinking of their empty bellies. *

~~~So I fixed Lily's name- the spell check had made it Lilly instead of Lily. And I changed their year from fifth to sixth. I don't think I corrected any grammar or spelling though. Sorry guys! But anyway… review! Much love -Vixen~~~


	2. All Goodness Hidden

Chapter Two: All Goodness Hidden

*"James, we're sixth years. Took us long enough, didn't it?" Sirius joked.

"Yeah Sirius. It took us six years, imagine!" Remus joked. 

"You two idiots ready for another year at our favorite school with our favorite teachers?" James asked sarcastically.

"Naturally! I can't wait to see McGonagall! I have a few new tricks up my sleeve that she'll just _love_!" Sirius laughed evilly. James and Remus joined him.

"Hello everyone. What are we laughing at?" A new boy joined them.

"Hello Peter." Remus answered the semi-pudgy boy before them. The conversation abruptly came to a halt. Together the four boys stood huddled in a group on the train platform nine and three quarters, ready for another year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Around them milled bunches of different people, older and younger, kids with parents, kids with owls and cats and frogs, men pushing trunks to load into the train. 

"Come on then." Remus broke their silence. "Let's go get a room on the train."

"Good idea. And then I can show Jamesie here my new spell for enchanting someone's seat!" Sirius grinned.

The four of them made their way into the train, past all of the other rowdy students who were eager to return to school, and found themselves an empty compartment. Sirius, Remus, and Peter sat, while James stood blocking the door. Soon he had their attention, and he began to take full advantage of it.

"So we've everything then? Marauder's Map, and I have the invisibility cloak packed away in my trunk, and what else?"

"I hope you remembered your wand." Remus joked slightly.

"My wand!" James cried looking horrified.

"Don't tell me you actually left your wand at home James! You really are an idiot!" Remus laughed.

"Damn. Where did I put that thing?" James frantically searched his memory for the last place he put his wand. He had had it when he had gotten to the station…

"I believe you shoved it up…." James jumped for Sirius, shutting him up instantly as a fight ensued between the two. But it didn't last long. James easily grappled Sirius into a headlock.

"You were saying something Sirius?" Remus and Peter just laughed at the two idiots before them.

"Only that you put your wand in your back pocket!" Sirius choked out. James immediately dropped him and felt his back pocket for his wand. Sighing in relief, he laughed.

"Not funny." Sirius grumbled.

"But it is!" James laughed harder. "Now show me that seat trick of yours? We've been looking for something original to do to Snape…" 

"Well, first you…" As the two became engrossed with their newest idea for torturing the Slytherins, they didn't notice a light tapping on the door. However, when the door opened, they stopped everything.

Lily had been having a horrible time trying to find a place to sit. It just was not her day. First she hadn't been able to find her muggle studies book for school. Then she hadn't been able to find her favorite pair of earrings, and then she was late getting to the train station. She nearly didn't make the train because of it. And just when she thought that everything would start getting better, she couldn't find anywhere to sit.

It appeared there were no blank spaces anywhere on the train. And when she did find one, the people that were already in the compartment took one look at her and turned her away. Were appearances really all that mattered to people these days? Perhaps she really should stop her rather Gothic style of dressing, but she had been doing it so long she didn't know how to do anything else. No matter. 

Lily finally came across the last compartment in the train. When knocking did little good, se tried harder. But still that produced nothing, so she finally got up the courage to simply open the door and peek in to see who was inside. 

She stopped did still, unable to believe who she had stumbled upon. Before her stood, or rather sat, the four most popular boys in the entire school. The Marauders, as they called themselves, consisted of Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and their leader, James Potter. 

Peter was a short, rather chunky boy who was really only popular because of his friendship with the other three boys. Remus Lupin was on the quieter side, but he had a great sense of humor and was caught just as often as Sirius and James. Sirius Black was the 'ladies man' of the school. He had a new girl for every week of the school year. None of them really seemed to mind, in fact, they rather expected to be dumped after the first week, so most of them dumped Sirius first- to save face they told themselves. 

Last but in no regards least was James Potter, the unofficial leader of the gang. If Sirius was the ladies man at the school, then James was considered the school's only living heart donor. Black messy hair framed his face, and his soft brown eyes poked through thin, wire-framed glasses. James not only did decently in classes, but was the seeker on the Gryffindor quidditch team, had a great sense of humor, and above all, was nice in general towards most everyone- save maybe the Slytherins. It was a pity he and Sirius shared the record for most detentions in the school, it was the only thing that marred his perfect record.

"Who are you?" Peter stood to attention at once. Lily said nothing.

"Peter, that's Lily Evans." Remus whispered to the boy beside him, then smacked him on the shoulder for his stupidity. It wasn't smart to mess with Lily Evans, or so the rumor went. It was said that she had transfigured a boy into a frog for a full hour because he laughed at her. And even then, she hadn't wanted to release him, McGonagall had made her. 

"Lily Evans!" Peter breathed under his breath. He too, had heard the rumors.

"Can we help you Miss Evans?" Remus asked the girl politely. Lily glared at him, but said nothing. Why was he calling her miss? Why did everyone always call her that? Her name was Lily, not Miss Evans.

"Yes. There are no other compartments with space left in them. Would it be possible for me to please stay here for the remainder of the train ride?" She asked politely.

"You? Stay here?" Sirius gulped. 

"Yes. Me, here. Is there a problem with that?"

"No, not with you Miss Evans, never with you. In fact, you can have my seat here by the window." Sirius stood and offered Lily his seat. She looked at him oddly, but nodded in thanks and sat. 

"Don't mind me." She told them softly. The boys all nodded.

"Hallway?" James whispered to them. They nodded, and stood. "We'll be right back Miss Evans." She nodded, and turned to look out the window again. In the hall, the four boys scrunched in tightly to a huddle. 

"Anyone want to start?" James asked. 

"Evans is in our compartment!" Sirius said bluntly.

"Well what do you want to do, kick her out? She'll curse us if we do! You know the rumors as well as we all do." James answered back.

"James, you and Remus do pretty well in charms. Can't you two just figure out a way to block her curses?" Sirius thought aloud.

"Pretty well isn't good enough to go up against Lily Evans Sirius! She's gotten perfect scores in every class since she was a first year! James and I together couldn't match wits with that girl, she's a menace!" Remus spat.

"And her eyes are just creepy. They're so black!"

"Peter, that's makeup she's wearing, it isn't natural!" James sighed. 

"Oh. Still… with those eyes and that hair… it's just creepy!"

"I'll give him that Jamesie! I'm telling you man. She's what give witches a bad wrap!" Sirius added.

"The fact remains that she's in _our_ compartment and we can't kick her out. So I guess we'll just have to deal with her. Just don't make any sudden movements or any unnecessary noise." James finished. "Keep her happy."

"I hear that!" Sirius nodded in agreement. With the plan made between the four boys, they went back into the tiny room and took their seats. 

As the four boys walked back into the compartment, Lily wondered what they had been discussing. No doubt her creepiness. Well, it didn't matter. They were the four most popular boys in school, if they wanted to make fun of her, what could she do to stop them? She blushed as they each stared at her. 

"What?" She asked roughly. James, Sirius and Remus and turned around and diverted their eyes, but Peter didn't.

"Why do you wear so much makeup around your eyes?" He asked. Remus smacked him for his question, but Lilly actually answered it.

"I wear the makeup because I'm used to it. Have a problem? Or would you like to know why I have a nose ring too?" The only subject Lily was touchy over was her looks. She had taken enough abuse from her sister over the years, and now that she was at Hogwarts, she wasn't going to put up with it. 

"No, he's sorry he bothered you! Please don't turn him into a toad!" Sirius begged. Lily's eyes went wide and she gasped.

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you did it to some other poor sap for laughing at you! Please don't turn us into anything!" Sirius pleaded.

"I never did anything of the sort! Is that why you're acting so odd around me? Because you think I transfigured someone into a toad?"

"That would be the reason they're begging alright." Remus muttered. Then he blushed. "Sorry."

"For what? Look here. I've never transfigured anyone into anything, and I'm not going to… though I wonder if I could…. Human transfiguration is reserved for strictly for seventh years, but I have been reading up on the subject lately…" And Lily went off into her own world of thoughts, leaving the four boys far behind. 

James sat and watched his friends look at each other incredulously. They really didn't believe Lily wasn't going to turn them into toads. But as James studied Lily, he realized she really wasn't. She had let her thoughts carry her away from whatever was going on around her and was now pouring through a spell book look for human transfiguration. Maybe Miss Lily Evans wasn't quite as bad as she was made out to be. But then again, James thought as he looked over her heavy makeup, nose ring, clothes, and hair, you never could tell. After all, appearances were important, regardless of the old saying that they didn't matter.

Just then the train pulled to a halt, and the students stood and stretched. The boys let Lily out of the compartment first, and as they watched her petit, dark from walk away from them through the crowd, they sighed with relief.

"Well, that's one train ride I'm glad is over." Peter breathed.

"Me too."

"I third that motion!" Sirius yelled, happy they were finally at their destination.

"I don't think she's as bad as people make her out to be." James brooded.

"James, are you nuts? That Lilly Evans we're talking about!" Sirius cried out.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Well, come on then, can't be late to the feast, now can we boys?"*


	3. Punishment for Pranks

Chapter Three: Punishment for Pranks

*The entire school crowded into the Great Hall and the students sat at their tables, eagerly waiting for the new first years to be sorted. The Marauders sat on the end of the table, as they always did. James' eye caught a funny sight. 

The redheaded Lily Evans from the train was sitting at the other end of the long table, quietly and alone. It must be hard on her, James thought, because she was so creepy she probably didn't have any friends. As the sorting hat began to sing it's customary song, the Marauders began their planning.

"So we…" Sirius whispered to Remus, who nodded and smiled.

"And then we…" James completed the task of filling his friend in on the plot they had concocted in the last five minutes. 

"Sounds good." Remus answered back quietly. "When do we put this plan into action?"

"Well, not that we _want_ to frighten the first years or anything… but we should do it as soon as Dumbledore is just about to clap his hands to put the feast on the table. That way we don't ruin any good food, but still get all of them, not just second years and up." Sirius reasoned out.

"Good thinking. Look, the sorting is finished! Get ready! Remus, why don't we make the spell triggered by a sound, like Dumbledore's clap. That way we won't be blamed."

"Alright. You take care of the enchanting, I'll take care of the trigger spell." Remus agreed.

"Where am I in all of this?" Peter asked. He was forever being left out of the other three's schemes, and it made him rather cross because of it.

"Petie, dear old boy, you can sit there and look magnificent as always!" Sirius announced. James and Remus hid snickers, and Peter went bright red.

"Fine." Peter mumbled. They hadn't given him much of a choice- once again.

"Right then. Remus, let's do this!" James whispered, his deep brown eyes sparkling, as if he already knew how their whole prank would play out. The two boys nodded, and James brought out his wand. Concentrating very carefully, he muttered a few choice words. Remus began to speak in a hushed tone right after James began, and then aimed his wand directly at the ceiling. Their work complete, James, Remus, and Sirius sat back to enjoy what was left of Professor Dumbledore's speech.

"As for the first years, let me inform you, and remind the rest of you, that the Forbidden Forest behind the school is strictly off limits," Dumbledore paused, "Especially off limits to the sixth years." He turned up the corner of his mouth in a small smile, knowing full well _why_ he had had to personalize the statement to the fifth years as he did.

"It wasn't my fault that tree caught on fire after we lit Malfoy's hair on fire last year." Sirius muttered.

"Sirius, you nearly started a forest fire in the Forbidden Forest! Don't tell us it wasn't your fault!" Remus yelled.

"Hey! James is just as responsible as I am for that!" Sirius defended himself.

"Am not." James flushed a deep crimson. Yes he was…

"Continuing on, there is one more matter. During the course of the year, we will be hearing news of great disturbances outside these walls. Please know that you are safer here than any other place in the world, and that as long as you are here, you will have nothing to fear. But if you do, we Professors are always here to listen to you. On that rather somber note, shall we begin our feast?" 

"This is it!" Sirius yelped joyously. But James' heart was no longer in their prank. Two years ago his parents had been murdered by Voldemort, and though he had grieved long enough over his losses, he was still saddened when he was reminded. His parents had been wonderful people while alive… he shook his head and managed to return his attention to Dumbledore, who was about to begin the feast.

"Polywallyhippobra!" Dumbledore said, and clapped hiss hands. Immediately the ceiling above the Slytherin table darkened, and thunder crashed. Rain came pouring down on top of the Slytherins in torrents and sheets. As the Slytherins sat in wonder and anger at what was happening to them, the rest of the school laughed up a storm. James' dark mood was vanquished the moment he saw Severus Snape and Lucious Malfoy drenched. They looked like drowned rats with their greasy hair hanging in their eyes.

"Albus? Are you feeling alright?" McGonagall asked Professor Dumbledore. It wasn't like him to perform such a trick, not in the least.

"Yes, I'm quite well Minerva. However, it seems the pranks have begun a little earlier than expected this year. 

"They have, have they?" Minerva stood. "Potter, Black, Lupin, in my office, now." She yelled out tightlipped. She watched as the three nodded to her, still laughing. She had to admit, it was a rather ingenious trick.

As James, Sirius, and Remus sat in McGonagall's office, they squirmed, knowing they had started the year off with a bang- and were now going down hard for it. 

"I cannot believe you three. The poor Slytherin first years were scared out of their wits, to think that every night rain would be pouring down on them while they ate their supper. You've outdone yourselves this time boys."

"Yes Professor."

"Now then. This type of action calls for severe punishment, seeing as how it's the only way I'll ever get your attention. However, I can't just give you detention for the rest of the year- you'd have too much fun. Instead, I will be splitting you three up." Suddenly the boys sat at attention. What was this?

"I believe that you, Mr. Black, since you seem so fond of the weather and elements, such as rain and fire, should be able to commune with it more closely. Therefore you will be polishing the Quidditch goal rings every week for a month. And I want them sparkling." Sirius groaned. This was punishment!

"Mr. Lupin. I think that while you don't 'commune with nature' as well as your friend Mr. Black does, you still have a talent for wanting to keep up with him. In light of this. Your case of punishment, you will consist of cleaning as well. Cleaning the Great Hall after lunch and dinner every night for a month. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes Professor." Remus squirmed.

"And Mr. Potter, the brains of the operation. You realize you would have been a prefect this year, except for your lack of a perfect disciplinary record? Certain cases like yourself need discipline. Which is why you will be helping to tutor one of the students here in charms. She hasn't had an easy time in the class, and I'm sure you'll give it your best. Because, Mr. Potter, if she doesn't improve on her exam at the end of the month, you will have twice as much work as your other two friends here combined. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes Professor." James inwardly jumped. He didn't have to clean; he had to help some poor, innocent girl? She would be fawning over him after the first five minutes, and then he would be able to do whatever he wanted. This was great compared to detention! Just then a knock came at the door.

"Come in." McGonagall barked. The door opened and in walked the last person the boys had ever expected to see.

"Professor McGonagall? You wanted to see me?" Lily Evans asked. 

"Yes. Miss Evans, I have a student this year that needs a little extra help in transfiguration. Would you be interested in helping to tutor her?" McGonagall blurted out. On a normal basis she would have broken the news gently, but the Marauders had frazzled her nerves enough as it was.

"A student that needs help? Professor, I'm not too sure I'm the best person for that choice." Lily replied quietly. It wasn't her style to help people- when she did, she was usually teased something terrible by them because, well, she was a freak.

"Nonsense Miss Evans. You're been first in your class for five years and you're an excellent teacher. I can't think of anyone more suited for the job."

"But Professor, I just don't think I can…"

"Please?" One word from McGonagall told Lily everything she needed to know. As much as Lilly disliked people, she could see her teacher was desperate. Lily had a soft spot for people who were trapped in desperate situations. Sighing, she tilted her head and grimaced.

"Alright then Professor, I'll help the girl."

"Thank you Lily. Now then, why don't you and Mr. Potter discuss a day that will be suitable for the both of you to… "

"What!" James cried out. "Wait a minute Professor! You never said I had to work with-" James paused to gulp. "You never said I had to work with Evans!"

"Why Mr. Potter, do you have a problem with Miss. Evans?" McGonagall raised her eyebrow.

"Actually Professor, I wasn't aware I would have to work with Mr. Potter either."

"Well now. Potter, you don't have a choice, tutoring this girl is your punishment. However, for you Miss Evans, are you saying that would now like to back out of our arrangement?"

"Professor, I just didn't know is all. I suppose I can work with him if need be."

"Good. Now then, I suggest you two set up a date."

"Yes Professor." They replied simultaneously. They briefly looked at each other, then looked away.

"You're all dismissed. Go back to your dorms and have a good evening. I'll see you in class tomorrow." The Gryffindor students nodded at their professor and then turned to leave.

"Professor, wait!" Remus stopped them all short. 

"Yes Mr. Lupin?"

"Professor, you never mentioned who James and Evans would be tutoring!" McGonagall looked at them incredulously. 

"Why, I didn't, did I? Lilly, James, your newest student is Andrea White. Now good night lady and gentlemen." The students went white, and though they nodded, they weren't able to speak for another few minutes.

"Andrea White? Isn't she that creepy third year?" Sirius asked loudly.

"Yeah, the one with almost no hair and the huge nose?" Peter added. He had been waiting for them outside McGonagall's office and heard the news. "She's so ugly! I don't understand how she could have gotten to be a witch in the first place."

"I want to know why she needs a tutor. I mean, if you're that, well, let's just say that if I was her, I would be devoting most of my time to studying." Sirius shuddered.

"I think Jamesie here has the worst punishment of all of us." Remus joined them.

"Yeah. I'd rather clean the Quidditch goals twenty times over than spend an hour with her." Sirius laughed. 

"Maybe she won't be that bad." James put in quietly.

"Well, you've got to deal with two creepy people in one blow, first Lily Evans, and then Andrea White." Peter laughed. Both Remus and Sirius smiled, but didn't laugh. Peter thought he was funnier than he really was.

"Enough." James silenced them. It was enough that he was in this big of trouble, but to keep reminding him of it was far worse. 

"Excuse me." And past them went Lily Evans. As she passed, she gave them a glare that could contend with any they had previously been given. 

"If looks could kill!" Sirius joked.

"No kidding." Remus added with a low whistle.

"I think we hurt her feelings." James said out of the blue.

"James, it's Lily Evans! She doesn't _have_ feelings!" Peter laughed. Once again no one laughed with him. In fact, not even a smirk was cracked. Guilt ebbed their stomachs. *


	4. And So Begins Hell

Chapter Four: And So Begins Hell

*It had been three days into the school year at Hogwarts, and the silence was positively unbearable to the majority of the school. Since their first night there had only been one other prank, and it hadn't even been preformed by the Marauders. The entire Gryffindor house was in an uproar, not understanding what was holding their favorite group back from letting lose the holy terror everyone knew they were capable of. 

But Lily watched all of this from the shadows. Choosing to stay away from the limelight as much as possible, Lily had drawn back, far away from the prying eyes of the rest of her class and house. Usually she sat in the same armchair every night, reading and doing homework in the warmth of the Gryffindor fireplace, but of late she had found the company to be unbearable. 

The Marauders had sickened her with their display of unadulterated disgust for poor Andrea White. She too, hadn't been too pleased with the news of helping to tutor Andrea, but on the other hand, she hadn't spoken behind the poor girl's back. She kept her opinions to herself. Lily only knew quite too well how it felt to be called a freak, and she knew that when she was younger, before she had known she really was a freak, it had hurt her feelings something terrible. 

So instead of sitting by the fire in the common room each night as was her habit, Lily sat in the shadows of the room, back in the darkest corner by the stairs to the dormitories, and simply observed the Marauders gang as they were swarmed with people who worshipped the ground they walked on. 

She watched as Peter sniggered at things that weren't funny but mean. She watched as Remus laughed, but kept quiet for the most part, choosing to work on his homework instead. She watched as Sirius' girlfriend of the week, a Miss Geraldine Sartre, hung all over him as he laughed and rubbed his sore hands. He claimed all of the polishing he had done on the quidditch hoops had polished the feeling out of his hands and then laughed. And of course, Geraldine had had to 'kiss him all better'. It really made Lily nearly sick to watch. 

The only one who it seemed hadn't let the attention go to his head was James. He was the most interesting for Lily to watch, she realized late one night. Of all of the other four, he was the only one that had never had a girlfriend at Hogwarts. Occasionally even Peter was caught red-handed with some girl, but James never dated. He never spoke poorly of anyone around him, but at the same time, he came up with the worst pranks imaginable to pull on the poor, unsuspecting Slytherins. He was a walking contradiction, Lily thought. But she also realized that she would have to begin working with the 'walking contradiction' soon over Andrea.

Lily wondered how James would treat Andrea. He would most likely be rude and arrogant to the poor girl, as well as to herself. He was, after all, James Potter; the most popular boy in school, both smart and good-looking. What reason would have to be nice to a couple of freaks such as herself and Andrea? 

"Miss. Evans?" She looked up, broken out of her reverie by the annoying use of 'Miss' once again, only to stare into a pair of chocolate brown eyes that were so familiar from a distance.

"Yes?" She clipped. Well, she wasn't going to take a chance and let him run her down the way she had let Petunia do for so many years. If James Potter was going to make fun of her behind her back, she would just act cold to his face. At least he would have some material for his jokes. Deep in Lily's mind, thought, she heard a voice reminding her that never once had she heard him speak poorly of anyone else, no matter what they had done to him unless they were a Slytherin.

"Sorry, I'm not bothering you, am I?" He asked sheepishly. Only a few moments ago had he noticed the green-eyed, redheaded girl sitting in the dark corner on the floor. Her makeup seemed to swallow up her face, her eyes looked so cold and unforgiving, truly like the emerald stone they were colored as. 

It had been odd to see her sitting on the floor, and then he realized why. He was sitting in her usual chair by the fire. But when he had arrived in the common room to meet Peter, Remus, and Sirius, she had already been seated on the floor, and the chair had been left vacant. He wondered if it was because people thought they would be cursed if they sat in Lady Lily's chair.

After James had come to his realization, he felt rather guilty. It was, after all, _her_ chair. No, maybe she didn't own it. But it was _hers_ nonetheless. So he had tried to think of a way to get her to sit in it, and when he realized he had no choice but to speak to her anyway, he figured he might as well try to strike up a conversation and then suggest she take the chair by the fire. 

Unfortunately, Lily's prickled response to his greeting had caught him off guard, and he remembered he was dealing with Lily Evans, the social recluse of the Gryffindor fifth years. He tried to start over, but she cut him off.

"What do you want James Potter?" She clipped. She didn't like being so close to him… distance was much better. She was first and foremost an observer, not a social butterfly such as he. It was such a weird feeling, to have him standing so close, that she just wanted to get rid of him.

"Miss. Evans, I was wondering if you maybe…" James paused. Chair first, or bring up Andrea? "If maybe you wanted your seat? The chair by the fire? You look a little cold, sitting on the floor and all."

"Well, I'm not. If that's all?"

"No." he rushed on. "I was wondering about Andrea."

"Oh." Lily looked down at the pile of schoolbooks she had piled beside her. Finding the one she wanted, she opened it and thumbed through it for a minute.

"Um, Miss Evans? Andrea?" James asked again. He thought she was ignoring him.

"I know. I'm looking at dates and times. Just hold onto you pants James Potter." James blushed profusely at the muggle saying, but said nothing and patiently waited for Lilly to finish her search. Finally she closed the book and looked up again. "This Friday afternoon fine with you?"

"Friday?" How many dates and obligations did 'Lady' _Lily Evans_ have that she was booked until Friday? He and Sirius had had plans for this Friday too… an all-new prank they had been ready to play on Snape! They hadn't done one in so long… "Miss Evans? Would it be alright to maybe move it to Thursday?"

"Of course it would be alright! That's why I asked if Friday was alright for you, because if it wasn't you could make changes!" She snipped.

"Oh. Sorry." He backed away. No wonder she had the reputation she did. But she didn't seem quite so nasty on the train… James had the distinct feeling Lady Lily Evans wasn't nearly as bad as she made herself seem. "Well, I'll be seeing you, Miss Evans." 

Lily shuddered as James Potter once again called her Miss. It seemed as if everyone was in the habit of calling her that, from her professors to her fellow students. It drove her mad, but if she ever told anyone, she was sure that they would then use the name to mock her. Not that she would have cared all that much. Freaks like herself were always made fun of anyway, what difference did it make what she was being teased about?

Well, now she was tired. It was getting late, and she couldn't stand to watch as James Potter went back to his mouthy friends and admirers. Gathering her books, Lily stood, gently brushed of her long black robes, and mechanically began to climb the stairs.

"Good night Miss Evans." The room went silent. Lilly stopped and slowly turned around to see who had spoken. But she already knew. Her eyes fell upon James Potter. The whole room seemed to get quiet in waiting for her response. Would she get mad and transfigure James into a toad? Or set fire to his robes? Or place an itching spell over him? But Lilly simply gave a short nod to James, then turned and glared at everyone else and continued on her way up the stairs.

"Prongs you idiot!" Sirius smacked him upside the head. "What were you thinking? She could have hexed you for that!"

"I can't even believe you voluntarily went over to speak to her." Peter said smugly.

"Prongs, what's gotten into you?" Remus asked.

"Nothing you dolts. I just needed to talk to her about Andrea. I mean, I'd rather not have to face McGonagall twice in one month if you catch my drift."

"You said good night to her James." Sirius pointed out.

"So? She's not so bad. Course, she could go a little lighter on the eyes…" James contradicted.

"A little lighter? She looks like a ghost with sunken eyes and pale skin!" Sirius boomed.

"Oh Sirius!" His girlfriend giggled form across the room and walked over to sit on his lap. "Making fun of that wacko Evans? Isn't she just the creepiest thing you've ever seen? You know, I heard she's friends with Moaning Myrtle and Peeves. Not to mention it looks like she gets her makeup advice from them." She began to laugh, and Peter joined her. Sirius and Remus half smirked, but James kept his face straight. 

"Friends with the ghosts?" James asked.

"Yes. She has long conversations with Myrtle, and helps give Peeves his ideas. Isn't she just wretched? Know what else? I heard her entire back is covered in tattoos! And that she has piercings all over, not just her ears and nose."

"Where else can you have them?" Sirius scratched his head.

"Anywhere I suppose." Remus answered.

"She has one in her eyebrow, and one in her bellybutton, and two others in her…" Sirius' hand covered her mouth before she could finish her sentence.

"We get the picture, but we don't want to see it!" He joked. 

"Oh, of course Sirius dear!"

"Maybe she does." James muttered.

"Of course she does James! I heard it from Linda, who heard it from Carry, who heard it from Josie, who rooms with her." The four Marauders nodded, knowing it was most likely just a rumor. Still, they couldn't help wonder. Evans was a strange girl… who knew what she really did in her free time?

"Well, I'm going to bed. Tomorrow's Thursday, and I have a tutoring session tomorrow. I'll need my rest to survive it." James joked.

"Night James!" Echoed through the common room as James stood and went up the stairs to turn in for bed.

)(

She stared at the door to the library. This was where she was supposed to meet for the tutoring session. Lily breathed in and out deeply. All she had to do was last a half hour of helping Andrea with transfiguration. Then she could turn her over to James for charms. Or not. Lily was very hesitant to turn Andrea over to James Potter. She wasn't sure that it would be a good idea to leave the girl alone with James Potter. The boy could seriously hurt the poor girl's sensitive psyche. Well, she would see how it went from the half hour mark.

"Ready Miss Evans?" She spun around to face James Potter.

"Of course. And I hope you are prepared as well?"

"Yes." James paused. She had such a harsh look in her eyes. "Shall we go in then?" He asked. She nodded, and they opened the doors and stepped in together. In the back corner of the room sat Andrea White. As Lily and James made their way over to her, both of them took deep breaths and calmed themselves. They could face anything.

"Andrea?" James started as they reached her.

"Oh, here you are!" The girl at the table beamed at them. "I was getting worried you might have forgotten me James!"

"No, I could never forget you Andrea." James gave the girl a quirky smile.

"Yes, well, let's start then?" Lily suggested, slightly colder than she had meant to.

"Ye…yes, of course Miss Evans." Andrea stuttered. Lily frowned. Wait a minute. She was supposed to be the good guy. She was the one who wasn't going to pre-judge Andrea; she was the one who was gong to be polite and helpful. And Andrea was afraid of her? So much for the thought that freaks like herself could have friends. * 


	5. Aquatica Petrolious

Chapter Five: Aquatica Petrolious

*Lily was amazed. Andrea seemed to eat up James' every word, and within no time at all she was setting fire to the quill and summoning her books from across the room. As Lily watched James, she realized he was a natural teacher. He could captivate his student and help focus them. He could see where they were going wrong in their spells, and then figure out ways to help them correct the errors. All in all, Lily wasn't so sure James Potter was half as bad as she had originally thought he might be.

He was even polite to Andrea. She already knew what he thought of her, but was surprised to learn that James was good at hiding his feelings. Poor Andrea had no idea that not only three days earlier James and his friend had been laughing at her. 

"Well, I think you've got the spells down for now." James stated suddenly.

"Oh? Maybe we could just keep working a little longer?" Andrea looked up at James hopefully.

"Why? If you have it perfect, there's not much else I can do for you." James laughed.

"Just because, well, maybe we could take up another half hour or so. You know, really practice." Andrea pressed. James looked at her hard. She almost looked… desperate. Then it struck him. Andrea was afraid of Lily Evans. Not that he could blame her, but still…

"She isn't as bad as she looks Andrea. Give her a chance."

"What's this?" Lily asked, not quite understanding the hidden message in James' words.

"But James…" Andrea tried in a futile attempt to save herself form Lily. "Will you at least stay? Just in case?" James inwardly sighed.

"Sure. For you Andrea, anything." He answered warmly. Why had he been so worried about tutoring this girl? Regardless of her looks, she really was very sweet and cheerful- not at all the dumb girl Sirius' current girlfriend had warned him about.

"Well now. If you two are finished with your exclusive conversation, perhaps we can begin some time today?" Lily broke James' reverie. He glared at her, but nodded.

"We're finished Miss Evans. If you don't mind though, I'll stick around and watch."

"As long as you're not in my way." Lily frowned.

"Of course not." James acquiesced. 

"Well then. Andrea, where did you begin having problems?" Lily asked tiredly.

"Uhhh…" The girl became flustered. "Around chapter two I think." Lily sighed. She knew exactly what was going on. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. How far had the rumors that she had transfigured some one gone? The whole school probably thought she had. 

"Open to chapter two please." Lily instructed. "James, get her a glass of water."

"Miss Evans, she didn't…"

"To work with!" Lily snapped. 

"Right." James floundered for a moment, then rushed off to get the water. When Lily was sure he was gone, she closed her book and looked at Andrea. Taking a deep breath, she began.

"Andrea, look at me." The girl in front of her slowly looked up until she made eye contact. "First off, I want to introduce myself. My name is Lily, please call me that and not Miss Evans." Lily managed a small smile. "I'm not going to bite your head off, so don't be scared. I'm here because I wanted to help you, not scare you." She paused. "I should set the record straight for you- I _never_ transfigured anyone, and I don't intend to. I don't know if there are any other rumors about me, but for the most part I can tell you they aren't true. All I want to do is help you get better in transfiguration."

"You, you promise you're not going to transfigure me into an apple and eat me?" Andrea looked on, slightly scared, but also in awe. Who would have thought creepy Evans had a heart? Or that she wasn't as bad as her reputation made her out to be?

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry if I'm a bit rough around the edges, that's just me." Lily even smiled again for the girl. 

"Well, alright then." Andrea finally agreed. 

"Good. Well, shall we get down to business?"

"Here's the water. Everything alright Andrea?" James asked as he returned out of breath. He had run as fast as he could to get the water; not wanting to leave Andrea alone with Lady Lily for any more time that he absolutely had to. After all, he had promised to stick around, just in case.

"We're fine James, thanks." Andrea gave him a wide grin. James' eyes widened. What? She didn't look scared anymore. James didn't understand it. How could a girl who had been so afraid be so calm all of a sudden? What had Lady Lily said to the poor girl while he had been gone? 

"Right. Well now Andrea, why don't you tell me exactly where you lost track of the class?" Lily broke the silence.

"Oh. Well, it began around when we started actually putting the spells into work. I mean, I say them alright and everything, but they never turn out like I want them to." Andrea answered.

"Hmm. Show me. Transfigure the water into jelly. The spell should be on the next page in the book.

"Alright." The girl took a deep breath. "Aquatica petrolious!" She shouted out, swishing her wand at the water. The glass burst and the messy goo that had once been water splattered all over James.

"Aw bloody hell!" James shouted as he stood and wiped the mess from his glasses. Andrea sat laughing, and Lily was red from trying not to laugh. James glared. "Not funny girls. Now I have to go change."

"Then go. You won't be needed anyway." Lily dismissed him with a wave of her hand. Andrea and James stared at her in shock. Andrea couldn't believe Lily had the guts to act so authoritatively around James Potter, the most popular boy in school. It awed her. James, on the other hand, couldn't believe 'Lady' Lily's newfound arrogance. She had dismissed him as if he were no loss. It bothered him greatly for some reason, to know she thought so little of him.

"You can go ahead and leave if you want to James. I'll be fine I think." Andrea smiled.

"Sure?"  
"Yeah." Andrea looked back at Lily, who gave her a private wink. "I'm sure."

"Alright… but if you need me, I'm in the common room."

"Alright." And Andrea turned back to Lily. "So do you know what I did wrong?"

"Could be one of three things…" James looked on for a moment longer, then stalked out of the room. What was going on? Was everything upside down today, or was it simply him? On his way back to the dorms, he was met with a thundering Sirius.

"James my boy! What the hell happened to you? You look like some one pranked you big time!"

"Shut up Sirius." James muttered.

"Wait. I thought you were in tutoring sessions with Evans and White."

"Shut up Sirius."

"Did Evans do that to you? Oh man she got you good."

"Sirius! It was a transfiguration accident, that's all." He growled. 

"Whoa!" Sirius backed up slightly. Just then Remus joined them.

"Whoa what?" He joked.

"Prongsie here is in a rotten mood! Stay away of you don't want your head bitten off, that's whoa what!" 

"Shut up!" James yelled again. Then he rolled his eyes and stomped off, once more set on cleaning up.

"Wonder what got into him?" Remus asked as they watched him go.

"I doubt we'll ever know. James isn't the sort to just give out his feelings." Sirius became serious. 

"Kind of ironic, don't you think? The whole of the school is in love with him, and they've never even seen the real James." Remus added.

"Makes me hungry. Let's go by the kitchens!"

"Sirius!" Remus groaned, but allowed his friend to drag him off.

)(

"That's perfect Andrea! Now all you have to do is add the wand." Lily congratulated her student. 

"Ok, here it goes Lily!" Andrea beamed at Lily. Though she had been unsure at first, after James had left, Lily Evans had almost become… normal. She didn't scowl as much, and her voice seemed to lighten a few shades. Even her dark, cold eyes didn't seem quite so piercing when Lily was alone with her. Not to mention now she had the transfiguration down, and it had only taken twenty minutes. Andrea lifted the wand and muttered her spell. Suddenly the candle in front of them blurred and morphed, and a large lamp sat on the table in front of them.

"You've done it. Good work Andrea." Lily gave the girl in front of her a small smile. Though she didn't normally like people, Andrea didn't see quite so bad. The girl was incredibly friendly once she got over her shyness, and she seemed completely unaware of the stares her looks received when people walked by them. She caught on quickly too; it was just a matter of tweaking a few minor problems that had been holding her back.

"Thanks for the help Lily."

"Sure. If you need any more help, or you have another question, you can ask anytime."

"Would you be willing to set up another study hall with me? Just incase I forget something?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Thanks Lily, I really appreciate this!" 

"No problem Andrea." Lily blushed. She didn't like the praise- praise was not meant for freaks like herself.

"You can call my Andy you know. All my friends do."

"Did you have a date in mind?" Lily blew off her comment. But Andrea simply smiled and ignored Lily's brusque attitude. After the tutoring lesson, she knew that Lily was simply like that on a regular basis.

"Next Thursday?" Andrea asked while packing her bag.

"Fine."

"Bring James?"

"I'll see."

"Great! Thanks again Lily! I have to go… bye!" Lily sat stoically for a moment after Andrea the whirlwind left. Then she calmly began to pack her bag as well. It was getting late, and she just wanted to go to sleep, nothing more, nothing less. Sleep was good… very good… *


	6. Trouble With Mudbloods

Chapter Six: The Trouble With Mudbloods

*Lily frowned. It was Friday evening, and the day bad been, once again, boring. There were times that she almost wished she were normal, so she could have friends. But she quickly berated herself for thinking such thoughts and pushed them out of her head. She couldn't afford those thoughts… they would eat her alive if she dwelled on them. Better to accept the fact that she was a freak and continue living happily ever after, though it would be lonely.

As she walked into the Great Hall, she quickly grabbed her usual seat and settled in. She had to smile inwardly. No one ever sat in her seat. They knew it was hers. She figured they thought she had spelled it, cursed it even, so that if anyone but her sat in it they would be sorry. Too bad she didn't have the heart to do such a thing in reality. 

Soon enough she grabbed her food, and then sat back to listen to the gossip that was flying around her. So Sirius ad already broken it off with… what had her name been? No matter. And Peter had been seen with a Hufflepuff. Nothing unusual there. Arabella Figg had been seen flirting with Remus Lupin, and Snape and Malfoy had both received detentions that day for picking on a group of Ravenclaw first-years. Yes it was just the average dinner.

A few moments after Lily had finished, Severus Snape waltzed into the Great Hall, followed by Lucious Malfoy. Lily noticed how Snape never took his eyes off her as he went by. He always did that, and it always creeped her out beyond belief. She let her own gaze follow the two boys as they walked in, and from the corner of her eyes noted that the Marauders had evil grins on their boyish faces. So a prank was in order? This would be interesting for sure…

She watched calmly as the Slytherin boys took their seats, and then as the horror began. As soon as the two boys hit their chairs, a loud noise rang out through the hall. And then another. And still another, until the entire room was filled with the loud noise. Lily felt like laughing. Frogs! Hundred of frogs poured out from underneath the Slytherin table. As they ribbited, the sound echoed through the hall. Some of the girls were screaming, trying to get away from the frogs, but it seemed as though the frogs couldn't leave the Slytherin table. 

Lily had to sigh. The day had been boring, yes. But thanks to the Marauders, it had gone out with quite a bang. Silently she stood while the entire Hall was still laughing. Shaking her head slightly, she left the Hall and headed down the corridor towards the Gryffindor common room. Just as she turned the corner and began to climb the staircase, she realized she had left her tie in the Hall. Sighing, she turned around and began heading back from the direction she had come.

She was half way back when she ran into something hard. Falling down onto the floor, she shook her head and tried to get her bearings. Looking up, her breath caught in her throat and she narrowed her eyes.

"Snape. Malfoy." She whispered.

"Well, well. Look who it is, the mudblood tramp of Gryffindor." Malfoy sneered. 

"Back off Slytherin, or I'll transfigure you both." She threatened, hoping that the boys would have heard the rumors.

"Oh, I highly doubt you'll do that. All just rumors you know…" Snape laughed. She gulped.

"Really?" She challenged.

"Who do you think started them _mudblood_?" Malfoy joined Snape in laughing. 

"Well? How do you know I can't do it anyway?" She bargained.

"You're pathetic Evans!" They laughed harder. "You may look like a freak, but you can't scare us."

"Leave me alone Slytherin trash!" She yelled.

"No, I don't think so. Maybe we could have some fun with you. I could use some work on my hexing." Malfoy jeered. He leaned over and grabbed Lily's neck. She struggled, but his hold was like an iron vice. 

"Come on Lucious." Snape whispered in Malfoy's ear. "Leave the mudblood to rot."

"You know Severus. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you fancied this little slut."

"A mudblood? Lucious, I have better taste than that!" Snape laughed unconvincingly. 

"Do you? I was beginning to think you were losing it there." 

"He lost it a long time ago, and so did you. Let her go Malfoy, now!" A clear voice rang out from behind the three. Malfoy's grip tightened around Lily's throat as he heard the new voice, and she whimpered gently. 

"Well, well, well. If it isn't frog boy. Potter, I'm sure you can think of something better to do with your time than to try and save this pitiful little nobody."

"Last chance Malfoy. Let her go and you and Snape get out of here, or you'll find yourselves in more trouble than even you want to deal with. You'll have the Marauders on you faster than you'll know. And if you think frogs were bad… imagine what we'll do when we're angry." Malfoy faltered and looked back at Lily. He then flung her at James, who caught her with ease. Lily coughed and gasped for breath as she leaned into James' arms for support.

"We didn't really want her anyway. Just another freak, a dirty mudblood who doesn't deserve to be here." Malfoy sneered. "Come on Severus." And the two stalked off.

James looked down at the petite girl whom he held in his arms. She was still gasping slightly for air, but other than that she appeared to be all right. In fact… it was strange. She wasn't crying, or hyperventilating like every other girl might be. Didn't Malfoy's cruel use of language hurt her? Was she truly that callous? 

"Are you all right?" He finally asked. She pulled away from his arms with a jerk.

"Of course." She snapped. "But thank you. He would have cursed me something horrible."

"You sure he didn't hurt your feelings with all those names?" James pushed. He watched her eyes cloud over. How unusual… her bright green eyes became dark jade and her face paled, if that was possible.

"I'm sure. He didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"What?" James whispered. She… she believed the names? What?

"I said… never mind." Lily backed away. "Look, I have to get back to the Hall. I left my…"

"Tie. I know. I saw it and picked it up. I was coming to return it to you when I found you and Malfoy and Snape."

"Oh. Well." Lily looked at him expectantly. James blushed when he realized she was waiting for him to hand her her tie. He pulled the tie out from his robes and handed it to her sheepishly. She nodded in thanks, and then turned on her heel.

"Miss Evans?" She spun around, fire in her eyes.

"Yes?" She snapped. James winced. Why didn't she like him? 

"Err, are you sure you're all right?"

"Of course." And then she continued walking. James' eyes followed her retreating figure as it disappeared into the darkening halls. The last thing he saw of her was her fiery red hair.

"James? What's going on?" Remus and Sirius stepped into the halls.

"Nothing. Just stopped Malfoy and Snape from torturing Lily Evans is all."

"Lady Lily?" Sirius grinned wolfishly.

"Yeah, Lady Lily. You know, I get the feeling she doesn't like me."

"She doesn't like anyone."

"That's not true." A new voice from behind them spoke up. The three boys whirled around to find Andrea White behind them. 

"What do you mean Andy?" James asked confused.

"I mean, Lily's not so bad as everyone says. She's actually very nice. A little rough around the edges, but she's not so bad once you get used to her."

"But she doesn't let anyone get used to her." Remus pointed out. Andrea laughed.

"Well, you might start by knowing that she's never transfigured anyone into anything, and she doesn't want to. She also doesn't hex her chairs, or curse anyone. And she hates to be called Miss Evans. Her name is Lily, and she would like to be called Lily."

"You mean Evans has feelings?"

"Well…" Andrea paused. "Of course she does! She has to, she's human after all."

"We were beginning to wonder…" Sirius joked. Andrea and James glared. 

"Leave her alone Si. Lily can't be as bad as everyone says." James warned. 

"Alright. Just one question though. Does she really have tattoos up and down her back and piercings everywhere?"

"No!" Andrea laughed.

"See Sirius? Just rumors." Remus smacked him upside the head. 

"I'm going back to the common room guys, I'll see you later." James sighed and shook his head.

"I'll come with you James." Andrea volunteered. She looked at James and sighed half way. He was cute! But she didn't have a chance. It wasn't that she thought her appearance really would have mattered if James had liked her, no. But she knew it would take someone very special and original indeed to catch James Potter's heart. Still, a girl could dream.

"Andy?"

"Yeah?"

"What happened between you and Lily?" James asked.

"You mean the other afternoon? Not much really. I mean, when you went to get the water, she looked me straight in the eye and introduced herself politely. She told me she hates being called Miss Evans. She also said not to be scared of her, that she was naturally rough around the edges and not to take it personally. Then she winked, and almost smiled. You couldn't have noticed, but when you were all wet with the water, she was all red in the face, like she wanted to laugh but was holding back. She really is nice, I think."

"She made friends with you while I was gone?" James frowned. "She must not like me. I've talked to her alone twice now and she still hasn't treated me that nice."

"Maybe you should try calling her Lily. That might get her to lighten up."

"But even if I did… why do I even care?"

"Because you're a nice person who wants to be friends with everyone James."

"Maybe." Andrea looked at James again. Yes… a _very_ special person would need to capture his heart. He seemed so open to the public's eye, but in reality, he hid a great deal of himself. How odd…

When the two entered the common room, Andrea bid James a good night. James looked around. The room was quiet and empty. It seemed most people were either in the library studying for the major tests tomorrow or doing their potions paper. James sighed and rubbed his face. Strolling over to the fire, he collapsed into a large armchair.

"Long day?" A voice rang out. His eyes shot open. Sitting across from him was none other than Lily Evans herself. 

"Hello Lily." James replied softly. He watched her eyes widen, and then slightly glow. They were beautiful when they were lit up… like two sparkling emeralds in the summer sun. He was captivated by her eyes- until she spoke.

"Hello James." She answered softly. He had called her Lily! Not Miss Evans, as most everyone, including himself, did. She had to feel happy hearing her real name roll from his tongue. Why, she did not know. But she did, nonetheless.

"You're sitting in your chair again." James gave her a sideways grin.

"It's cold tonight- the fire goes a long way in keeping me warm."

"Yeah…" And a silence settled upon them. 

"Andrea would like to set up another date James." Lily finally broke the silence.

"Really? I spoke to her, and she didn't say anything." Lily shot him a surprised look.

"Hmm." But she didn't say anything else.

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you tell me you didn't like being called Miss Evans?" James asked, feeling brave enough to bring up the touchy subject.

"If I told everyone that, they would use it against me more than they do."

"Against you?"

"Who would be nice to a freak like me James?" Lily's eyes darkened again. And she cleared her throat and stood. "Good night James."

"Good night." He replied. But his mind twisted over what she had said… a freak like her… was that really what she thought people thought of her? Poor Lily… and that night James was given a small insight into the world of Lily Evans. He wondered… what more was there he could learn about her that no one knew? *

~~~Hey! So here's my newest ch! See, as I warm into the story I write better, so please bare with my eccentrics for a short while longer! It's getting there, I promise! Reviews help though! Much love –Vixen ~~~


	7. Stop the Gossip

Chapter Seven: Stop the Gossip

*"Well I heard she was out for blood!"

"Yeah, me too! I mean, she's only the biggest freak in the entire school! Honestly? Who would dress like that on a normal basis? It's just plain creepy if you ask me."

"No, I totally agree. Where do you think she even buys that makeup of hers?"

"Nowhere we would shop, that's for sure. I heard she made a potion once that that gave her permanent black circles under hers eyes and pale skin. It was like a mild form of poison or something."

"No, really? Wow! All I heard was that she was really a vampire in disguise."

"I could see that happening." 

James looked across the library at the three girls who were giggling around a table. He had heard every word, and liked not one. It was obvious they were speaking about Lily. But he didn't understand how anyone could be so harsh about an innocent person. Lily had never done anything to give anyone reason to hate her or fear her, except maybe dress a little differently. Now if the girls had been speaking about Snape or Malfoy, he could easily see where they might have a motive. But for Lily? One of their own? It truly wasn't a very pleasant thing for James to learn.

How long had Lily been treated like this? He supposed it had been the entire time she had been at Hogwarts, but he had never really noticed how much it was until now. To him she had always seemed a little odd, but as long as she never bothered him or his friends, he hadn't cared much for her. Now that he was beginning to get to know her, even on a simple acquaintance level, he found it unfair the way everyone else simply wrote her off.

"James?" James looked up to see one of the girls from the other table standing before him.

"Yes?" He asked coolly. He had been incredibly turned-off by their heckling.

"Oh! I just, ah, well, I saw you from over at my table and thought you looked a little sick. Is everything ok? I mean, you're really pale, but then you almost looked red too."

"I'm mad." James replied honestly. He was going to tell those girls what he thought. If he could squelch just one group of girls, maybe it would have a domino effect and the rest would leave Lily alone as well.

"Mad? What for? Is it something I can help you with?"

"You can begin by stopping the rumors about Lily."

"Lily? Who's Lily?"

"Lily Evans. Yes, Evans, the same girl you and your friends have been gossiping about. It isn't a very nice pastime."

"She has a name? I didn't know."

"Of course she has a name. And you should call her that."

"James, if you don't mind me asking, why do you suddenly care about Gothic Evans? I mean, she's so creepy…"

"Lily. And you should care just as much as I do. She is a fellow Gryffindor, and you should at least she her some respect. Otherwise you're nothing better than a Slytherin." James narrowed his eyes. The girl gasped.

"I'm no Slytherin!"

"Then be more loyal for your own and use your bravery to stick up for her, not put her down. She can actually be nice if you'll only speak to her. Give her a chance Arabella. Maybe you'll find out she can be a decent person."

"But the rumors…"

"Slytherin made." James interrupted her.

"Really? She never was a vampire, or made a death potion, or transfigured anyone?"

"Not once."

"Oh. Well then what about the makeup?" The girl, now known as Arabella asked skeptically. It was hard for her to see the concept that maybe Lily Evans was a good person.

"She wears a little too much makeup? Can you judge her for that? I thought appearances weren't everything."

"You know that appearances matter just as much as anything else James. It's a human flaw, one that we can't ignore, no matter how much we try." James paused listening to her. She actually said something intelligent? He hadn't figured her for a smart girl. However, James had never voiced his opinions aloud; and that was what made him different from her.

"I know. But maybe you could try seeing past that just once? Just introduce yourself to her and try calling her Lily. You may be surprised."

"Maybe. But what would my friends say?" James lost some of the respect he had just gained for her. How selfish had her comment been? She was more worried about hurting her image than helping a lonely soul feel accepted?

"If they're your friends, I would assume they would be just as welcoming. Otherwise, they aren't really friends, just clingy people who like to gossip to hurt other people's feelings."

"Hmm." James stood as Arabella stayed quiet, deep in thought.

"Arabella, I have to go. I'll see you around."

"Yeah, ok." She paused. "And James?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll try. No promises, but I'll try. Besides, a makeover might be fun!" She winked and laughed. "Just joking. But I really will try." She promised.

"Thanks. And Arabella?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll put in a good word for you with Sirius. That _is_ why you came over in the first place? Right?" He grinned as she blushed.

"Maybe…" He laughed, then walked out of the library. Arabella stood stunned a moment more before smiling and walking back to her friends. 

"So? What did he say Arabella?" One of them asked.

"He asked me to stop spreading rumors about Lily." She answered absently.

"Who?"

"Evans! He wants us to be nice to Evans!" She cried. 

"What?" Her friends exclaimed together.

"I know, I know. It sounds crazy. But he thinks we're mean and horribly rude to be gossiping about her. He wants us to give her a chance. And he really wants us to start calling her Lily."

"Rude? Us? But she's a vampire, I swear! How can you be nice to one of them?"

"She can't really be a vampire girls! Come on! It's all just rumors! You can't _really_ believe all of that slander, can you?" Arabella's two friends eyed each other and then looked back at her skeptically. "Oh honestly! James told me the Slytherins made it up!"

"They did?"

"Yes! Come on girls, let's us give her a try, shall we? Besides, if we do and she becomes our friend, two good things can come out of it."

"What are those?"

"Well, one, we make friends with the Marauders and James puts in a good word with Sirius about me, and two, we get to do a makeover!" Arabella knew that would brighten her friend's thoughts about the situation, and was delighted to see she had been right when their eyes lit up.

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's find Evans and be friends!"

"Do you know how fake that sounded? I think we should really try to help her girls. I mean, it can't be easy living here at Hogwarts for six years and never having any friends, can it?" Arabella stopped them.

"Yeah, but she's _Evans_! I mean, she was probably used to it before she came here, don't you think?"

"Then maybe it's time she had a few real friends. Let's go then!" And the three girls stood, gathered their things, and left the library in search of Lily Evans.

)(

But Lily herself didn't feel like being found. In fact, she didn't feel much like anything. Earlier in the day she had received the news of her sister's engagement. Petunia was getting married. Married. Petunia. Since when had life become so deranged? Petunia was barely eighteen, the legal age for marriage, and already she was certain she had found the man of her dreams? Of course Lily had heard of him through her parent's letter, but other than that she had never met the boy. 

She supposed that she should think that it was a good thing that she had never met that man from her parent's letter, but she still felt worried. Was this man good enough for her sister? Even if Lily and her sister never quite got along, she was still worried that this man would somehow hurt her sister. She wanted to protect Petunia as long as she could. Lily shuddered. 

Why did she have to be so nice? She knew she should be angry at Petunia for teasing her her whole life, but for some reason she couldn't find it in her heart to feel hatred against her own sister. 

What she did feel, however, was a slight bit of jealousy. At the age of eighteen her sister already knew whom she loved and who loved her. Why couldn't Lily ever feel like that? She knew why: because she was a freak, just like Petunia had always told her. And of course, one of the drawbacks to being socially inept was the fact that she would never find love and instead grow up to be an old spinster. Lily sighed and wiped away the teas that had begun to form. She needed to get out, to take her mind off of some of these depressing truths. 

As soon as Lily got outside the castle, she headed for the one place she knew she would be welcomed. The small hut across the grounds didn't take long to get to, and before she knew it, Lily was standing in front of the door and rapping on it gently.

"Come in!" Came a booming and husky voice in reply. Lily opened the door and entered the warm hut. 

"Well all be! Lily! Come right on in here and warm up! It's getting chilly for the fall season!" Lily had to smile.

"Thank you Hagrid." She blushed and hung up her scarf on the twisted wooden coat rack the rested by the door. She grabbed a seat from the small table and placed it next to the fireplace. Then she waited for Hagrid to take his usual place in the comfy armchair chair across from her. 

"Now tell me Lily, how are you dear?"

"Been better actually. Petunia's getting married. My mother wrote me this morning to let me know."

"That git of a woman's getting hitched?"

"Hagrid! Petunia isn't a git!" Lily flushed.

"She's got you so convinced that you're a freak that you hardly ever smile! I should say she is a git!" Hagrid slapped his giant knee with insistence. Lily sighed. He was always like this.

"Hagrid, you know she's right. I am a freak, why bother denying it? And I don't smile because there's nothing to smile about. Please don't start this conversation again."

"Lily, you are not, never have been and never will be a freak. And that's all I'll say on the matter." Hagrid announced. Lily rolled her eyes, but did not dispute his words. If she did, she knew she would only get into an argument she had had many times and had no desire to repeat again.

"Anyway. Hagrid, I'm worried for Petunia. What if this man she's so in love with isn't good for her? What if he treats her poorly, or he can't support her?" Lily spilled to the giant man. She always felt at ease around him- he was the only one at the entire school whom she trusted to give her advice. Why, she didn't really know. Maybe it was because of that one time he had saved her from the jeering seventh years. Or the time he had stopped Malfoy from cursing her. Or the time… well, he had always been there to back her up. 

And besides. People usually looked at Hagrid the same way they looked at her: like he was scary and mean. People avoided him, like they did with her. So they had common ground to build off of. The only difference was that Hagrid, unlike herself, didn't believe she was a freak, like she did.

"Let me get this straight. You're worried for her?"

"Yes."

"For her who treats you so poorly?"

"Hagrid…"

"I know, I know. Well then. I don't think you should. Your parents like him well enough, don't they? And you trust your parent's judgment, don't you?" Hagrid scratched his bushy beard. 

"Of course."

"So then not to worry, they'll take care of everything."

"You think so?"

"Of course! Anything else got you down?"

"Well…" Lily wanted to tell him her other worry- about never being in love- but for some reason she hesitated. Just as she was about to begin again, a knock came at the door.

"Come in!" Hagrid shouted. The door opened and Lily nearly gasped to see who was standing in the doorway. Of all the people, never had she expected to see James Potter visiting Hagrid. *

~~~In case you haven't noticed, I want to build friendship between Lily and James before I build romantic interest. But don't worry. There will be plenty of attraction and tense moments between the two coming up! You'll get you're fair share of lime, I promise! Much love, –Vixen~~~


	8. Deep Discussions

Chapter Eight: Deep Discussions

*"James!" Hagrid yelled out good-naturedly. "Come on in lad! Lily and I were just about to have some tea. Care for some?"

"You and wh… Lily?" James asked incredulously. She had been the first thing on his mind, but the last person he had been expecting to see. Why, of all places, was Lily Evans _here_? Visiting Hagrid? Did she know him very well? Great. Now he couldn't talk to Hagrid about his… well, he couldn't talk to Hagrid. He didn't know exactly what he had needed to get off his chest, but he had thought that once he had seen Hagrid, it would all just spill. And now…

"Hello James." Lily said quietly. This was awkward; there was no doubt about that.

"Lily! Hi." James said uncomfortably. 

"Lily? James? Do you two know each other?" Hagrid asked. He already knew they had to, of course, since they were in the same year in the same house, but it was a good ice -breaker.

"Yeah, we do. Lily and I were helping to tutor Andrea White together." James answered.

"Oh?" Hagrid raised his eyebrows in surprise. Lily and James? Together? Hmm. It strangely fit. They were opposites in every way on the outside. While Lily was cold and quiet, James was loud and vibrant. Lily had few friends, and James was friends with everyone. 

However, when looking deeper, Hagrid knew that both of them had a great deal of personal issues that they hid from the public eye. He knew both of them were deep people who were searching for something, or someone that would complete them in some way. Hagrid smiled grimly. Maybe they had found what they were looking for without even realizing it.

"Hagrid?" James asked, waving his hand before the giant man's face. He seemed to have drifted off in thought.

"Oh, sorry there James, Lily. James, pull up seat. Lily was just telling me her sister is getting married!" Hagrid grinned. 

"Hagrid!" Lily blushed. She didn't need James Potter digging around in her private life! Sure he seemed nicer than she had first thought, but even so… she didn't think she could trust him yet.

"Your sister? I didn't know you had a sister Lily." James said thoughtfully. 

"Well, I do. So mind your own business!" She snapped, trying to deter James. But the boy beside her merely grinned. He looked as if he were about to speak before Hagrid beat him to the punch. 

"Lily!" Hagrid exclaimed. She blushed. 

"Sorry." She squeaked. 

"No, that's quite alright. Lady Lily reserves the right to keep things to her self." James playfully answered. Lily blushed harder, but this time her temper was tweaked.

"It isn't funny." She breathed in and out, trying to control her temper.

"Oh? Lady Lily, please don't take me so seriously. If you don't want to share with me, I understand." He grinned ridiculously. Lily's breath was caught by the unbelievable sparkle that twinkled in James' deep brown eyes for a moment. Her temper cooled instantly. Besides, he was only teasing. Well… two could play at this game.

"Do you then?" She countered. James' jaw dropped slightly. Was that a smirk on her face? Was she… _enjoying_ this? He had never thought he would see the day Lady Lily Evans smiled at _him_. It was backwards of everything he had ever known about her. But then again, he was learning that she herself was backwards of everything had ever thought of her.

"Of course." He smiled, bowing slightly in his seat. Lily had the urge to laugh, but held it back.

"Well now. Lily, I don't suppose I've ever seen you smirk like that." Hagrid laughed heartily. Lily's pale face matched her hair color, and James joined Hagrid.

"She's forever surprising me too Hagrid." He told him.

"Well. If you two are quite finished?" Lily snipped. The two men stopped.

"So then Lily. Will you tell me more about your sister?" James asked politely.

"No." She replied sharply. James' breath caught when he looked into her eyes and watched them cloud over. They were the color of dark jade. It seemed that whenever she didn't want to speak to about something her eyes became that color. Talking about her sister must have been a touchy subject for her.

"Lily…" Hagrid began.

"Hagrid, you don't have to agree with me, but I already know it's true, so please stop denying it."

"Hogs wallop Lily. None of that slander is true." She sighed.

"Hagrid, can we please discuss this later, perhaps when we're alone?"

"No. You'll make me forget. I need to convince you one way or another. Lily Evans, you are not a freak."

"But I am. Why do you keep denying it? Hagrid, haven't you heard the rumors? People think I'm a vampire, or that I'm gothic, or that I'm evil. Face it, I'm a freak."

"Lily, what's this?" James asked. Lily turned her head.

"Nothing James. Just a notion Hagrid's gotten into his mind."

"A freak?" James asked.

"Well, of course. That's what I am. Or haven't you noticed?" She laughed dully. 

"You're not a freak Lily." James told her quietly.

"You tell her James. I've been trying to tell her that for a good six years, but does she listen to me? No! It's all that brainwash her sister puts into her mind when she goes home, that's what. It's pure poison Lily, you shouldn't listen to it to begin with."

"Hagrid! Petunia is my sister! She wouldn't spout poison like that! She's just trying to save me a lot of hurt. I mean, imagine if I hadn't known I was a freak coming into Hogwarts. I would have been even more of an outcast that I am now. It's just the way things are, that's all."

"Lily, your sister told you you were a freak?" James' eyes filled with concern. He couldn't imagine having a sister who hated him so much as to tell him that. 

"Well, she was only telling the truth James."

"But it's not true." James insisted. Lily looked up, and their eyes met. She felt herself getting lost in his deep chocolate eyes. They were so penetrating, as if he could see her soul.

James, too, was lost within pools of shimmering dark jade framed by the black of her makeup. Lily's eyes were so beautiful, so captivating and unusual. He found himself being hypnotized by their startling color contrast and depth.

"Why don't you think it's true?" Lily breathed.

"Because it isn't."

"Look at me James. It is." James tore his eyes from hers, only to look her up and down.

"Ok. I've looked. The only thing that is different about you is the way you dress and do your makeup. All the other girls don't use so much black. But Lily, you are not a freak."

"What will it take to convince you two that I am?"

"Nothing! You've only made us see that you aren't even more." Hagrid grunted.

"Well then. I think I can find better things to do than sit here and be told opposite of what I believe. Thank you for the tea and good day." Lily said quickly as she stood, gathered her scarf, and ran out the door.

"Now Hagrid, what's this about her being a freak?"

"Oh James, it's worse than you could imagine. Lily's sister has been spewing poison into her head since she was two years old; telling her she was a freak. Lily's begun to believe it over all those years. So now I'm trying to counter what her sister's told her, but it just don't seem to be working." Hagrid sighed.

"The same sister who's getting married has been telling her this?"

"Yeah. She only has one- Petunia. But that one is as wicked as she comes. I've heard stories from Lily that gave me the chills. And get this: Lily's worried about the wench. She came here to day because she was worried about her sister marrying the wrong man. Ain't that something? The girl's been teased to no end by her sister and she still cares that much about her."

"It's twisted."

"That's what it is!" Hagrid agreed.

"So then she really believes she's a freak?"

"Yeah. That's why she started dressing like that I the first place- because that was how Petunia told her freaks dressed. Ever since then I guess Lily's been the same. You know she's really very sweet. But I can't seem to break her shell. She just don't want to trust anyone, that's what."

"I want her to trust me Hagrid." James said suddenly. "I really want her to trust me."

"Why's that James?"

"I don't know. I can't explain it. It's just that I want to be there for her… does that sound crazy?"

"No."

"Well then, how do I earn her trust?"

"I don't know. Maybe you just need to be around for her. Whether she tells you or not, she's torn up inside because of her sister and this wedding. I think there was something else bothering her too, but you came before she said much else. Maybe you could find out what it was and give her advice. When she starts confiding in you, you know she trusts you."

"Right, I'll keep that in mind. Thanks Hagrid. I guess I'll be going now. I'll see you later then."

"Bye James!" Hagrid bid him a farewell. 

When James got back to the common room, he found it was empty once again. It was so quiet. Too quiet… it was time for another prank! Things needed to be stirred up a bit. And maybe it would help to get his mind off of Lily Evans as well.

"James?" He spun around.

"Lily?"

"Yeah. I wanted to apologize for my rudeness. I was pretty rough with you back there."

"No, not really. Lily, I don't understand how you can possibly think you're a freak. You're so nice once people get to know you. There's no way… I just can't see it."

"Well, I didn't see it at first anyway. But I realized it just before I turned ten, and ever since then… I've just always known."

"Since before you were ten? What made you so sure?"

"James, I don't really feel like talking about this." She shifted uncomfortably. 

"But if you don't it will only eat away at your heart and soul for a longer time. Come on Lily, I won't hurt you. I promise."

"I'm sorry, I can't…"

"Lily, trust me." She looked up and once again their eyes caught. So lost neither realized it when they moved in closer.

"I don't trust anyone James." She whispered sadly. 

"Why not try trusting me? Like for a trial week?"

"And what after that? No James, it doesn't work like that. I can't just trust you, you have to earn my trust."

"How can I do that Lily? What would you have me do?" James implored her. Lily blushed at his voice. It nearly sounded like James Potter was begging… begging _her_, of all people, to give him her trust. But she just couldn't…

"Nothing. There is no way."

"There has to be some way Lily. Nothing is impossible after all." He gave a silly lop-sided grin. 

"But it's certainly improbable. A freak like me can't depend on anyone James, it always backfires one way or another."

"Lily, I'm going to stop you from thinking you're a freak. That is the biggest bunch of bull I've ever heard."

"James, I'm never going to stop thinking I'm a freak."

"I can help. I promise I'm going to show you otherwise." James told her.

"How?"

"I'll stick by you, show you that you're no weirder than anyone else around here."

"I somehow doubt that." She murmured.

"It's true! Besides. I heard Arabella Figg saying she wanted to meet you. Really meet you, not just listen to those stupid rumors the Slytherins made."

"Arabella Figg? She's the most popular Gryffindor girl in the sixth year." Lily gasped.

"Well? See? You're more normal than you think."

"I'm anything but normal."

"Very well, you're not normal. But you're not a freak." He smiled goofily. 

"Well." But she had nothing more to say.

"Now then, Lady Lily, I need to come up with a good prank to pull. It's been too quiet around here since the frogs."

"What will you do?" Lily asked with quiet interest. 

"Not sure yet. But I'll let you know before we do it."

"No!" She smiled sheepishly. "Don't. I like being surprised and laughing."

"But you don't laugh."

"Well, not out loud. But I always think your pranks are funny. I hope you pick a good one."

"For you Lady Lily, I will do a good one."

"Well then, good. Good night James."

"Night Lady Lily." And they parted ways. *


	9. Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Chapter Nine: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

*Lily was slowly walking down the hall to the transfiguration classroom when she noticed three shadows had joined her. Hoping it wasn't the Slytherin clean up crew again; Lily snuck a curious glance behind her. And then she turned her head back around and gasped silently to herself.

"Eva… er, Lily! Wait up!" One of the people behind her called. She stopped cold in her tracks. And then the three figures were on her like wolves on a kill.

"Hi Lily!"

"I love your hair Lily!"

"Those earrings are awesome Lily!" Their voices cut the air around Lily like a knife, each louder and more obnoxious than the first. What was going on?

"Lily?" One voice stood out amongst the rest. "Lily, are you alright?" Finally Lily was able to break from her reverie. Shaking her head and blinking, she gathered herself and prepared for insults.

"Hello Arabella, Kat, Eva." She replied coolly. What did they want from her?

"Hi! Lily, walk with us to transfiguration. We never get to talk to you!" Arabella smiled, trying her hardest to forget the horrible rumors that surrounded the girl. But James had said she was alright, and anyone who was friends with James had to be a nice person. As polite as James was to everyone, he was only friends with a very few people. If he was friends with Lily, it meant she was special, more so than they had given her credit for in the past. 

"Alright then." Lily whispered, still unsure of what was going on. Why were these three girls suddenly so sweet to her? She knew James had said Arabella had wanted to meet her, but… she had never expected she really would! It just wasn't done! To cross social classes like this… it was wrong! It undermined the entire social hierarchy of Hogwarts! Still, it was nice to walk with other people down the dark halls into the dungeons where the transfiguration classroom was…

"What do you think Lily?" Arabella asked suddenly. Lily froze. Arabella was asking _her_ for advice? And she hadn't even heard the question! Oh no! What was going on?

"About what?"

"Lily!" Arabella laughed. Lily wasn't as dreadful as she had been made out to be after all! Arabella could see the touch of fear and shock in the girl's eyes and knew that she really had just been made fun of so much that people believed it. She didn't believe for one moment that Lily Evans would transfigure anyone into anything now. "Lily, I was asking if you wanted to go to Hogsmead with us next weekend. It's the first one of the year you know! _Everyone_ is going!"

"I've never gone." Lily wanted to slap her hand over her mouth and run away. Why had she said that? Why had she told a virtual stranger something like that? 

"Never gone? Never?" Kat exclaimed.

"No." Lily gulped.

"Well then. You'll be coming with us, and that's that!" Arabella looped her arm with Lily's.

" You'll have so much fun! We'll go to the Three Broomsticks and get butterbeer, and of course we'll stop by the Magical Make-ups and Costumes store… it's the only place to go for decent make-up!" Kat babbled. 

"We can even give you a make-over afterwards!" Eva added. She and Kat smiled at each other, but Arabella frowned.

"Lily doesn't need a make-over, she's pretty as she is." She paused, then broke out smiling devilishly. "She just needs to learn to flaunt it!" The three girls laughed and Lily blushed. They thought she was pretty? She was a freak! This wasn't right!

"I'm sorry, but I'm busy." Lily replied gruffly. She pulled her arm out from Arabella's hold and shied away. "Please leave me alone." And then she hurried away from the three shocked girls. 

Arabella watched as Lily left them quickly. What had gone wrong? Logically she knew Lily was just scared to be thrown into the social scene so quickly. It was the same with most other girls Arabella had known over the years. She laughed silently. But then, none of the other girls had ever backed away like Lily had. The others had gone on to become bigger and better, until finally people began to see them for what they really were, trashy girls who were bad tempered, jealous, and greedy. Eva and Kat were much the same in that respect, Arabella knew. But at least they had enough sense to remain quieter than the others. It meant they would last a lot longer in the social limelight. Arabella often sat and wondered how long she herself would remain 'popular'.

But Lily. Lily was the only one to ever truly refuse to be anything in the social scale. Why? Fear couldn't be the only reason. What made her dress and act the way she did? Arabella's mind fluttered with possibilities. Lily was too shy and polite to be a true darkling. Her attitude didn't fit her style. Arabella sighed. Maybe it was a good thing Lily had refused her. It would keep Lily innocent longer. As long as Lily didn't have to deal with the jeering crowds of popularity- the mean, caddy, girls and the dumb, power-hungry guys, then she would be ok. 

But Arabella had promised James. She had promised to take Lily under her wing and help her, befriend her. So she would try again. Maybe she should leave Eva and Kat out of it and just go one on one with Lily. It may be slightly easier to get to know her better first before she introduced her to other people. Yes, that was what she would do. And with her mind made up, Arabella began her walk once more to her next class. 

As Arabella and her two cronies entered the classroom, Lily sighed heavily. It was over. Never again would she have to deal with anyone like Arabella and her friends. 

"Hello Lady Lily. Is this seat taken, or may I sit beside you?"

"James!" Lily looked up in shock. She hadn't seen him come in, much less expected him to speak to her in public, and so politely on top of it all!

"That's my name, don't wear it out!" James smiled a cocky grin and Lily blushed slightly.

"Don't you want to sit by Sirius or Remus? Or Peter?"

"I'd rather sit by you."

"Stop it. Go sit by your friends. You don't want to sit by a freak, now do you? Everyone will start spreading rumors."

"They already do that."

"Yes, but you've never had any bad rumors spread about you, and you're sure to get some by sitting next to me. Go away James, go on!"

"Lily?" Arabella's voice came from behind James.

"Oh no…" Lily moaned softly. James heard her and wondered what was going on.

"Can I sit by you? Or are you going to James?"

"No! By all means Arabella, sit here. Lily, this is Arabella Figg. Bella, this is…"

"We've met." Lily interrupted him coldly. "And no one is sitting by me. Maybe you two should go sit by each other." 

"Lady Lily, I can't do that! And leave you all alone?"

"I've managed on my own since I was ten James. I'll manage another few days."

"But you don't have to." James lowered his voice and became serious. Arabella watched the scene from a distance. Lily and James seemed to have an unspoken understanding of each other. It was so strange, but it almost seemed as if they had been friends forever and beyond.

"I do. I can't trust anyone here, not even you." Lily whispered back, now close to tears. She shut her eyes tight and tried to hide the inner turmoil that streamed through her veins. She wanted friends. Ever since James had first called her Lily she had realized she wanted friends. But she just couldn't trust them… she was a freak! Why would anyone want to be a freak's friend unless they were using them to get something? But what could James and Arabella want to use her for? She didn't know! She just didn't know!

"Lily, come on! You need friends! You can't shut everyone out! Otherwise you'll miss so much." James told her softly. The class had been forgotten. Everyone else in the room had disappeared. There was no noise. The only sound that they heard was the heavy breathing of the other as they each struggled to come to terms with their minds and hearts. 

"What would I miss James? Getting hurt? Being made fun of? Being told I'm a freak? I already know that! Why do I need others to re-affirm it?" Lily whimpered. Arabella gasped. Lily had serious psychological issues… a freak? A sinking feeling entered Arabella's stomach. So all the years of teasing her had had this deep an effect on Lily? God she felt so guilty… she would make it up to her if it was the last thing she did!

"Lily! So you'll get a few snide remarks here and there! Everyone gets that! You'll miss having fun! Being crazy once in a while! You'll miss dances and parties, you'll miss having someone to tell your secrets to and falling in love." James tried to implore her.

"Love doesn't exist!" Lily cried out. Then she finally opened her eyes. A single tear trailed down her cheek. Forgetting the class and her books, she simply turned and ran out of the room. 

"Love doesn't exist?" James repeated. "How can she think that?" He was torn. 

"Class, let's get started." Began the Professor. James took Lily's old seat and looked up to the front of the classroom. But his mind was a thousand miles away, pondering poor Lily's idea. How could love not exist?

"Professor?"

"Yes Miss Figg?"

"Lily Evans isn't here. I think she's sick. May I please be excused to check on her?" Arabella asked. 

"Miss Evans?" The Professor looked surprised. "By all means. When my best student isn't here, something must really be very wrong. Go on ahead."

"May I go with her?" James suddenly asked.

"Mr. Potter. I don't think Miss Evans needs a fan club going, and you can't afford to miss this class."

"Yes sir." James slumped in his chair.

"Don't worry James. I'll let you know what happens later." Arabella whispered as she grabbed hers and Lily's things. James nodded, but her words didn't help the knot that had twisted itself in his stomach- or the lump that had formed in the throat. 

)(

Where could she have gone? Not knowing Lily well enough, Arabella was at a loss at where to find the girl. She had already checked all of the Gryffindor dorm rooms, the common room, and the Great Hall. 

Slowing down, she finally stopped altogether and sighed. Well then, it was time to look at the situation objectively. Lily was a quiet girl who prided herself on being smart. Arabella knew that Lily often watched people from the shadows, always observing and never joining. Lily had a strong work ethic and always turned in her homework on time… that was it! Lily had to be in the library! And once again Arabella took off down the halls. 

When she entered the library, the silence intimidated her more than anything. Of course Arabella had been in the library before, but never had she been in it alone. Peeking in all of the massive rows of books and tables, Arabella searched hard, her eyes on the look out for a one Lily Evans. But soon she gave up, not able to find Lily anywhere. But she was sure that Evans _had_ to be hidden somewhere. 

Where else in the library could she be hiding? The only other place left to look was the restricted section, but Lily was too innocent to ever think about… It was a soul torturing experience, to walk the rows of restricted books, knowing that most of them were enchanted and probably had minds of their own. But soon Arabella's keen sense of hearing picked up on a muffled noise, and as she turned the corner, she finally found Lily. 

"Lily?"

"Get away!" Lily tried to sound mean, but it only came out as a whisper. 

"Lily, I only wanted to…"

"Get away or I'll curse you!" Lily threatened. Arabella sighed. What to do? Fine. If she had to, she had to. She approached Lily and sat in the floor beside her. Then she tentatively put an arm around Lily's shaking shoulders and gave her a short squeeze. 

"James is cute, don't you think?" Lily looked up at Arabella's words. "Of course, Sirius is ten times better looking, but…" And Lily had to burst out with a short laugh. Wiping away her tears, she tried to frown again.

"Didn't I say I was going to curse you?"

"Yeah, but no one ever believes those Slytherin rumors anyway. I mean, why would you trust people like Snape and Malfoy when they have so much grease on their heads that it looks like an oil spill?" Lily laughed again. Why was Arabella doing this? She didn't even know her, but she was still here, trying to cheer her up. Why would such a popular girl like Arabella want to be friends with such a freakish clod like herself? 

"You're missing class." Lily stated coldly, trying to forget how pleasant Arabella was being. This had to be a joke or prank. Watch, she'd see. Tomorrow everything would be back to normal, and Arabella would be making fun of her for anything she had said. Maybe if she was mean to her, she would go away and leave her alone.

"I don't much like transfiguration anyway. I'm not a genius at the subject like you are. Heck, I'm not half as smart as you in _any_ subject. School is not my strong point."

"But you get perfect marks!" Lily asked in awe, forgetting her plan.

"Yeah right! I've never gotten perfect marks in m life. An outstanding grade every once in a while when I put a ton of effort in, but for the most part I'm average."

"That isn't right." Lily mussed under her breath. "You're perfect! You're supposed to have perfect grades, perfect hair, perfect robes, and a perfect personality!"

"I'm no where near perfect. Hey Lily, I thought you liked to observe people? How come you didn't notice before? I mean, I'm in the common room every other night asking for help on homework."

"I didn't think you were serious when you said you needed help. I just thought… I don't know." Lily paused. "Wait! Who says I like to observe people?"

"I don't know. Everyone. I mean, you're always watching us in the common room, but you never join us. You know, you really should have a little bit of fun in your life. It's good for the soul, don't you know!" Arabella smiled and giggled. Lily gave a half smile.

"I don't want to join. Besides, you guys don't need a freak like me to drag you down."*

~~~Just a little thing: I know a lot of people say that James is supposed to be good in transfiguration and Lily at charms, but that was never really specified in the books. That means I have freedom to change it for my fanfic as I see fit. I don't believe in disclaimers… I think that's taking these fanfics too seriously- they're all in good fun! REVIEW! Much love, Vixen~~~


	10. Can I Do That?

Chapter Ten: Can I Do That?

*"Who said you were a freak? Was it a Slytherin? I want to know how that damned rumor got started, because it's not true at all!" Arabella made to stand, ready to pound the stuffing out of a few imaginary enemies. 

"It wasn't a Slytherin. It's just… obvious I thought. I mean, look at me. I'm so ugly. No one has red hair these days… and my eyes? They're so green they look weird. And I'm fat on top of it."

"You are skinnier than a rail! Lily, if I didn't see you eating in the dining hall, I would almost think you were sick with an eating disorder or something. You're so skinny! You really should eat more and stop worrying. As for you're hair and eyes? Lily, you could be gorgeous! But you're so pale with all that makeup… don't you ever wonder what color your skin really is?"

"It's peachy, like everyone else's. I'm not a vampire you know."

"I know. But what made you start dressing like that anyway?" Lily flushed. Should she tell her? Arabella was very nice… and Lily could tell from all her years of _observing_ people that the girl was being sincere. But James was sincere when he spoke too, and she hadn't told him… But Arabella was a girl after all…

"I guess I started dressing like this because I was told I was a freak so much back home that I thought 'why not look the part too?' So I started to."

"But this isn't home! You can change who you are here! I mean, I've been talking to you for twenty minutes and as far as I can tell, you're normal, probably more so than most of the other girls here!"

"Yeah, sure."

"Lily, seriously. You are one of the nicest people I've talked to in a long time."

"What about your friends? They must be…"

"Cady, greedy, and selfish, like most of the other popular girls here at Hogwarts."

"What? Arabella, you're pretty nice. I didn't think I would like you at first, but now… anyway. You're the one who _makes_ those girls popular in the first place! How can they not be as nice as you?"

"They start out nice. But then they just… change. The social limelight does that to you. And after a while, other people see their snippy personalities come out, and then those girls are washouts again. I'm going to be one of them soon enough, I know that. I'm just bidding my time."

"I don't see why you would change. Aren't you happy as you are?"

"Of course. I like me."

"Then why change?"

"It's just the way things are. Ultimately it'll happen."

"Only if you let it." They sat in silence for a moment. Arabella was thinking over what Lily had said. She was right. All her life she had been the same, and people liked her for what she was now. Why did she need more? To get more she would have to change, and when she changed, she would lose everything. But as she was now… she was perfect. Why had it taken her so long to realize that? 

"Hey Lily? Can I ask you something?"

"No promises you'll get an answer."

"Alright. Will you tell me, are you happy as you are?"

"I can't be anything else."

"How do you know? Have you ever tried?"

"Tried?"

"Tried being something else! I mean, if you aren't happy being a… freak, which, by the way, I don't think is true, anyway, if you aren't happy being a freak, why don't you change that?"

"Can… can I do that?"

"There's no rule book that says you can't!" Arabella laughed. Lily looked at her, her jaw open slightly. Was that right? She could change herself? No! No matter what she had done back home she had always been a freak. Petunia had told her that. 'No matter how much you try to fit in, you'll always be a freak! Don't bother trying!' Her sister's words still rang true in her ears. She couldn't change because nothing would help.

"Even if I changed, it wouldn't change the freakishness about me." Lily finally announced.

"But there _isn't_ any freakishness!" Arabella watched Lily shake her head in disbelief. Reaching down, she grabbed Lily's hands. "Ok. Lily Evans, you listen up. Who is the leader of the most popular group of boys in Hogwarts?"

"The Marauders and James." Lily answered, unsure of what Arabella was trying to pull.

"And have you spoke to James?"

"Yes. But it was because we were working together to help someone else."

"Have you spoken to him about other things at other times?" 

"Yes…"

"Alright. Do you consider him a friend?"

"A good acquaintance, yes."

"Fine. And what about the so-called most popular girl in our year? Who is she?"

"You of course."

"And where is she sitting right now?"

"Next to me."

"And am I your friend?"

"Another good acquaintance."

"That's it! Lily! You're friends with the most popular people in the school! Why would popular people like James and myself be friends with a freak?"

"I don't know… you're the one sitting next to me making no sense. Why don't you answer that yourself?"

"It's because you're not a freak! James and I can both see that you're a very sweet person who's been given a very hard time at this school and doesn't deserve it. We want to be friends with you Lily!"

"It just doesn't make any sense." Lily shook her head. Arabella sighed and relaxed against the wall. 

"It doesn't have to Lil."

"Lil?" Lily blushed.

"Don't like it? I think it's cute. Think about it. You can start hanging out with my friends and me. It'll be Bella, Eva, Kat, and Lil."

"Do all your friends call you Bella?"

"Most of them."

"May I ask you something then?" Lily asked, unable to resist the question. She had always wondered…

"Yeah, ask away!" Arabella chirped, happy she was finally breaking through to Lily.

"Why doesn't anyone ever call you Ara? I like it more than Bella."

"Ara! I've never thought about that! It's cute! Tell you what; you and you alone can call me Ara. And I'm going to call you Lil, but everyone else has to call you Lily. Deal?" Lily thought on it for a moment.

"Deal."

"So then Lil? Why don't you come to Hogsmead with the girls and I? We'll prove to everyone the rumors are just that… rumors."

"I don't know…We do have a potions exam the next day, and that is my worst subject."

"James can help you study when we get back- he's a potions genius!"

"He's failing the class Ara!" They laughed at the thought.

"Regardless. You know he's only failing because he hasn't turned in any of the homework or taken any of the exams. He can still whip up any potion he's given without so much as breaking a sweat. It drives me crazy to watch him in class sometimes… I get so jealous he's so good. But then I look over at Sirius, who's usually torturing the spiders or frogs, or playing with the ingredients, and laugh. They are _such_ a classic pairing."

"You've liked Sirius for a while now." Lily softly added, blushing as she said it. Arabella flushed too.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Only to an observer like me." Lily shyly smiled. Arabella laughed.

"Well then, if that's all… James knows too. He said he would put a in a good word for me. But if it doesn't work out with Sirius, oh well. There's always other fish in the sea."

"My mother used to say that to my sister." Lily frowned. 

"Which do you not like, your mother or your sister? Every time you mention your family you get so sad."

"I love them both." Lily went bright red, and Arabella could see the blush through the heavy white makeup that covered Lily's cheeks. 

"Well, if it's any consolation, before my cousin got married, we used to fight a ton! She was living with us at the time. But I know what it's like to fight with a family member."

"Hmm." Arabella sensed this was a delicate topic for Lily and decided to change it up.

"So you _are_ coming then?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Great! We'll have a ton of fun! And you'll have to come to Zonko's Joke Store right when the Marauders get there… they caused so much havoc in it last time that they were kicked out. It was hilarious to watch."

"Yeah. James usually has the best pranks. I love to watch them- especially when they're played on the Slytherins."

"Really? You never laugh though!"

"I _think_ about laughing."

"Not the same thing Lil!"

"James told me a prank is coming up. I can't wait… I could use a good laugh today."

"Will a good laugh make you believe in love Lily?" A new voice entered their peaceful scene.

"James!" The two girls chorused. 

"Hey! He isn't the _only_ one here! We would like some recognition too!" Whined a voice from behind James. Sirius grinned doggishly, while Remus and Peter just grinned. 

"Lady Lily, Bella, I don't know if you two know these fools. I mean, you've never been properly introduced, right?"

"Right!" Arabella winked. Sirius whistled. 

"How did I miss someone like her Prongs?" He joked.

"I don't know. You've had your head up your-"

"James!" Remus barked. "Watch your language, there are ladies present." He smiled too, and all of them laughed but Lily, who simply smiled slightly.

"Anyway. Lily, Bella, this is Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Guys, Arabella Figg and Lily Evans."

"Thanks for the intro Prongs." Sirius slapped James on the back. "I'm glad to get to know Bella here. But I think you've forgotten, we all rode with Lily on the train ride here."

"Oh." James said absent-mindedly. "I forgot."

"That's alright James. You forget a lot of thing with that small brain of yours." Remus joked. Laughter again.

"As I was saying…" James began. "Lily, will a good prank make you believe in love?"

"No." She replied coldly. Then she gave a very faint smile. "But it would help to make me happy." James let loose a light chuckle. 

"Alright then. A prank dedicated to you, lovely Lady Lily." He watched Lily blush and try to stand up. Arabella followed in suit. 

"James, did you hear that Lily agreed to go to Hogsmead this weekend if you help her study for the potions exam?"

"I don't know… that's asking for a lot there Bella."

"She's never gone before."

"Never… Never!" Peter let out a low whistle. 

"I never had any reason to go. But Ara talked me into it."

"Ara?" Remus snickered. Arabella rolled her eyes.

"My new nickname. And only Lil can call me that. And no one else can call her Lil either."

"That's fine. She's my Lady Lily, I don't need to call her Lil." James winked. 

"James…" Lily whispered embarrassed. What had she gotten herself into?

)(

That evening Lily was officially welcomed into the 'normal' side of the social hierarchy as she sat in-between both James and Arabella. No one said anything, but a few select people edged as far away as they possibly could. 

Half way through dinner, James looked over at Sirius, who nodded and grinned. Together they prodded both Remus and Peter, who grinned and nodded back. First James began muttering a few words, his wand swishing below the table. Next Sirius joined him, then Remus, and Peter too. They spoke faster and faster, until they finally stopped. Then they looked at each other, and grinned. Mission, complete.

"Lady Lily?" James whispered in her ear, causing her to blush like mad.

"Yes?"

"There's your prank, dedicated to you." Lily looked up across the room at the Slytherin table and gasped. Clapping her hands over her mouth, she could hardly contain her smile. Every single Slytherin had the tail of a squirrel and a high-pitched voice like someone on helium. And on the back of every single one of their robes was a new design, a white lily flower. 

"Remus did the tails. Sirius did the voices. Peter set the spells to last till tomorrow at noon, and I added the lilies. You like?" James laughed. He watched as Lily's green eyes sparkled as they lit up in mirth and enjoyment. The corners of her mouth tilted up, and se broke into a fun grin. James' heart stopped. 

She was gorgeous when she smiled like that! Her entire face lit up and the corners of her green eyes crinkled. She had a small dimple on the left side of her cheek, barely visible unless she was really grinning. Her ghostly white face was vailed in a light pink hue, telling James she was blushing deeply. He loved to see her this happy. It made his whole heart light to know he had been the one to bring the beauty beside him a happy moment at a dim time in her life. She would be a good friend, and James promised himself he would return the favor. *

~~~This is MUCH longer than I had expected. I honestly thought by the tenth ch I would be wrapping it up, but no! There's still more! REVIEW PLEASE! Much love, Vixen~~~


	11. Clothes, Pranks, Makeup, and Candy

Chapter Eleven: Clothes, Pranks, Makeup, and Candy

*"…But now I'm not sure whether I really want to go or not. I mean, what if I make a complete fool of myself? What if I hurt someone, or…" The light voice was filled with worry and nervousness.

"You stop right there! Now then, I thought you were a freak." The gruff voice answered. 

"I am."

"Then if you're already a freak, there's no way to go down any lower, you can only go up!" 

"Oh Hagrid!" Lily had to shake her head in silent amusement. No matter the situation, Hagrid was always able to help her find the good in it. Or in this case, at least make her smile. But she ha to admit that this time what he had said made sense. If she was already at the bottom of the social hierarchy, she couldn't go any lower. But if Ara and James already liked her for her, did she really want to change at all? 

"Lily?" Hagrid broke her thoughts. 

"Hmm?"

"What do you think of James?"

"James? What for?"

"In general. What do you think of him?"

"He's nicer than I thought. Both he and Ara are very nice. I was glad, though, to learn they were so different- it is rather nice to feel wanted."

"You've always been wanted Lily."

"No Hagrid, not always…" A knock interrupted them.

"Hey Hagrid! Is that lovely Lady Lily in there?" James' head popped in through the crack in the door.

"I'm here James. Did you all get in trouble with McGonagall for your prank last night?"

"Detention. She can't do much else anymore. I don't even think she wants to _try_ to do much else anymore. She has to do it for appearance's sake, of course, but other than that… she's given up on us Marauders. Besides… we were a lost cause to begin with!" James laughed. Hagrid gave him a dubious glare.

"James! Are you giving old McGonagall a hard time again?" 

"No Hagrid, not me. Never me."

"A lie is one thing, but sarcasm is another." Hagrid boomed, his eyes dancing.

"Of course." James grinned widely. "Anyway. Lily, come on! Ara and I have been looking all over for you! It's time to go!"

"But James, it's eight thirty! Why so early?" Lily asked softly.

"Something about needing to maximize your time for the three S's."

"S's?" Hagrid asked.

"Hey, don't shoot the messenger! Come on!" James grabbed Lily's hand and began to drag her along.

"James, I…"

"Lily, today you'll have fun, I promise." Lily stood a moment longer in hesitation. The she looked up and her eyes met James'. His eyes were so imploring, so gentle and pleading. How could she ever refuse him?

"Alright. Let's go." She whispered.

"Great!" James whooped. He dragged Lily out the door and all she could do was wave goodbye to Hagrid, unsure of where James would drag her next. They walked around the wall of the castle until they came to the front, where they saw the group waiting for them. 

"There you two are! We were getting worried! Come on Lil! We need to go to maximize our three S's!" Arabella laughed as she grabbed Lily's hand from James. 

"What are those three S's again?" Lily asked confused.

"Shopping, splurging, and spilling of course!" Eva, Arabella's friend stepped forward, Kat right behind her. 

"Come on Lily!" They cried together. Then they laughed and all four of the girls set off on the road, the guys of the Marauders walked amicably behind them. Soon the eight reached the outside of the town, and Lily's jaw dropped. 

The only wizarding town she had ever seen was Diagon Alley, and this was twice what that had been. All around her people hustled and bustled, all in witches' and wizards' garb. The stores were larger than the Alley's, and there were more choices. Lily recognized a few students from Hogwarts inside of the pub called 'Three Broomsticks', and a few more that were hanging around just outside of it. A few other stores popped out at her, Zonko's, and Melphina's, and, of course, Magical Make-ups and Costumes, the store Ara and her friends had been so worked up over. She had only heard the names of the other stores a few times before. 

"Wow, it's packed today." Remus muttered.

"No problem! I bet it'll clear out once everyone hears we're in town!" Sirius announced. 

"Why would it do that?" Lily whispered to Ara.

"Last year the boys set off a stink bomb in the center of the town. It stunk so bad that the whole town closed shop for a day and the Ministry had to send out a clean up crew."

"No!"

"Yes!" James laughed as he confirmed it- he had overheard Ara's explanation and was more than willing to take credit for the work. "Those were the good days, eh boys?"

"Well, until we got punished anyway…" Peter grumbled. 

"Peter, there is nothing wrong with getting punished once in a while. It keeps us humble." Remus grinned wildly.

"Keeps _you_ humble. I got punished and I didn't even help set off that bomb." But no one really listened to his whining. 

"Let's go to Melphina's first! They just got in a new shipment of robes, and I can't wait to see the styles!" Eva babbled.

"Clothes?" Sirius moaned. "What is _with_ girls and clothes?"

"We wear them to look good for you." Ara explained sweetly to him. 

"You'd look better to me without them on." Sirius grinned and practically drooled.

"You'll only be that lucky, Mr. Black, if we get married." Ara teased him and winked. 

"A girl with morals? I hate those… I don't like to wait!" Sirius groaned.

"Then don't." Ara began walking away, swaying her hips as she did. "But don't expect any of this either." She called back. As Sirius swore, the other three guys around him laughed.

As they stepped into the boutique, a throng of three saleswomen greeted them. They prodded the four girls and left the four boys in the dust. The guys all grabbed seats on the floor and settled in, discussing their latest plans for a prank. The girls, on the other hand, were being dragged around the store, being shown robes, picking colors, and trying things on. Robe after robe was either decided for or against, and soon three of the four girls had two new robes each. 

"Lily, come on! Let us see the robe!" Kat yelled into the dressing room.

"I'm not coming out!" 

"Please Lily?" Eva yelled.

"No!"

"Why not?"

"It looks horrible!"

"Please?"

"No!"

"Lil…I'm coming in there!" Ara yelled through the curtain. Then she pulled it aside and stepped into the tiny dressing room. "Oh Lil…"

"Is it that bad?"

"No! It's gorgeous! You have to get that robe! For the formal ball this year, or some other special occasion. It's beautiful on you. The cut and color are perfect."

"But it's…"

"Perfect. Here now, take it off and give it to me. I'll go buy it while you change."

"Ara…"

"No buts! Let's go Lil!" Lily took one look at her newest friend's adamant face and nodded. Without speaking, she took off the robe and handed it over. As she put her other school robes back on, she could hear Ara getting checking out. Shopping was tiresome and wore her nerves out something terrible, and they had only been here for two hours!

"Are you four ladies done yet?" Peter asked for the guys.

"Yes, we're done here." Eva told them happily.

"Now onto Zonko's!" Sirius and James yelled together. Remus laughed and Peter merely grinned. As they entered the joke store, the girls plugged their noses. Obviously there had been an accident with dung bombs sometime earlier in the week, because the place still reeked of the stench. 

"What are you guys looking for? Anything in particular?" Kat asked.

"No. Just some boring prank supplies." Peter told her. 

"Hey look at this! It's new! Called the 'Do-it-Yourself Powder Set'" Remus held up a thick box. "It gives you ingredients and directions to making itching powder, sneezing powder, laughing gas, and tear gas."

"That's pretty good. We could do a lot with that." Sirius looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Here's a good one: 'Ooffal Wooffal'." James looked proud.

"What's that one for James?" Ara asked. 

"It, in short, will make the person who drinks it bark like a dog for three days." Laughter ensued. A few moments later and they were done in Zonko's. The boys had been ready to pull a prank inside the store, but at the last minute cancelled it. They didn't want to be banned from the store yet this year; there was still a lot of time left. As they headed back out into the crowded streets, they went over to the Three Broomsticks. 

They got a small booth in the back of the room and managed to squeeze into the benches. To be cliché, they all decided on butterbeer. Well, Lily had wanted water, but James had convinced her otherwise. Once she had gotten her first taste of butterbeer, he had said, she would understand why everyone made such a big deal about it.

"So where to after this?"

"The Magical Make-ups and Costumes store." Eva said decidedly. "We're going to give Lily a makeover."

"We are?" Lily whispered.

"Absolutely." Kat nodded. 

"And I was just getting used to the heavy makeup." Remus frowned. 

"We're only going to do it if Lil says yes though." Ara shot looks at her friends. They shouldn't want to change Lily so much. It was too bad they couldn't like her as she was.

"Well Lily?" Eva asked. "Can we?"

"I don't know." Lily bowed her head. 

"Lil, come here." Ara pulled Lily out of the booth and to the side, away from the others. "Look. You don't have to do this if you don't want to. Lily, no matter how you dress, you'll still be you. That's what I like about you, and that's what James likes about you. If you want to change your appearance, that's fine. Just don't let it change you. We like you more as a 'freak' than as what those two twits want to change you into any day."

"Lady Lily?" James joined them. "What's going on?"

"I'm just explaining to her that we like her no matter how she looks."

"I can help with that! Lily dear, your gorgeous as you are. Don't change yourself to fit in. Besides, I hear being normal is vastly overrated."

"Lily?" Ara asked.

"I understand what you guys are telling me. But you should know, I'm a freak. No matter how I look I'm always going to be a freak. So it doesn't matter what those two girls want to do to me, because I won't change. I can't."

"Lily." James and Ara sighed together. Some day they were going to convince their friend otherwise. They just watched as she shrugged.

"Ara, you might as well let your friends do their worst."

"Alright." The three of them re-joined the table. 

"So?" Chorused the two other girls together.

"She says it's alright." Ara answered for Lily. 

"What!" Sirius and Remus yelped. All heads turned to look at them. 

"Sorry. It's just that we like the way Lily looks. She's sweet in personality and tough in style." Sirius put his arm around Lily, who was now sitting next to him. 

"I'm with the idiot on this one. Lily, we like you for you. Don't go trying to change to fit in, you already do as you."

"I'm not going to change. I promise. There's not really a way to get rid of freakishness in nature." Lily told them, flushing bright red. They all seemed so dead set against her changing. Did they really like her just as she was? But why would the most popular people in school like such a freak? She was so weird compared to them. What James had said about normalcy couldn't be true… could it? No, she didn't suppose it could.

"Speak for yourselves. Her eyes creep me out." Peter mumbled under his breath. Lily overheard him, and nodded. She was a freak all right. No matter what.

"Shut up Peter!" Ara elbowed him harshly. "That was rude!" And she left it like that.

"Look. Why don't you all go into the makeup store without us guys? I personally feel like taking a trip to the Shrieking Shack." Sirius almost looked serious. Remus looked at him and nodded.

"I'm going to come with you."

"Don't leave me out." Peter chorused.

"James?" Lily asked. She didn't want to be left with only the girls. As much as she almost trusted Arabella, it was safer to be with both her and James. Or only one of them.

"I'll come with you Lady Lily, wherever you want to go. Remus?"

"That's fine James." Remus gave his friend a large smile. He was happy James wasn't quite so worried about his condition anymore. Watching James smile made him feel good. He almost wanted to laugh. 

When he had first met James, he hadn't wanted to trust him with his secret. But James had somehow found out, and ever since then he had been very supportive, often Remus' only companion during the transformations. That was until they had met Sirius, and then Peter and become animagi of course. After that things had gotten better. Still, on nights when he transformed and both Sirius and Peter had dates, James was the one to blow off whatever he had going on for him. 

And now, to finally see James less preoccupied with him and more interested in a girl, particularly with Lily, Remus was happy. It would be good for Lily. James was a great person, a good and true friend who was supportive and understanding and never minded helping others. It was just what Lily needed right now. And for some reason, Remus thought, James needed Lily. What for, he wasn't sure. But he knew he needed her.

"Well then ladies. Looks like I'll be joining you in the makeup store." James squirmed a bit at the thought of makeup, but tried to smile. For Lily. 

"Ara, why don't you and the others go to the store? I don't really want to be there when they pick out how to 'change' me." Lily said quietly.

"Are you sure Lily? You don't want to supervise it?"

"I don't know enough to anyway. I trust you."

"Alright then." Finished with their drinks, they stood and prepared to leave. The wind outside had picked up, and it was getting rather chilly. The three guys that were leaving for the Shriek Shack departed quickly, and then the girls managed to get going soon afterwards. James and Lily were left standing alone, with nothing to do.

"Where do you want to go Lady Lily?"

"I don't know." She looked down at her feet and muttered.

"Well, you've never been to Hogsmead before, so do you want to go back to the… clothes store?" James shuddered as he said it. But if Lily wanted to, he would.

"No. I'm not one for clothes."

"Ok. There's a bookstore, or the owlery, or the Hogsmead Gringott's branch, or Honeyduke's Sweet Store, or the Potions Unlimited…"

"Sweets?" Lily brightened.

"Yeah. You like candy?" James watched as Lily smiled a tiny smile and nodded vigorously. "Great! To Honeyduke's we go!" He laughed, happy that he had pleased her and found something that he liked at the same time.

Two hours later Lily and James began their trek back to the Hogwarts castle grounds. They were eating their candy and talking. Well, James was talking and Lily was eating. But in a strange way they were both content with the arrangement. James had learned in the last few hours that Lily was a chocoholic. She couldn't get enough of the stuff. She liked almost all of the same candy he liked, and both of them didn't like the exact same stuff. It was almost laughable how similar their tastes were. 

James had almost gotten her to laugh, too. That had become his goal for the end of the year: make Lady Lily laugh. Her smile was pretty, gorgeous even, so her laugh could only be better. Besides. It was good for a person's health to laugh. James had discovered that from Remus. Remus had been so sick when they had met, but after only a little while of knowing each other, Remus had gotten healthier and happier. James could only hope for the same great results with Lily. He wanted to bring her out of her shell, teach her she was a beautiful person, inside and out, and dispel her mythical beliefs that she was a freak. And he would, too. *

~~~Hey! If you couldn't tell, this was a filler chapter to kind of transition… yeah. Anyway, the next ch will be more exciting. I don't like being this boring! And vain… this whole ch is so… valley girlish! Not my usual style. Oh well. Much love, Vixen~~~


	12. Time Flies

Chapter Twelve: Time Flies

*Both Halloween and Christmas had come and gone. The year was drawing to a close, and with no new major events going on in Hogwarts; the students were going bored out of their minds. The only things left in the year were the final quidditch match- Gryffindor versus Slytherin, naturally- and their OWLS. The game was looked forward to with great anticipation, where as the exams… well, everyone was trying hard to forget them. 

Everyone, that was, except for four very studious students. Every night three of them, Lily, James and Ara, would spend half of their free time in the library studying and working away. Occasionally they were joined by Andrea, who would be asking for help on one thing or another.

Both Eva and Kat were officially gone from their 'group', and a nasty rumor was circling that it was for their mutual dislike for Lily Evans that Arabella had dumped them. But that was only rumor, just speculation… Since then Arabella hadn't taken any new 'trainees' for the social hierarchy either. Lily and Ara had become close friends sometime after their first Hogsmead day when they found themselves alone in the Gryffindor common room and ended up chatting away while it rained outside. It was that day that they had really solidified their friendship.

)(

"Hey Lil. I haven't talked to you in a while. What's going on?"

"Not much. I kind of thought you'd forgotten about me."

"Lil, you eat with me at meals everyday!"

"We don't speak…"

"Because we're busy stuffing our faces with food!" Ara laughed. Lily had to smile at the girl's infectious good mood. "So what's going on Lil?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me about it. And we have the OWLS coming up… I'm not going to do very well this year I'm afraid."

"You will Ara, I know it."

"Well, maybe. But it'll take some serious studying." Lily paused, as if she were thinking hard about something.

"I'll help you if you'd like." She whispered quietly.

"Really? Oh Lil, it would be great to have help! Especially from you! Not only are you smart, but you're great at explaining things."

"No…"

"Don't even think about denying it! You know it's true." She watched Lily blush and laughed. In the few weeks she had known her, Lily still hadn't laughed. James had announced one night it was his goal, that by the end of the year he would make Lily laugh. Unfortunately, he had yet to succeed. At least she smiled more now. Of course, her heavy makeup still hid her true face from people, so not many saw it. That reminded her of something.

"Hey Lil, I was just thinking. You know I still have that makeup in my room from Hogsmead?"

"Oh?" Lily asked, getting slightly jumpy. 

"Yeah. I'll give it to you one of these days, just so you'll have it in case."

"You don't want to make me over?"

"Like Eva and Kat tried to force you to that one night I went out with Fletcher?"

"Well."

"I'm not them Lil. I wouldn't ever do that. You know that, right?" Ara looked almost hurt that Lily didn't believe her, and Lily felt slightly guilty.

"Of course I know that Ara." She whispered. Ara put on a happier expression.

"Say Lil? Will you tell me why you think you're a freak? Where you got the idea for the dark makeup?"

"No where, really. Just something I picked up is all."

"But there must be some reason… Lily, you can trust me you know."

"I know." Lily gulped. "As much as I tried to deny it, I do trust you. You and James, and even Sirius and Remus a little."

"So why won't you tell me?"

"I'm just a freak. My sister Petunia tells me that no matter what I do, I'll always be a freak. I guess she's right. I mean, at first I didn't believe her, but then, one night, something happened to me, and ever since then, I've just always _known_ I was a freak. She was right after all. I tried so hard to fight it, to change and not be a freak, but nothing I ever did was good enough, so I finally just decided to start dressing like a freak too. This way I'm a freak who's recognized as one."

"Lily! Your own sister made you believe that you're a freak?"

"No, she just pointed out what was already there."

"That's horrible! It's also completely false! You are not a freak!"

"So you keep saying." Lily simply humored Ara. 

"Oh Lily. Does James know this yet?"

"James?" Lily looked scared. "No… I haven't told him yet. I don't want to either."

"Why not?"

"As much as I trust James… I just… I'm scared. I can't do it, not yet. Ara, promise me you won't tell anyone! Please!" Ara looked at her friend. She looked so scared and desperate. But why didn't she want James to know?

"Alright Lil, I promise not to tell James."

"Thank you Ara." Lily smiled a genuine smile.

)(

Since then they had become inseparable. Except by the Marauders. All six of them had built up a friendship, and Arabella and Sirius were beginning to show more of a substantial interest in each other.

The day of the last OWL exam came and went, and soon all that was left in the year was the final quidditch game. 

"So Lily, are you going to the last quidditch game of the year?" Remus asked her good naturedly as he joined her in the common room.

"Yes." She sighed slightly.

"You sound so enthusiastic about it!" Remus yelled and laughed, trying to pump her spirits up.

"Ara is dragging me." She answered, a slight frown tugging at her lips. She hated crowds. Or she hated being in them anyway. Watching them from afar was fine, but being shoved around and practically run over didn't much appeal to her.

"Quidditch is fun though. It's not so bad once you're sitting down."

"Ara wants to cheer on Sirius. Says he's going to make three goals."

"And James? You going to cheer James on?" He watched as the light blush crept to her pale cheeks.

"What's this about cheering me on?" James asked as he walked into the room. "Why hello there Lady Lily. You're looking beautiful as ever." He winked. She flushed deeper, and both James and Remus laughed.

"I was asking her if she was going to go to the quidditch game. She says Ara thinks Sirius will score three times."

"And what about me? You don't think I'll do well?" James pouted.

"I think you'll do well." Lily murmured. 

"How well?"

"Very." She stated with a lack in confidence. James looked at her sideways. "Do you realize that this game is the tie breaker between who wins the house cup? Slytherin or Gryffindor?"

"Yes." She whispered. The room became quiet. 

"Well." Remus finally stood, sensing the tension. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight James, Lily."

"Night." They chorused together.

"So Lily. How's life?" James asked as he settled into the armchair across from her near the fire.

"Fine."

"Lily! Why aren't you speaking to me? Did I do something wrong? Hurt you?" Her eyes flew open. 

"No, no. Nothing like that James."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Lily. Why won't you tell me what's bothering you then?"

"James…" She trailed off. "I'm not ready."

"Not ready? Not ready for what? What's going on?"

"I'm not ready to tell you. I'm sorry. I just can't do it!" She quickly stood and ran up the stairs to her dorm, leaving James in a daze. What was he to do now? He wanted so much to be Lily's confidante, the one person she trusted the most, but he couldn't even get her to have a decent conversation with him. And then when he did, she would get scared, tell him she wasn't ready, and back off. This was it! Quidditch game tomorrow or no, James needed to talk to someone… a big, burly someone with an affinity for monstrous animals.

Quickly sneaking back up to his room, James grabbed his father's old invisibility cloak and began his trek. Careful not to disturb Ms. Norris or Flitch the caretaker, he slipped outside the castle walls and into the gardens that held Hagrid's hut. Knocking furiously on the door, he was relieved when Hagrid answered. Slipping inside, he settled down.

"So Lily's driving you crazy?"

"Yes, and I don't know what to do. Hagrid, she's just so shy… I get the feeling she's told Arabella Figg more than she's told me. Why is she so scared of me? What isn't she ready for? She's more confusing than one of Professor Binns' Goblin Wars!"

"And when hasn't a girl been that confusing?" Hagrid grinned and James frowned. "Hagrid, that isn't what I meant."

"I know James. Well, of there's one girl I myself don't understand, it's Lily Evans. She's a stranger case than you'll ever find anywhere else."

"I noticed. But Hagrid, it bothers me that she doesn't trust me. I've been trying to earn her trust all year, but nothing I do seems good enough. I talked to her when no one else would, I worked with her to tutor Andrea White, I went with her to Hogsmead, I even dedicated a prank to her Hagrid. I never dedicate pranks to girls!"

"Lily isn't your ordinary run of the mill kind of girl James. She isn't going to fall over at your feet and beg for you to date her."

"Blast it Hagrid. I don't want to date her! I just want to be her friend."

"Well James, if you want the truth, I think you've cracked through her walls more than you think. Whenever she comes to visit me nowadays, all she talks about is what Ara said that cheered her up and what James did that made her smile. She talks about you constantly."

"So she'll talk about me, but she won't talk _to_ me. Great. That's not what I want."

"Maybe, James, maybe you just need to hold on a little longer. Lily's been more worried lately about her ruddy sister again. That damned git of a girl."

"Who Lily?" James asked dumbly.

"No! Her sister of course James! You do know her sister is the reason she thinks she's a freak, don't you?"

"No. What's this?"

"Lily's the way she is because of her sister's influence of course. I can't imagine why you didn't know that yet."

"She didn't tell me."

"Well now James. You've kept a few secrets from her as well… Remus' secret, your problems with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and a truck load of others."

"Still, she should have told me. Besides, she never asked me about any of those things."

"Did you ask her about her things?" James scratched his head. 

"Maybe. I asked for sure what was bothering her. But other than that…I forget. But I couldn't have, otherwise I would have known that. I'm not that bad with my memory. So her sister's been influencing her? Poor Lily." James shook his head.

"And she still cares for that girl. I don't know why, but she does. Lily's sister is the kind of woman that gives muggles a bad name, but Lily would die for her."

"Maybe that's why she doesn't want to open up to anyone, she doesn't want to be hurt again. But then why would she trust Ara more than me?"

"Maybe because Ara is a girl James. You're strange to her, being a boy and all. Give her some time, she'll come around."

"I hope so Hagrid."

"Here now. Isn't there a game tomorrow?"

"Gryffindor versus Slytherin, last game of the season and deciding factor in who gets the house cup."

"Then what are you out here for? Come on then Jamesie, go to bed so you can catch that damned snitch tomorrow!" Hagrid boomed. James grinned at the large man.

"Alright then Hagrid. Thanks for the talk. Cheer for me tomorrow!" And James pulled the invisible cloak over his head and left.

)(

"Come on Lil! We won't get good seats if we don't leave now!" Ara yelled. Lily hopped out of her dorm room with her hair flowing behind her and one shoe in her hand. The other shoe was half on her foot. 

"The match doesn't start for an hour and a half Ara." Lily grumbled.

"Yes, but seats go fast, especially for this game. Come on then, let's get going. You can put your shoe on when we get there."

"But it's raining outside! My sock'll get wet!" Lily protested. But Ara would have none of that. 

"No big deal. We'll perform a drying charm on it. Or did you forget we're witches?" Ara grabbed Lily's hand and pulled her along down the corridor and out of their common room.

"Fine." Lily moaned, knowing there was no way to stop the freight train Figg. The two girls, one incredibly popular and the other incredibly feared, got a multitude of strange looks as they ran down the halls and outside the castle walls to the quidditch field. True to Ara's guess that seats would already be filling up, people were milling around trying to find places to sit.

"Ara! Lily!" A voice called to them in the light mist of the drizzling spring rain.

"Hi Remus!" Ara called back and waved.

"Peter and I saved you two seats with us up front, come on!" He called.

"Yes!" Ara squealed. "It definitely pays to be friends with the Marauders." She giggled and Lily smiled.

"Most of the time." The two girls grinned again and joined Remus and Peter.

"Morning." Peter greeted them.

"Peter." The two girls calmly answered together. They shot each other looks, and then cried out. "Jinx!" Ara laughed and Lily smiled.

"What?" Peter asked confused.

"Now neither of them can talk until someone calls their names. It's a girl thing." Remus explained laughing good-naturedly. "Now then. What were their names? Cara and Laylay? Or was is Mara and Leelee?"

"I think you mean Ara and Lily." Peter spoke up. Remus frowned at him, but the two girls smiled.

"Thanks Peter." Ara quickly blew him off. "As for you, Remus sweetie." She shot him an evil glare. "How dare you mock us?" And she dove for him just as the announcer began.

"Well, we've had quite an exciting quidditch season here at Hogwarts, and today we have our final match, the deciding factor in the house cups, Gryffindor versus Slytherin!" Ara stopped short and Lily helped her to collect herself and take her seat. 

"And here comes the no-good, losing team of the Slytherin House!" The announcer, a Hufflepuff by the name of Roberto Robbins, continued his speech. From the Slytherin corner of the stands the team zoomed out on their brooms. 

"And now here comes the fabulous team of the Gryffindor House!" In their red and gold colors the Gryffindor team took their side of the field. As they flew past on their brooms, Ara, Remus, and Peter all stood to cheer for them. Ara pinched Lily, who jumped to a standing position and glared at her, then clapped like the rest of the people in their house. They saw Sirius nudge James, then both of them grin and wink. The two players flew directly over to their friends and made crazy faces at them. Remus and Ara laughed, while Peter looked semi-horrified and Lily just took it all in passively. Then they turned around and took their positions, Sirius as a chaser and James as the seeker. 

"And the bludgers are up, followed by the snitch, and now the quaffle, let the match begin!" Roberto cheered loudly over the speakers. *

~~~Sorry everyone! I want to get to their seventh year before I describe some dance or something in detail. It's more fun for me that way, and it leaves you in suspense longer. As for the makeover? The suspense issue again. That's all it is. I am not looking forward to writing this quidditch game out- I'm no good with the terminology, but oh well. If I screw up, forgive me. Just humor me and go with the flow, you'll get the general idea! PLEASE REVIEW! Much love, Vixen! ~~~


	13. Trust Friendship

Chapter Thirteen: Trust Friendship

*The players began to fly about each other, glaring and spiting vile comments as they fought for control of the quaffle. Somehow Sirius managed to get the ball and began racing towards the Slytherin rings, but his throw was blocked by the Slytherin keeper. He looked slightly angry, but backed away and tried to regain the ball. Unfortunately, a well-aimed bludger made him pull short, stalling him from overtaking the Slytherin who currently possessed the ball. The Slytherin chaser who had the ball faked left and then paused, waiting for the Gryffindor keeper to fall for the trick. He did, and then the Slytherin released the quaffle, sending it through the hoops. 

"Slytherin chaser Lucious Malfoy scores! Score is fifty-to-zero!" The Slytherin House let out a large roar of victory, and the Gryffindors all tried to ignore them. Again the Slytherins managed to steal the quaffle from a Gryffindor chaser, and they sped for the hoops. What they didn't see was Sirius come up from beneath them and knock the quaffle from their hold. Another Gryffindor chaser picked it up and passed it to Sirius, who zoomed straight past the Slytherin hoops, only to turn around and send the quaffle backwards through the hoops. 

"And Gryffindor scores! It's a tie, fifty-to-fifty! Sirius Black teaches those slimy Slytherin who's boss on the quidditch field!" The Gryffindors laughed at Roberto's remarks and cheered. Ara screamed as loudly as she could, and even Lily couldn't help get into the spirit and yell out a few encouraging words to their friend.

Once again the quaffle was being tossed about, and suddenly James' eye caught something shining in the dim and wet sky. The snitch! He quickly maneuvered his broom, but saw that the Slytherin seeker was going to reach the snitch before he did. Putting as much extra speed into his broom as he could, James leaned down and tried to catch up. Just as the Slytherin seeker had the snitch in his grasp, the shining orb fluttered to the right and the Slytherin missed it. James' heart soared. Maybe he would be able to get it after all… and then all of a sudden the snitch was gone. It had vanished again. 

Lily, whose eyes had been focused on James for most of the game, saw him begin to move his broom. Her eyes followed the direction he was heading and she caught a glimpse of the snitch. Nudging Ara beside her, she pointed James out, and suddenly they were concentrating on James. Remus, too, caught on to their sudden interest in James.

"Look, the Slytherin seeker is going to get the snitch first!" Remus cried.

"Oh no!" Ara moaned.

"No. No he won't. James'll come through." Lily's eyes never left James.

"Lil, he's not going to make it, the Slytherin seeker is almost there!" Ara whined.

"No. James is going to win, one way or another." Lily whispered. Ara barely heard her, but was surprised at her words. It was very uncharacteristic of Lily to speak as she was. Optimism had never been Lily's strong point. All three of them watched on as the Slytherin seeker dove for the snitch, only to miss it as it dodged to the right and then disappeared. Ara and Remus' mouths dropped and Lily smiled a half smile.

"You're joking." Remus muttered.

"Told you so." Lily smirked. But she could see James' face and knew he was angry with himself for almost losing the game for his team. She felt bad for him, and wanted to tell him not to worry, that everything would be all right, that he would have another chance, one that he wouldn't fail no matter what. She wanted to, but she couldn't. So all she could do was send him looks that told him what she thought, even if he didn't see them, she still felt like she was helping to make a difference.

James whirled his broom around looking for any signs of the missing snitch. He could see nothing. Then again, it was rather hard to see through the light rain and his glasses, which were fogging up and dripping with water. Still, he looked across the quidditch field and caught eyes with none other than Lily. She was looking at him sympathetically, then her eyes changed from ones of sorrow to determination. He knew what she was trying to tell him. And she was right. He would have another chance; he would win this for his team. Nodding more to himself than anything else, he pulled his broom up and soared higher in the sky, searching for the snitch.

Again the quaffle fell into the hands of the Slytherin catcher Lucious Malfoy. So far the score was one hundred to fifty, Slytherin favor, and he obviously intended to keep it that way- until Sirius Black caught on. Then Sirius set his normally smirking mouth into a straight frown and looked at Malfoy with hard eyes. Enough was enough. Sirius managed to put himself in-between Malfoy and the hoops as a sort of roadblock. As Malfoy tried to stop his broom form colliding with Sirius, he dropped the quaffle. At the last second Sirius pulled down and caught the falling quaffle.

He tossed it to a team member, who zoomed to the other end of the field. When Sirius caught his bearings, he followed. Three Slytherin players managed to triple team the Gryffindor with the quaffle. Panicking, the Gryffindor wildly threw the quaffle into the air and prayed for a miracle. God sent Sirius instead. Sirius managed to catch the quaffle and without taking a good look, launched it for the hoops. It went directly through the Slytherin keeper's hands and bounced off the hoop, ricocheting through. 

"And Sirius Black scores for Gryffindor again! The score is tied, one hundred-to-one hundred!" Gryffindors stood in their seats and cheered. The Slytherins across the field could be heard booing them, but they drowned them out by far.

"See? I told you he would score!" Ara jumped up and down.

"You said three times." Remus grinned. "So far it's only twice."

"Two times, three, what's the difference? He _scored_! And he stole the ball from Malfoy. That right there made my day!" The Gryffindors around her who heard her laughed, agreeing completely. That had been the highlight of the game- so far.

James smiled wickedly at his best friend and slapped him a high-five as they rode by each other on their brooms. The look on Malfoy's face had been priceless! Better than any prank by far! James laughed evilly. They were going to win… he could smell victory. And he could see the snitch to his left. The snitch to his left? There it was! He grinned like a maniac and bent over on his broom, zooming in to catch the tiny ball.

The Slytherin seeker had just taken notice of the precious ball as well, and knowing full well he was too far away from James to beat him to it, he called for help. A Slytherin beater heard him and as the bludger drew near, he aimed it at James. 

James could feel the cold, wet metal of the snitch in his numb palm. He could feel the small fluttering of the tiny wings attached to the ball, and then he felt an incredible pain shoot through his upper shoulder and head. He faltered, and as he went down, the snitch nearly slipped through his hand. Only by good grace did he manage to hold on to one of the fluttering wings. He had the snitch!

"And the bludger aimed by the Slytherin beater has hit James Potter, but the match is over! Gryffindor wins! Potter has the snitch! James Potter has the snitch!" And only then did James know what had happened. The bludger… it must have hit him… but they had won… he smiled, then gave over to unconsciousness.

Lily saw the bludger as it neared James and cried out in alarm, alerting Ara and Remus to the problem. All three of them watched as the bludger hit James squarely in the upper shoulder of his right arm as it reached out to grab the snitch. Then the bludger bounced up and hit James roughly in the side of the head before it bounced away. 

"James!" Lily screamed. Ara flailed around a bit before she grabbed the nearly hysterical Lily and held her close as she cried, repeating James' name over and over again.

"Oh crap!" Remus shouted. "James!" All three of them heard Roberto announce that the games was over, that James had managed to catch the snitch even though he had been injured, but none of them cared. 

They stood and rushed down the steps of the stadium seats, trying to get to the field where their friend lay unconscious. The rest of the Gryffindor team was already gathering around James, Sirius being the first to reach him. The rest of the Gryffindor house was cheering, obviously not too worried about the boy who had just won the game for them. Soon Remus managed to push his way through the quidditch players and let Lily and Ara through. Lily fell to her knees, and Sirius, who was cradling James' head, looked up at her. 

"He needs to get to Madame Pomfrey, now!" She nodded and stood. 

"I'm going for Madame Pomfrey. Watch him." She ordered Ara and Remus. They nodded numbly at her, too choked up to speak. Then she pushed out of the crowd. 

"Lily, at least we won." Peter told her as she left.

"But at what cost? James could be seriously hurt Peter."

"We won."

"Think what you like." Lily told him sharply. Then she ran off. 

)(

Everything was black. Then gray. Colors seemed faded, almost as if life was a black and white movie. Then a house. At first the house seemed the picturesque place to raise a family- little blue shutters and a white picket fence. Then the house seemed to grow old and the paint faded, cracked, and peeled. The picket fence was missing portions, and the white was now muddy brown. Rain poured down in torrents, and waves could be heard as they crashed violently against the side of the cliffs. 

And on the cliffs one lone figure stood, wrapped in a dark blanket. The face of the figure was indistinguishable, but the long hair told that it was a woman, girl, who looked out into the tempest. A great feeling of loneliness and angst overcame the atmosphere of the once picture perfect scene. And then the cliffs gave way. Down went the figure, silently, no sound or scream was heard, only the crashing of the waves. 

Just as the silhouette was about to be claimed by the mighty sea, she was gone. Instead of being dragged away by the deep, the girl stood perfectly still on top of the cliffs again, as if nothing had happened. No wand, no apparent magic of any sort. She just apparated back on top of the cliffs, and that was it. The scene that had felt so tragic faded from gray, and then everything went dark black again.

)(

The next time James opened his eyes, color barraged his senses. Blinking, he opened his eyes wider. And then pain. It seemed to seep into his very bones as a dull aching spread through his whole body as he became aware of himself again. He groaned, and his parched throat burned. He was so thirsty!

"James?" A quiet whisper tickled his ear. Unable to speak yet, he moaned again in response. "James!" A warm feeling encompassed him and James relaxed again as a soft pressure move forward and lay atop him. Long, reddish hair fanned out about his chest, and he knew instantly who it was.

"Lily?" He croaked. His jaw hurt like hell. Finally the shaking girl lifted her head, and James saw tears that clouded her jade green eyes and trailed down her flawless porcelain cheeks.

"Yeah." She managed to smile, and James sighed. He loved her smile. "How do you feel?"

"Like I was hit upside the head by a bludger." He told her frankly, managing a smirk. And then Lily gave a quirky and short giggle. And then she laughed. A full-blown, unhindered laugh. James savored the warmth she emitted as she enjoyed her happiness.

"James!" She laughed. "God I've been so worried about you!" She stopped laughing and wiped away the tears that had been falling.

"Hey, you laughed. That's one for the record book."

"James! Is that all you can think about?"

"Hey! I've just been hit by a very hard bludger. I think I deserve to have a few nutty thoughts here and there." He joked. Then he groaned. It hurt to laugh.

"Are you alright? No, of course you're not! You've been out for three days! Let me get Madame Pomfrey and…"

"Lily, relax. She'll come to check on me soon enough, I'm sure. Now then, three days?"

"Yeah. You missed the awarding of the house cup, the final feast, and Sirius and Remus pulled a prank fest on the Slytherins for hitting you with the bludger. Sirius was so angry… I never want to see his eyes that dark ever again. But James, you've been unconscious the whole time! Everyone leaves for home tomorrow, and Madame Pomfrey actually thought she would be keeping you into the summer."

"I missed all that?"

"Yeah."

"Well then, start talking!" He announced.

"About what?"

"How the Slytherins looked when they walked into the Great Hall and saw the Gryffindor banners flying high at the house cup ceremony. And I want details on every one of the pranks Sirius and Remus pulled." 

"Of course." Lily smiled. This was the James she knew. She was glad he was all right. She was more than glad… she was ecstatic! She had been so worried over him. All three days she had sat by him for hours on end, hoping he would wake up. Anyone who wanted to visit James had to go through Madame Pomfrey and then her. The only times she had left was when Madame Pomfrey had practically her out telling her to eat and rest.

It wasn't that Lily was in love with James. It wasn't that she had a secret crush on him. It was the fact that he was her friend. He had been the first one to speak to her and really give her the time of day at Hogwarts aside from Hagrid. James had been there for her, introduced her to Ara and Sirius and Remus. He had put up with her, taken her shopping, trued to make her laugh, and taught her about rule breaking. He was the very first unconditional friend she had ever had, and she didn't think for a minute that it was right that she abandon him while he needed support the most.

"Lily?" James asked. Lily seemed to have drifted off somewhere deep in thought. She looked so happy and bright, not her usual self. Something was different. "Hey Lil!" He called again.

"Hmm? Oh! I'm sorry. What?" She blushed. Some friend she was, drifting off like that.

"You look different." He told her, smirking.

"Oh? Well, I haven't done anything different to myself since the day you were injured… I've been in here mostly. What's changed?"

"You're heavy makeup. It's gone."

"Is it? Crying must have done that. I'm surprised it's not smeared everywhere."

"Nope, it's just all gone. You look happier, lighter. I like it. But I like you're other look too." Lily said nothing, but the bright blush on her cheeks was enough for James. He started laughing.

"What's this?" Madame Pomfrey came strolling into the room. "James Potter! You're awake!" She stuttered. "Miss Evans, I do wish you had come and gotten me."

"I'm sorry Madame Pomfrey, but I didn't think it would be right to leave him unsupervised."

"Well, I do suppose you have a point. Still. I will need you to leave now Miss Evans. I need to give him a full check over before I can decide whether he's well enough to go home tomorrow with the rest of you or not."

"All right then." Lily nodded, slightly sad that she would need to be leaving James now.

"Lovely Lady Lily, have no fear, I shall see you soon." James proclaimed smiling. Lily smiled too.

"Alright then James. Rest up and I'll check on you after dinner." And then Madame Pomfrey hustled her out.

Lily felt as though she were walking on air she was so happy. Entering the Gryffindor common room, she found it deserted. Most likely everyone was at dinner. No matter. She climbed the steps to her dorm room and took a look at herself in the mirror. Quickly she brushed her long red hair out and tucked it behind her ears. Then she re-applied her dark eye makeup and the pale foundation she wore. Much better. Now she looked like her gloom and doom old self.

Practically skipping, she entered the Great Hall and took her usual seat beside Arabella, which cause a few people to raise their eyebrows.

"Lily? I thought you were glued to James?" Remus asked quietly.

"I was until Madame Pomfrey kicked me out." She said smiling.

"Then why you so happy?" Sirius looked doubtful.

"Because he's awake!" Lily practically screamed. Her smile broke into a large grin and her shoulders were shaking with silent laughter. "He's awake and he's fine! He wanted to here how the Slytherins looked during the house cup ceremony and the details on the pranks you played while he was asleep!"

"He what?" Remus and Sirius yelled together. Both of them stood and rushed out of the Great Hall. The other people in the room looked to her and Arabella for an answer, so Arabella stood up.

"James Potter is awake." She announced with a large smile. The whole room burst into applause. 

"How is he?" Someone called.

"He wants to know how the Slytherins feel to be humiliated _again_!" She laughed. The other houses, save the Slytherins, broke into laughter. Lily felt like joining them. Life was good for a change.

)(

The train whistle blew and group of six, the Marauders and two girls, who people had taken to calling the Dynamic Duet as a joke, climbed aboard. They grabbed the last compartment on the train. Peter immediately left to find the food cart, but the rest of them grabbed seats and settled in.

"Can you believe this is how our year started, all of us on this train, only separate?" Arabella asked happily.

"Well, we weren't separate, you were." Sirius grinned at her. "Lily rode with us on the way up because she was kicked out of the other compartments."

"For which I am eternally grateful." James told them. Laughter fell upon the group and Lily shot him a look- that was counteracted by the blush across her cheeks.

"James. I'm simply a freak who got caught up with a bunch of the most popular kids in school." She muttered. "There isn't anything to be eternally grateful for."

"Lily, you are not a freak!" Was the general comment that followed from everyone in the compartment.

"Lily, why do you think that?" James asked quietly. Lily sat in silence for a moment. 

"Because James." She took a deep breath. "Because when I was younger I was told by my sister, Petunia, that I was a freak so many times that I just figured it was true. Why would my own sister lie to me? It took me a while to realize she was right, that I really was a freak, but after I did, I started dressing like one. I mean, if I am a freak, I might as well dress like one so you can tell right off the bat."

"Oh Lily." Ara sighed. Though she had heard the story before, it still hurt her to think that her friend thought that about herself.

"Lily. I understand you love your sister, but you believed that garbage?" Sirius spat. "It isn't right. You're one of the coolest people I know. You aren't a freak."

"I second that. Lily, you're smart and funny and sweet. A freak is someone who doesn't know how to use their heart- like Peter." Remus smirked. 

"Lily, we like you for you. You are not a freak... you're perfect as a matter of fact. We could careless about how you dress; it's your personality that we like. You're my friend, no matter what. Trust us. Trust me. Please." James implored her.

"I was scared to trust you all at first, I was. I saw the pranks you pulled and was scared I would be another target if I let you get close. But after, well, after pretty much everything this year, I do know that I can trust you. I trust you all." Lily said quietly. She looked up and her eyes met James' briefly. A small spark shot through both of them, electricity that had come form nowhere. But as soon as it sparked it disappeared and was forgotten. 

"Well. Now that this is all settled, let's us make a pact. Next year when we return to Hogwarts, we stick by each other, no matter what." Arabella suggested.

"Alright, it's a deal!" Sirius was the first to agree. Remus nodded.

"I'm in."

"Great idea. I'm all for it!" James yelled enthusiastically. "Lily?"

"I would have no life without you all. I'm in!" She smiled slightly.

"Then till next year!" Arabella announced giggling.

"Till next year!" The others cheered. *

~~~OK. Well now. This isn't the end… they've got one more year to go, full of Voldie, betrayal, and… dun dun dun… ROMANCE! I think I've developed the friendships enough, so now it's time for LOVE to commence! Get ready, and PLEASE REVIEW! -Vixen~~~


	14. Free Food!

Chapter Fourteen: Free Food

*As their group exited the train, they dispersed for the summer shouting promises of writing each other and keeping in touch. Peter ran off someone quickly, while Remus, Sirius and James were greeted with two sets of parents.

"Which pair are James' parents?" Lily whispered to Ara, trying to figure it out. Neither of the couples looked remotely like James.

"I don't think either is."

"Arabella!" Ara turned around to see her family. 

"Lily, write me, ok?" She asked quickly. Lily nodded, and they hugged. "Alright then, read you soon, see you next semester!" They smiled.

"See you Ara." Lily waved her off. When she turned around, all of the guys and the parents were already gone. "Great." She muttered. "I didn't even get to say goodbye. I bet they apparated."

"Apparated? Lily-kins, what language are you speaking?" A familiar voice laughed.

"Mom, Dad!" She beamed. They smiled back at her as she lugged her heavy suitcase along.

"Hello dear. How was your school year?" Her mother asked as she caught her daughter in a hug.

"Rather interesting actually." Lily half smiled thinking about all the pranks she had watched and people she had met.

"Lily? It's not like you to smile this much. You must have had a great year." Her dad commented. Lily blushed.

"Nonsense." She mumbled. Her parents laughed at her, but said nothing more on the subject. Their ride home began in silence, but as they neared their street and the smell of the salty ocean began to permeate the air, a new conversation was begun.

"So then I expect you heard Petunia is marrying?" Her mother asked.

"Yes Mom, you wrote me."

"Well, they've bumped the wedding back a bit, but it's still this summer. I think they decided late July. Anyway, Petunia wanted you to be her maid of honor."

"Sh… she did?" Lily stuttered in surprise. Usually her sister wanted nothing to do with her.

"Why of course she did. Once she heard how you were thrilled she was getting married she decided she had to have you in the wedding."

"I never told her I was thrilled… Mom! What did you tell her?"

"Only what you said in your letter; that you were so proud of her and loved Vernon."

"But I've never met him! You lied to her about me." Lily accused.

" 'Lie' is such a harsh word Lily. We prefer embellishing the truth. Besides, it made her so happy. Your dear sister certainly deserves it, what with having to get through high school and then junior college."

"But she hardly passed?" Lily was very confused. Every year her parents got a little stranger, but this was by far the worst year ever. As much as she loved her sister, Lily was not blind to the truth: her sister was a lazy girl who had never worked hard for anything in her life, only begged and conned her way to the top. Lily didn't understand why her parents didn't see it. 

"Your sister happened to managed straight B's her final semester! Now aren't you proud of her? Of course, it was because she and Vernon studied so diligently all those nights…" Her mother stated proudly. Lily blanched. Studied? Ha!

"Yes sir, we have a regular scholar in our house now!" Her father slapped the steering wheel and grinned widely.

"Father? Mother?"

"Oh, don't worry Lily-kins! We already know you're smart… B's and a few A's, right honey?" Lily narrowed her eyes. Her parents had always followed her academic career before. It hadn't been important to them, but it had made them proud that she did so well, and they had _always_ told her that. Before.

"Mother, Father, I've got the top marks in my class, the school even, in everything but charms, and even then I've still got one of the highest marks. Of course I won't know for sure until my OWL exams scores get back, but even if I failed them I would still…"

"That's wonderful dear, really, it is! And tell me. You don't mind sleeping on couch in the den for a little while, do you? Vernon is staying with us for a few days, and he's sleeping in your room… it would be so much easier if he didn't have to move all of his stuff around again."

"But mother! I've been gone all year and it's my room!"

"Lily!" Her father interrupted her. "Look honey. Change is never easy. But right now Petunia is going through a huge transition with this marriage. Vernon is only here for a short time… I'm sure you can deal with this sleeping arrangement for three days, then he's leaving until the wedding- for your sister's sake? Please?" Lily sighed. Their car pulled into a familiar driveway. She didn't have a choice.

"Alright. I suppose, if it's only for a little while."

"Thank you dear. Oh look, there Petunia and Vernon are now. Lily, come meet him!" Lily opened the car door and looked up for her first peek at Vernon Dursely. Then she quickly averted her eyes, not wanting to burn them any longer. 

Vernon Dursely was a large man with a large potbelly. Despite his size, he wore a neat suit… so neat in fact that it made him look odd… all of the sharp angles of the suit contrasted with the pudginess of his body. His puffy cheeks were flushed, as if he had just finished a mile race, and below his nose sat a large mustache of bristly brown hair. Lily could feel his beady eyes travel up and down her, as if he were examining her for some sort of hidden weapon. 

Lily didn't like him. Something was off about him. No, perhaps there was nothing wrong with him, but it was just that she wasn't used to receiving such strange looks. He was looking at her as if she had some disease… a very catching but very interesting illness. 

In the back of her mind Lily heard her father and mother greet Petunia and go in the house, leaving her to carry in her trunk. She turned around for a moment and looked at her trunk. Sighing inwardly, she grabbed the handles and began to pull at it. Turning around so she could see where she was going, she found herself face to face with her sister's fiancé.

"So, you're the witch?" His words hit her full force about a minute after her said them. He knew?

"Yes, I'm the witch. My name is…"

"Lily." A dark silence followed for a brief moment. "Witch. Do you do magic then?"

"Yes… I _am_ a witch." Lily answered innocently. She didn't know where this was going, but she had a feeling she wouldn't like where it ended.

"Witches and wizards and magic… all a bunch of nonsense if you ask me." He scoffed. Lily's jaw dropped. How did she respond to him? She couldn't be rude to her sister's fiancé… her brother-in-law!

"I'm sorry you don't believe." She finally stuttered out.

"I'm sorry you do. Look at you. Petunia was right, you do dress the part. Well, a freak will be a freak, that's what I always say." He patted his stomach.

"Pardon me?" Lily whispered. A… freak?

"A freak will be a freak. You heard me witch. You could be decent if you would clean up a bit though." He looked her up and down again. "Hell, if you washed that makeup off, I'd be in the sack with you tonight if you want." 

"Excuse me? You're engaged to my sister." Lily whispered. 

"So?"

"I have to go." Lily told him feeling nauseous. Leaving her chest where it was, she quickly ran inside the house. Sick man, sick man, sick man… her mind repeated over and over. In the sack tonight… in the sack tonight… So? So? What was wrong with that man? Did he have no decency? No honor? Lily flung herself onto the den couch and buried her head inside the soft cushions.

"Lily? Oh, you're in here!" Petunia sauntered into the room. "Come on out then, let's see you." She ordered. Lily quickly pulled her head out from the cushions and looked at her sister blankly. 

"Hello Petunia."

"So witch. Still with the black makeup I see. You can't wear it for the wedding you know. I won't stand to have you look more freakish than you already are."

"Petunia? Did you have a good school year?" Lily asked, ignoring her sister's sour attitude and trying to start a pleasant conversation with her.

"Of course."

"Are you happy to be getting married?" Lily shuddered as she asked about the marriage. Her sister, the one she loved, was marrying a loser… and if she said something about it, Lily knew her sister would not only never believe her, but hate her even more.

"Of course. Vernon's an awful nice catch, don't you think?" Petunia gushed, forgetting for a moment that she was speaking to Lily, the freak, and just spoke in general. "He's the most handsome man in our district… all the others had no muscle at all! Did you know Vernon can lift a couch? He can! He was the main blocker on the college rugby team… first string too! And he's so smart! A real business type!"

"He seems nice." Lily was smiling. Petunia was being so sweet! She wasn't making fun of her or hurting her… she just talking. This was what Lily had always imagined her sister being like. She had imagined them growing close and sharing a great friendship. And this was the closest they had ever come to realizing that dream.

"He is." Then Petunia looked at Lily. "Just you watch what you say to him. Don't go upsetting him, _freak_, or I'll kill you. The only reason we're letting you be in the wedding is because mother insisted. I could care less."

"Oh." Lily's heart fell. Of course, why else? 

"Petunia, sweetheart, Lily! Dinner!" Their mother's voice echoed through the house. Both girls stood, one with a smug grin on the face and the other an impassive expression. Then they entered the dining room. This was going to be a long dinner.

)(

"Mother! It's three days to the wedding and Vernon's cousin is so sick he can't stand! What will we do for the last usher? My wedding is _ruined_! _Ruined_! I had everything so perfect, and now…" Petunia broke down. 

Lily's heart ached for her sister. She had wanted the wedding to go off smoothly, without a hitch for her sister, but so far nothing seemed to be going according to plans. First off, the white petunias that Petunia had ordered… yes, the pun on the flowers was intended, had shown up four days before schedule- and they were daisies. The florist apologized fervently, but had to tell them that white petunias would be impossible to ship in time for the wedding. 

Then, three days before the wedding, Vernon had gone out with his friends and missed the practice ceremony that had been scheduled. But that wasn't all, oh no. The next problem had been Petunia's dress. She had to have the perfect dress… a long white gown with sequins and ruffles everywhere. And two days before the wedding she had tried it on and, naturally, after it had been tailor made for her, it didn't fit. Last minute fittings had to be arranged, and everyone was just beginning to settle down when the news had reached them.

Vernon's cousin, Adam, was sick. Adam was supposed to have been the best man, and he was not fit to even have visitors, let alone stand and take part in a wedding. So now Petunia sat in the church crying in her mother's arms as her fiancé, father, and worried sister all watched on. 

"Now one of the bridesmaids will have to leave the wedding so that I can have an even number of bridesmaid's and ushers! Oh, this is terrible!" 

"Petunia dear, it can't be as bad as you're making it. We can have Lily walk in alone, and the rest can walk in as couples! That would look just fine…"

"Mother! It's the principal of the thing! I can't do that; it would look tacky and distasteful. What am I going to do?"

"Doesn't Vernon have any other friends he can call?" 

"No!" Petunia shook her head violently. "He doesn't. This is an utter disaster!"

"Petunia, cheer up! Maybe Lily knows someone- a neighbor or friend who would be willing to stand in?" Her father suggested.

"Let Lily choose? That witch will destroy my wedding as it is! I don't need more of her creepiness! Besides. Who would she possibly know? She doesn't even go to school around here."

"She's right. My only guy-friends live in the wizarding world, I don't think they could come here for the wedding." Lily added quietly, not wanting to upset her sister any more.

"Lily, do you or do you not have a guy friend?" Her mother asked.

"I do."

"Call him, owl him, whatever it is you witches and wizards do, get him over here, now. We don't want anything to spoil Petunia's big day." Her mother cooed under her breath.

"But…" Lily stopped. James Potter was the only guy friend she felt remotely comfortable enough to ask for help from, and she doubted he would come. She felt just horrible at the thought of even inviting him, but now to have be in the wedding with her? Well, she would ask and he would say no, and they would never have to worry about it again. "Alright, I'll owl James, but there are no guarantees." She finally told them.

"Really?" Petunia sniffled. "Oh Lily! Will he really come? Oh, everything will be perfect then!" Lily had to smile. It was worth it to see Petunia so happy.

Climbing the stairs to her room, Lily sat at her desk and lightly stroked her pet owl, Selenicereus. She hooted in a pleased response and cocked her head ever so slightly.

"If I give you a message for James, will you deliver it overnight? It's urgent!" Lily cooed to the large bird. Another hoot in response and she hoped it meant yes in owl. Nodding, she took out her parchment and a quill and began to scrawl a letter to James.

"Dear James: I feel horrible about doing this, but I promised I might ask you. As you know, Petunia is getting married. Well, one of her ushers is sick, and now he can't be in the wedding. She is heartbroken because her perfect wedding is going to shambles. Anyway. She asked if I would write you and see if you would fill in. One day, a few hours is all it would take, and you even get free food out of the deal. I feel bad about asking you to give up your summer to help me, but I did promise I would ask. Thank you, no matter what your answer is. Sincerely, Lily Evans."

Reading the letter over, Lily realized how pathetic she sounded. But at this point, wasn't that what she was? Well, no matter James' answer, everything would eventually turn out alright. Tying the letter to Selenicereus, she opened the window and let her loose. 

"Go on then. James Potter, go!" As Lily watched the owl disappear into the night, she lay down on her bed and fell asleep, dreaming that one day her own prince charming would come along and sweep her off her feet, and then they would have a wedding that they would have problems to deal with and a life to look forward to afterwards.

As the bright sunlight cast sunny rays down upon her, Lily blinked her eyes open. And then she promptly screamed. Shooting up in her bed, she was left to catch her breath as a very familiar figure laughed his head off at her reaction.

"Lovely Lady Lily, you have quite a set of lungs!" James laughed.

"James! What are you doing here?" She hissed.

"You wrote and it sounded urgent, so I came." He replied easily, shoving his hands in his pockets and sitting down in her desk chair. "Besides. Even if it hadn't sounded urgent, you didn't tell me a date, and what if it was tomorrow? I don't think Selenicereus would have been up to making that many quick flights in such a short amount of time. This way I'm here when you need me, no worries."

"Oh James." Lily whispered as she flung herself at him. He laughed and caught her in a huge hug. "Thank you so much for coming."

"No problem. Remember we promised to stick by each other, no matter what? Well, this is me upholding my word." 

"Thank you James."

"Anytime. But Lily? There was one problem. Muggles don't where robes to weddings, do they? Sirius' mother told me they wore monkey suits- then Sirius wanted to come too." Lily had to smile.

"Men wear tuxedos, but they call them monkey suits. I guess the tuxes aren't very comfortable, but I'm not a man, so I've never had that problem. But that's not a problem. We can just tailor Vernon's cousin's suit to fit you."

"Tailor? Why not magic it? Or conjure me up my own clothes?"

"Because you know full well we aren't allowed to do magic outside if Hogwarts yet." She snapped. He laughed.

"Just kidding Lily. Calm down."

"I'm sorry. Here you are, on such short notice ready to help me out, and I'm yelling at you."

"Don't apologize. Come on Lady Lily. I smell food downstairs… besides. I want meet your parents, Petunia, and this Vernon fellow." 

"Figures you'd go after the free food." She grumbled. And he laughed. *


	15. She's Mine!

Chapter Fifteen: She's Mine!

*"Well, I don't know how different a wizarding house is from a muggle house, but…"

"Wow! These photos! They don't move! Not at all huh?"

"James, of all the things I expected you to say, that was not one of them."

"Sorry. I just get carried away sometimes. You know me Lady Lily, always hopping from one idea to the next."

"Well, through that hall is the family room, and through this door is the kitchen, where everyone should be." Lily broke their conversation.

"I can't wait to meet this evil sister of yours Lily. I'm going to…"

"James Potter, you promise me you won't hurt her. Not until after the wedding. Promise!"

"Come on Lady Lily!"

"Promise. Please James?" Lily begged. James looked into her hypnotizing emerald eyes and gulped. So deep, so dark, so enchanting…

"Alright Lily, I promise." 

"Thank you James." And she lightly smiled. At least she knew her sister was safe from his pranks- for the time being. "Are you ready to meet the muggles?"

"Sure!" James snapped himself out of his reverie.

"Just please be careful James. These people, they aren't your average run of the mill kind of muggles. They're different."

"No sweat Lily." She looked at him sharply one more time before pushing on the swinging doors. As both she and James entered the kitchen, James looked around. Gadgets and gismos he'd never seen before filled the room. He could smell wonderful food coking over a hot stove, and the ingredients were out on the countertops. There were four people milling about the room, two sitting and chatting at the table to the corner, and the other two serving them. 

"Mother?" Lily quietly asked for attention.

"Lily? Oh Lily! Good thing you're up dear, I was just going to go call you. Bacon, eggs, and toast for breakfast… who's that dear?" Lily's mother asked with slight interest. It looked as though she was more concerned with the toast.

"Mother, Father, Petunia, Vernon, this is James Potter, my friend from Hogwarts. He came to be the stand in for Vernon's sick cousin." All heads turned towards Lily as she mentioned she has found a stand in.

"Him?" Petunia scoffed. "He's a bit young, isn't he?" James balked inwardly. What a nice girl Petunia truly wasn't.

"He'll do Petunia. Nice to meet you James, thank you for coming on such short notice to help with the wedding." Lily's mother gave James a warm smile and then went back to her toast. 

"Lily, you've saved the day." Her father smiled. "But when did he get here? I didn't hear the doorbell ring."

"I got here last night sir. My friend's father apparated me over here, then left. He's coming back in three days to get me." James answered.

"Apparated?"

"Left one place and instantly transported to another." Lily explained quickly. "He was here when I woke up."

"In your room?" Her father's eyes narrowed. 

"Outside in the hall Father. You must have just missed him coming down here this morning." Lily covered quickly. 

"The real question is, will he be suitable for standing in?" Petunia asked.

"Yes, I'd like to know." Vernon chimed in.

"I'll do my best. I've never been to a muggle wedding… or anything muggle for that matter. See, I'm pure wizard, and…"

"Yes, yes. We know. You're a freak like little Lily-kins over there. Just don't screw up Potter, or you'll get yours." Petunia sneered. Lily gulped, and James felt her squeeze his hand tightly as her sister's comment registered in her mind. Instantly James regretted making the promise not to hurt Petunia. Anyone that spoke like that to Lily was purely vile in his mind. He didn't understand how anyone could be so harsh to Lily- she was so sweet and kind. At least once you got to know her.

"I won't screw up." James promised.

"I'll train you personally so that you don't." Vernon told him authoritatively. 

"Alright." James agreed. Petunia nodded, and she and Mrs. Evans walked out of the room together.

"James, why don't you sit on down?" Lily asked him quietly. "I'll make you some breakfast." 

"Sure Lady Lily. Need any help?" He asked as he settled down on the end of the table to watch her. He knew her father and Vernon's eyes were glued on him.

"No." She whispered. But she couldn't help but smile at the name. "You'll only blow something up."

"I'm not that bad with muggle stuff."

"Electronics are a different matter all together James." Lily chided him, easily slipping into a happier mood. She always did when James was around, that was a given. He just made her happy for some reason, as if everything she had been so worried about slipped her mind and she didn't have to worry because he was there.

"Yeah, that's true. Lady Lily, I don't know what half the machines in here are for. And I thought still pictures were amazing."

"James…" Lily sighed. 

"Still pictures?" Her father inquired. Both James and Lily jumped. They had forgotten about her father and Vernon.

"Yeah. In the wizarding world, all of our photographs move. You know, the people in them."

"How odd. Why?" Vernon asked listlessly.

"Why?" James asked.

"Why would you want pictures that moved?"

"Because. That's just the way we do things I suppose. I never asked why."

"Not very bright, are you boy?"

"James is ranked second in the school." Lily chimed in. There was no way she was going to let Vernon eat James alive if she could help it.

"Only to Lily here, of course." James smiled. Lily was worried about him, he could tell. Her eyebrows furrowed and she had a dimple between them when she was worried.

"Is that so? They must not teach you very well then. Who ever heard of a girl being the smartest? James, you'd better pass her soon, or she'll never learn her place in life. She's a girl who needs discipline, not more thinking skills." James gaped open mouthed at Vernon.

"Pardon me?" He asked incredulously. 

"James, here's your food." Lily came in at the right moment. She had known Vernon would try to pull something like this and though she had tried to warn James, she had also known that sooner or later he would get a rude awakening to what Petunia and Vernon really were.

"Thank you Lady Lily. Why don't you sit down and eat something with me?" James' eyes lightened as he looked at Lily. 

"I don't eat breakfast James, you know that." James grinned.

"I know." And then he reached up, wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled her into his lap. "But I don't see why not? Food is good." Lily smiled. James always did this when he was trying to forget something that was bothering him… he would act extra goofy to try to take his mind off of it. Besides, she didn't mind sitting in his lap; it was harmless.

"Food may be good, James, but I am just never hungry in the morning."

"I know Lily, I'm sorry. Forgive me?"

"Of course." And she stood. "I need to find Petunia and talk to her about getting that suit tailored to fit you. Did you want to stay here and eat? I mean, do you mind if I leave you alone?"

"Go on Lady Lily, I'll be fine. Vernon needs to _teach_ me anyway." He grinned at the double meaning of his words. 

"Alright then. I'll see you later James."

"And Lily?"

"Yes?"

"I like the no make up. It's pretty." She flushed, but said nothing as she walked off.

"Are you and my daughter dating?" Mr. Evans finally spoke up.

"No sir." James looked slightly shocked. Where had he gotten that impression from? Him and Lily? Dating? No. But some lucky guy would get her one day, James knew. She was too good to pass up- and she was a good cook… at least, her cooking smelled good enough for her to be one.

"Then what was that all about? Lady Lily? The lap?"

"Lily and I are just good friends. Our friends are good friends. Lady Lily is a nickname we call her, and the lap… I don't know. Just something we randomly do when we feel like it."

"Randomly do? Something you randomly do? Is that what you kids are calling it these days?"

"Calling what?" Asked James, thoroughly confused. 

"That display…you're calling it just something?"

"Well, err, that's what it was." James scratched his head and took a big bite of food. Oh… his mouth watered. Lily was such a good cook… A very lucky man indeed.

"Hmm." But Mr. Evans said no more. 

"Well, come on them Potter. I'll show you what to do." Vernon sighed as he stood and rubbed his portly belly. 

"Alright then." James nodded as he inhaled the last of the scrambled eggs on his plate. Funny… he wondered how Lily had known he liked his eggs scrambled? He wouldn't eat eggs otherwise, and she must have known that. Hmm. James followed Vernon outside and to a car.

"Is this what I think it is?" James asked in awe.

"That's right, it's a BMW 740i." 

"Huh? I just wanted to know if it was one of those muggle cars?" James scratched his head.

"Yes. Damned witched and wizards. Don't know a damned thing." Vernon mumbled under his breath. "Look here boy. You sit in it and do not make any comments. Understood?"

"Yes sir."

"Good." And off they drove. James was so caught up in the workings of the vehicle that he didn't even notice when they stopped. Finally, it took Vernon shaking his shoulder roughly before he woke up and managed to drag himself out of the car.

"Where are we?"

"The church."

"The what?"

"Church. We'll be getting married here. Come along now, we have a lot to do." Vernon replied stiffly. James followed him and soon he had more to wonder and gaze at. As Vernon began explaining what to do, James' mind drifted away again. Inside the church were huge windows of color glass; stained glass windows Vernon had said. Each had pictures and told a story, and soon James was involved in them so deeply that Vernon became enraged with him.

"See here boy! I don't know what that damned witch-freak Lily sees in you! You're a lazy day dreamer who will never amount to anything in the real world." Vernon paused. "Then again… that witch-freak herself is worthless, I don't know what you see in her." 

"What do you mean by that?" James narrowed his eyes, his focus immediately turned to Vernon.

"She won't even give me any, I don't know what you're sticking around for. She's uptight, that's what."

"Give you any? Give you any what?"

"Are you incompetent boy? That crazy loon girl won't sleep with me, and if she won't sleep with me, she probably isn't sleeping with you, so why are you with her?"

"You don't like Lily cause you can't sleep with her?" Anger was building in James. Who the hell did this man think he was?

"Well? She's the freak. I told her if she'd lose the makeup she could have me, but she ruddy well refused."

"You stay away from Lily from now on." James' eyes darkened and he glared menacingly at Vernon.

"Why's that boy?" Vernon smirked.

"She's mine. Understand? Lily is mine, and no creepy sap of crud like yourself is good enough to be anywhere near her. You aren't fit to polish her shoes, so just you stay away from her." James let Vernon have it. He didn't know where the possessiveness came from; it was really sudden. Not unwelcome, but sudden. He had meant it too. While he was around, Lily was _his_. No one else could touch her or hurt her because he would be there to protect her. 

Had Lily been putting up with this for a long time? He hoped not. Oh, poor Lily! No wonder she had been worried about her sister's wedding. Her sister was marrying a man who was hitting on her, and if she said anything, chances were she wouldn't be believed. Lily… James' heart went out to her. And here he was, thinking his home problems were bad.

"Yours huh? Thought you weren't dating her?"

"I'm not. But go near her, and I'll rearrange that face of yours. And don't think I can't." James saw Vernon's eyes survey him, as if to see who would be the obvious winner if they were to fight.

"Look here. I'm marrying Petunia. She's a nice, quiet, dumb girl who sleeps with me when I want her to. I don't need your precious Lily to keep me satisfied. Just you remember that I let her go, not the other way around."

"Whatever." James blew him off. "Let's go."

"Do you…"

"Yeah, I know what to do."

"Fine." And the car ride back was in silence.

)(

"James?" 

"Hey Lily."

"James, what's wrong? You aren't usually this quiet. What did Vernon say?" Lily asked him. It was late, and they were the only two left up in the family room. James was going to be sleeping on the couch, but Lily had waited till everyone had gone to sleep so she could speak to him privately.

"Is it true Lily?" James asked in mid thought. He looked over her. Once again the dark makeup donned her visage, but she seemed strangely serene in the dim lighting. Her nose ring was gone, and her cheeks were slightly flushed, making for a beautiful but dangerous façade.

"Is what true?"

"That Vernon offered to let you sleep with him?" Lily gasped. 

"How did you find out?" She whispered.

"He told me. Lily, he did, didn't he?" James watched her eyes darken. He hated it when her eyes were dark… it made him feel as if he weren't doing enough to protect her… she was so innocent to everything.

"I told him no James. I swear I told him no. Oh, what a wicked man! Whatever he told you about me…"

"He asked why I put up with you if you weren't sleeping with me. I told him to shove off."

"James?" Lily asked, her brow furrowed. James had to smile- she was once again worried.  
"Lily." He stated softly. Then he opened his arms and held them out. Lily looked at him for a moment, then flung herself into them and held on tightly. "It's ok Lily, it's alright. I told him off good for you. No one will ever hurt you while I'm around, I promise. God Lily, I swear no one will ever hurt you when I'm around. I'm kill them if they do."

"James…" She whispered. She wasn't crying, but she was so choked up with emotion she could barely speak. "Thank you."

"Anything for you Lily." They stayed in the hug for a moment longer, then they pulled away.

"I'm sorry. Not all muggles are this bad James." She tried to apologize.

"I know. Just as all wizards are not good." James' eyes darkened. Lily almost gasped. She had never seen him look like that before. It almost frightened her to see that look in his deep chocolate eyes.

"James? What happened? What wizards were bad to you? Was it Snape or Malfoy?" He wanted to laugh. She thought they were bad? She was just so innocent…

"No Lily. Don't worry about it. It's nothing." He tried to deter her.

"James, it isn't just 'nothing'. Otherwise you would have already tried to cover up you worrying by joking around." She frowned, worried for him.

"Do I do that?"

"Yes. Tell me James."

"Lily, no one except Sirius, Remus and Peter know. And I'm not sure I can…"

"Trust me?" James looked down at Lily's hurt face. That wasn't the reason! 

"No! Lily I trust you. It's just… it's hard for me to talk about." James swallowed hard. He always choked up thinking about it.

"James? You can tell me. I promise I won't laugh."

"Lily. I never thought you would. It's just… all right. I'll tell you, but don't interrupt me; otherwise I'll never finish. Let me put this in a way you can understand it. There are bad muggles, right?"

"Of course. Look at Vernon."

"No, I mean bad muggles with power."

"Yes, history is full of them- Nero, Hitler, Mussolini, and the list goes on."

"Well, now imagine one of those men in power had been wizards."

"The world would have come to an end!" Lily gasped.

"Now you know how bad Voldemort is." James finished.

"Voldemort? You mean the guy who every one says they can't say his name?" Lily asked, slightly confused.

"He's a bad wizard Lily. So bad that he's killed before. In fact, he's killed lots of times. One of those times happened to be two years ago. See, my parents were aurors. They hunted all of the bad wizards down and sent them to trial. They were the top pair of aurors in the ministry. But then they were given a new assignment. Lily, my parents were sent to hunt out Voldemort." Lily gasped and James took a deep breath. 

"I guess Voldemort thought they were getting too close because one night when I was over at Sirius', Voldemort and his ugly followers murdered my parents."

"Oh James." Lily breathed.

"Yeah. That was two years ago. I've been staying with Sirius ever since."

"James." They sat in silence for a moment. Then Lily crawled from her place next to James and sat in his lap. James was slightly shocked. Lily had never been this bold before. But she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in close, softly humming. James instantly relaxed. She always made him feel more at peace for some reason, even when he was hurting inside. 

Just thinking about his parents, James' heart started to speed up. His throat tightened, and it was harder to breath. His stomach flopped about, and his eyes suddenly burned and were itchy. His parents… god his missed them! And tears began to roll down his face.

"Mom!" He cried into Lily.

"Shh. It's ok James, everything will be alright." She tried to help him. Her whole heart ached for him in a way she hadn't known was possible. Poor James. She couldn't even imagine what everything would be like without her family. She felt glad she knew. This way she could at least help James. He trusted her enough to confide in her, and she felt lucky and special because of it. They fell asleep like that; Lily and James curled up together, tear streaks running down James' face. 

In the early morning when Lily finally woke, she slipped away from James' hold only to crawl up stairs into her cold bed. She missed him, but if anyone had seen them… *

~~~ I am terribly sorry this took me so long… school and all, plus the play I'm in, plus I sprained my foot (Yes, it's possible) Ahh! I'm bogged down! That and writer's block… I'm sure some of you know how that is! But I promise to have more soon! And I also promise L/J romance starting in the next three chapters! REVIEW PLEASE! Much love, Vixen ~~~


	16. Wedding Bouquets and Garters

Chapter Sixteen: Wedding Bouquets and Garters

*As James blinked his eyes open, he shot up, half expecting to find a redheaded girl near him, but the rest of him already knowing that she had slipped away. She was so unusual, James reflected. He could tell her anything and feel satisfied afterwards. 

When he had first told Sirius and Remus, they had given him a hug and a pat on the back. Dumbledore had hugged him, as had McGonagall. But no one had truly _hugged_ him, and it made such a difference! Lily's warmth had given him the strength to do what he hadn't done for two years… cry. He had wept openly, unashamed that he wasn't being strong, and it had felt good. He had needed to let everything out, and last night he had finally been able to do just that. 

Lily had been able to comfort him, to ground him in a way he hadn't even believed possible. And now, he knew, it was her turn. She needed to let things go, to let everything about her family loose. When was it her turn to cry? When was it her turn to be listened to? She observed everyone else, but she herself never had anyone to go to with her problems. Would she finally trust him? He didn't know. And he wouldn't, unless he dragged himself out of the bed. Besides, today was the day of the wedding. 

Rolling out of the makeshift bed, James grabbed his clothes and scurried to the bathroom across the hall to dress. He could already hear people beginning to make breakfast in the kitchen, and he didn't want to look like a slob in front of Lily's family. For some reason, it was really important to him that he make a good impression on them. When he was finally dressed, he walked into the kitchen, a wide smile plastered upon his face.

"Good morning." He greeted everyone.

"Good morning James." Lily and her mother chorused.

"Potter." Vernon spit. 

"James." Lily's father nodded. Petunia simply sat there, refusing to acknowledge him. Well, he had Lily's mother anyway.

"James, how are you?" Lily asked quietly, pulling him aside.

"I'm fine Lady Lily." She grinned goofily. Lily gave him a worried look, and he became more serious. "Lily, thank you for helping me last night. I really did need to just get it all out. You know, that's the first time I've cried since it happened. But I'm really fine with it. It's been two years. I just needed the final closure, that was all."

"I'm glad you're feeling better James." Lily gave him a sad smile.

"Hey Lil?"

"Yes?"

"Don't think I didn't mean it when I said that I would always be there to protect you. I will, I promise. Just remember that, all right? And if you need someone to talk to…"

"I know James, I trust you." And with those little words James' heart soared. She trusted him! Lily Evans trusted him!

"Well then, let's celebrate! Food!" James announced. Lily just shook her head.

"What are we celebrating?" Petunia snipped.

"Your wedding Petunia!" Lily broke in quickly. Petunia's face went from sour to happy.

"Well in that case!" And breakfast was kept light.

Soon after the meal, and after the dishes were finished, the five people quickly found themselves busy with last minute details for the ceremony.

Lily and James finally got the tuxedo tailored to James' size, and everyone else finished setting up for the reception after the wedding. By the time four o'clock rolled around, both James and Lily were ready for a well-deserved nap. Unfortunately, neither got their wish. Instead, they found themselves piling into a car for the ride to the church. 

"James, I'm sorry I'm going to have to leave you to Vernon and my father, but please try to ignore them as best you can. When my father is around Vernon, he isn't himself."

"I'll be fine Lily. You just watch out for yourself with Petunia, understood?"

"Yes James." She patronized him sweetly. He laughed deeply and winked, but was being called away. 

"Bye Lily!"

"Bye James!" She shouted after him.

"Come on freak!" Petunia shouted at her. Lily sighed. Even on her wedding day her sister couldn't be in a good mood. 

"Coming Petunia." She sighed. Walking into the small changing room, she balked at the dress she was supposed to wear. Honestly. It was a long dress that came off the shoulders, had almost no back, and was low cut in the front. But that wasn't quite so bad. It was the color that made Lily unhappy. Pale blue? She never wore anything but black. This dress was white with pale blue gauze draped over it. Well, Lily did know one thing. Even if she herself was a freak, her sister had been known as a wonderful fashion consultant for as long as she could remember. Maybe, for once, she would be able to hide her freakishness for the night.

"Lily, sit down dear." Her mother gave her a grim smile. "No, wait. First go wash your face and take that hideous black off. And it's a good thing those ugly black streaks you had in your hair are nearly gone. Go on… Then come back and I'll do your makeup."

"Mother? Aren't you going to do Petunia's?" Lily asked in confusion.

"She wants to do her own. Oh, my oldest baby is getting married!" Lily's mother fought back tears. Lily saw this and felt bad. She had to let her mother do something; otherwise she would start crying before the wedding even began! 

"Alright Mother. Let me go wash my face." Lily made sure she went quickly, and then she settled herself back down again. As her mother began to apply the makeup, she tried not to flinch. It felt so weird. Her mother had never done this before. Before she had always been so expecting of the way she chose to dress. Well, things and people could change. Maybe Petunia's marriage was just the turning point in her mother's life where she started caring. After all, now her mother didn't have Petunia around to constantly dress up and talk about makeup with. Maybe her mother was just scared she was going to be lonely.

"Lily, your makeup is done. Go put on your dress now." Her mother finally sat back on her heels. Lily opened her eyes, which she had shut tightly earlier, and looked around. Nothing seemed any different to her. Was it possible that the different makeup didn't change her? She was still the same… she felt the same, thought the same, still had the same reserved shyness… but her makeup was different. Maybe it didn't matter?

Standing, Lily pulled the dress on and then a pair of her sister's old party shoes. She was ready. Aside form being slightly unable to breath in the dress; she felt the same as she usually did. How unusual. What was James going to say? He would probably think her a major freak. Once a freak, always a freak, or so the story goes. 

As the music started, Lily stood nervously in her place. Finally when the signal was given, she walked to the center of the aisle and waited for James to walk out beside her and escort her down the long red carpet. 

James saw the cue for him to walk and noticed that a girl had stepped out from behind the curtains. Was that…Lily? His breath caught. She was so pretty in her dress and the makeup. She looked almost average, but, James thought, Lily made average beautiful. He then mentally smacked himself for not moving and hurried to catch Lily's arm. When he reached her, he smiled at her, and saw her return the smile with a small side grin. She was still the same Lily, just in a different get-up, and James admired that.

"You look lovely Lady Lily." He whispered. The blush that crossed her face was bright red, much deeper than he had ever seen before without the heavy white makeup on. She said nothing back, but he knew it was simply because they were supposed to be silent during the ceremony. When they reached the alter, they split ways, and then watched Petunia walk down with her long, white dress trailing behind her. 

The ceremony had been beautiful, and as soon as the groom had kissed the bride making it final, the Evans family, the new Dursely family, and James all managed to get down the aisle and out of the church without too much of a hassle.

The wedding reception began nearly as soon as they arrived back at the house. People began drifting in, bringing gifts and wine, and then the loud music and dancing began. Lily was dancing with her father when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"May I cut in sir?" She had the urge to laugh at James' proper behavior. It didn't fit him.

"Of course." Mr. Evans gave James a stern look, but then left, figuring the boy couldn't put the moves on his daughter in the middle of so many people. Lily and James began to sway with the music.

"Now then Lady Lily. Have I told you that you look stunning?" James grinned.

"Don't flatter me. It's only a dress James, it doesn't change me." Lily told him quietly. "And it certainly doesn't hide my freakishness."

"Lily, Lily, Lily. It is only a dress. But maybe that isn't what I meant. Maybe you just look extra alive tonight. Your eyes are practically glowing Lily."

"James…" Lily sighed.

"It's true!" He protested. "Lily, you are not a freak."

"I know you think that, but everyone else? Please James." She flushed red again.

"If I had a dime every time you blushed, I would be rich." James laughed. 

"Well, if I had a dime every time you…I don't know!" She gave up, mildly frustrated. 

"Hey Lily. Do you realize school starts in only two weeks?"

"I know. I can't wait either. James, we're seventh years. I've been waiting all this time… and I'll finally get my witching license."

"What will you do after school Lily?" James asked, their conversation turning serious as the song slowed. Lily shivered as she felt James' arms wrap around her waist and support her as they spun in circles.

"I don't know. I'm not even sure if I want to stay in the wizarding world. I mean, I've grown up a muggle all my life; it's all I know. But I've taken the advanced courses in muggle studies and defense against dark arts. McGonagall told me I could probably get a job anywhere in the ministry if I asked for it."

"I couldn't imagine living in the muggle world." Lily could feel James shudder.

"Well then, what do you think you'll do?"

"I don't know yet either. I want to become an auror."

"James…"

"No, not just to avenge my parents. I think it's what I'm good at. I took the advanced defense against dark arts courses too... and I took the divinations courses- though I doubt they'll do me much good."

"I think you have to have a talent in divinations. I know I didn't have it when I tried it."

"Really?"

"Yes. I dropped the class. It wasn't that I didn't like it, it just seemed too useless to me. I'm like that I suppose. Everything I do needs to have a purpose."

"Really?" James smirked.

"Yes."

"Dancing doesn't have a purpose, and here you are dancing with me."

"James!" Lily whined. "That wasn't what I meant." 

"I know." They smiled at each other lightly.

"Hey everyone! Time for Petunia to throw her bouquet!" Someone shouted.

"Huh?" James asked. 

"Oh." Lily blushed. "It's tradition for the bride to throw her flowers to all the single women. The rumor is that the one who catches it is the next to get married. Then the groom throws his bride's garter to the single men. The same rumor applies." Lily explained. 

"I like this tradition!" James declared. Lily laughed. 

"I thought you might."

"All single ladies to the dance floor- throw the men off!" Another woman called. The man laughed, including James, and the stepped aside. James watched Lily as she practically disappeared into the crowd of woman. She was so petite compared to the others.

"Ok, here I go!" Petunia shouted. Then she turned around and threw the bouquet behind her towards the women. There was a lot of mad rushing for a while, but when all of the women stood, no one could find the bouquet. 

"So who has it?" One of the women asked disappointedly.

"I do." And quiet Lily stepped forward, the bouquet cradled in her arms. It had just… landed there; she hadn't even had to fight for it.

"Figures the freak would get it. She probably witched it." Lily could hear Petunia mutter under her breath to Vernon. But she didn't pay too much mind to it. She had caught the bouquet. Did that mean… would she really get married? But who could love a freak like her? Besides. She didn't believe in love, it didn't exist. 

"Alright, now all of the single men!" Petunia roared above the crowd. James smiled. 

"Hey Lil, does that include wizards?"

"Of course it includes you James!" Lily almost laughed. She watched as he winked and stepped onto the dance floor, paling around with a few other boys he had just met. The throng of men whistled and hollered as Vernon slowly removed the garter from Petunia's leg. When he finally had it off, he spun it around on his finger, and then threw it.

James, who had been looking to the side, was quite surprised to find that a garter suddenly landed on his head. His hand went up in wonderment as he grasped the small piece of white women's underwear in awe. Petunia's… _garter_… had _not_ just landed on his head! Oh, yes, it had. And then he laughed.

"Lily! We're getting married!" He hollered out. The crowd, save Lily, her sister and her new husband, and her parents all broke into a roar of laughter. The couple was adorable. 

When the party was over and the bride and groom had left for their honeymoon, the quiet seemed almost unbearable. The heavy silence was due to the fact that since James and Lily had caught the garter and bouquet her parents hadn't taken their eyes off of them. But secretly, Lily and James kept slipping each other smiles. It was too funny. But eventually it was time for them to sleep, and then the goodbyes began.

"Well Lily. When you wake up, I won't be here." James looked down at his feet as he spoke. He knew he would miss having Lily around. He always felt so much happier, calmer, when she was near him.

"I'll miss you James. Thank you so much. For everything." She whispered. James was so sweet… always there for her. She was truly going to miss him.

"No, thank you Lily." James told her seriously.

"I'll see you at the train station James." Lily told him.

"Right then. And when Ara and Si and Remie all see you, they'll flip. You've changed. Not physically… I mean, sure, you're pretty, but you're so much happier Lily. They'll all notice the difference."

"James, you're too much sometimes." Lily laughed.

"I really do love your laugh Lady Lily." He laughed too.

"Good night James. I'll see you soon."

"Good night and good bye Lily."

)(

Lily sighed. She was finally back, after all this time. Hogwarts. Before last year she would have shuddered at the thought of returning to the school for another lonely nine months, but now… now she was almost glad she was going back. 

"Lils! Lils! There she is! Hey Lils!" Lily turned around, knowing full well who was calling her.

"Hi Ara." She smiled slightly as the other girl bounded up to her, four boys in tow. 

" 'Hi Ara'? We've been gone for three months, and all I get is 'Hi Ara'? Come here!" Arabella laughed and pulled Lily into a bone-crushing hug. Lily smiled and returned the hug. 

"Hey Ara!" She tried to sound more enthusiastic. 

"That's more like it!" Ara laughed. "Look, the guys are here too."

"Hi Sirius, Remus, Peter. Hi James."

"Hello Lady Lily." James smiled. "How was the rest of your summer after the wedding?"

"Good." Lily smiled. 

"Yes, we want to hear in detail why you needed James for a wedding! He says you're getting married!" Sirius boomed. Lily blushed.

"It' s just wedding folklore. James, didn't you explain that?"

"Nope! More fun that way!" James announced happily.

"Oh James!" Lily sighed smiling. Some things never changed.

"Come on, let's get a seat on the train." Remus suggested. "Before all of the good cars are gone."

"I'm in!" Sirius announced.

"Um Remus?" Lily breathed quietly.

"Yes?"

"Do… do you feel alright? You don't look so well." 

"I'm fine." Remus answered her, paling considerably simply because she noticed he wasn't feeling top-notch. The full moon was tomorrow night, and he always looked haggard the days before it.

"He's fine, pay no mind to him." Sirius said quickly. Too quickly for Lily. 

"Alright. Just worried."

"Isn't that just like you to be worried?" James teased her. She recognized it as one of his ploys to ignore a problem that was bothering him.

"Just like me." She agreed to appease him. "Well, let's go then." She suggested.

"Let's!" Ara agreed, also noticing the tension that had built in the air. The boys were hiding a secret from her and Lily; that much was obvious. But she wasn't going to pry, and neither was Lily she didn't think. The boys would tell them when they were ready.

They climbed aboard the train and found a cart that suited them. As Lily began to describe a muggle wedding for them, they felt the train lurch forward and their return journey to Hogwarts begin. After hours of sitting and talking, Ara warned them that they would be arriving soon.

"Come on Lily, come change with me."

"Now?"

"Yes now! We have to be wearing our uniforms when we get there, remember?"

"Yes but…" Lily was still hesitant. She didn't want to believe they were there yet; she was comfortable on the train. 

"No buts, come on!" And Ara grabbed her hand and dragged her away. The two girls walked quickly down the train hallway towards the bathrooms. When they finally got to them, they both took a bathroom and quickly changed out of their normal clothes and into their robes. Lily also washed her face and removed her nose ring. She would be going as herself for a change- no heavy makeup or gothic clothes. Neither would she be wearing the same sort of makeup her mother had put on her for the wedding. She just wasn't going to wear any. No more masks.

"Lily, you done?"

"Yeah, coming." As she opened the door, Ara gasped.

"Oh Lily…"

"I know. No more makeup this year."

"I like it. I'm glad you're just you. Besides… you really didn't need the makeup to begin with… you're naturally pretty like that. I wish I was that lucky."

"Ara, that isn't true. I was just tried of having people talk about me behind my back. I may be a freak, but I don't want to hear about it this year."

"Lily, you are-"

"Not a freak, I know, you keep telling me that. Just humor me?" Lily asked. *

~~~How about that huh? Now they're in their seventh year… what's going to happen to them? How WILL Lily and James fall in love? Will they ever realize it? (Actually, the answer is in the next ch... yes, I already have it written!) But you don't get to see it unless you REVIEW! Much love, Vixen ~~~


	17. Could I Really?

Chapter Seventeen: Got What?

* Ara stood for a moment, stationary. Then she finally sighed and looked Lily in the eye. "Fine. But only for a little while. Hey Lil?"

"Yes?"

"Did you get the feeling the boys were hiding something from us at the train station?" Ara asked in a low voice.

"Yes, I did. Something with Remus. He didn't look well. Do you suppose he's sick?"

"Maybe. I don't want to pry, but…" Arabella let her sentence drag off.

"I know exactly what you mean, I feel the same." Lily told her.

"Well, I guess we had better be getting back, they'll start to worry about us." Ara giggled, and Lily smiled slightly. "We still need to work on lightening you up. But don't worry, we have a whole year to do it!"

"Come on Ara, let's go." Lily suggested, not wanting to think about another secret James might be keeping from her. He had already told her about his parents… what other things could he be hiding? What else could he be keeping inside? She wanted to know, she wanted him to trust her. And if he didn't tell someone, it was more than likely that whatever he was hiding would end up wearing him down. She couldn't let that happen, not to James. As the two girls re-entered the train compartment, silence befell the four boys.

"Lil- Lily?" Peter stuttered.

"Yes? What's wrong?" She asked, completely unaware of what could be wrong. Was it just her freakishness that was scaring him?

"You're not wearing the makeup Lily." Sirius grinned doggishly.

"Lils decided the makeup was too much of a hassle. Got a problem?" Arabella gave Sirius a look. But it wasn't a look of anger, more one of challenge. 

"My only problem is that you are still single while I'm hanging around." Sirius winked.

"But who would ask me out?" Arabella played coy. The whole compartment, including Sirius, knew exactly where this was going. And according to all of them, it was about time.

"Ara, gorgeous, you and me?" Sirius suggested.

"Sirius," she paused. "Ask it right."

"Arabella, will you go out with me?"

"And it will last for longer than a week?" She eyed him skeptically. 

"I promise." Sirius nodded, completely serious for a change.

"Yes."

"It was that simple?" Sirius scratched his head. "If I had known that, I would have done this _last_ year!" Everyone broke into laughter. Arabella eyed Peter, and the pudgy boy slid over in his seat, leaving room for Arabella to sit beside the guy she was now dating.

"Now look here!" Sirius announced. "Now I have a girlfriend-"

"No, you are dating someone. Dating and girlfriend are two different things." Arabella interjected. Sirius laughed.

"OK. Now I'm dating, Remus, you're still going out with Leona Hasda from Ravenclaw, Peter, you're still with Cynthia Yumi from Hufflepuff, why, the only one who needs a girl is James!"

"I agree. James, you never date, and you have girls falling at your feet. If I were you…" Peter began, but was cut off.

"But you're not." James stopped him. He continued.

"If I were you, I would at least pick one!" The envy shining in Peter's eyes was obvious. The train suddenly came to a jolting stop, and the noise of people in the corridor outside their compartment alerted them to the fact that they had finally reached their destination; Hogwarts.

In the horseless carriages, James and Lily sat with Sirius and Arabella. They laughed and joked the whole way up to the castle, but when all was said and done, the stress from their trip was starting to set in. As they climbed up the entrance stairs to the Hogwarts Castle, Lily yawned and James smiled at her.

"Tired?" He asked.

"Just a little. I want to at least watch the sorting though. And say hello to Andy."

"Andy? Who is he?" James' eyes shot up. Lily had a boyfriend? What?

"He? James, you must be more tired than I am. He! Andy as in Andrea White, the girl we tutored last year? Remember?" James flushed crimson. Oh! Her! He felt… dumb.

"Right!" He nodded. "Sorry, I don't know what came over me. I must be tired."

"Don't worry about it." Lily gave him a small smile. He loved it when she did that. It was like his own, personal smile, one she did just for him. He felt special when she smiled like that, as if she trusted him and only him. God he had to be more tired than he had thought to be thinking like this!

"Yeah. I wonder if she'll need help this year?" He asked.

"Maybe. Probably, I mean, she'll have a hard time catching up in all of her classes and all with her constant doctor's appointments."

"What?" James stopped, suddenly concerned. "What's this now?"

"Don't you know?" Lily asked, shocked. She had assumed Andy had told James. 

"Know what?"

"James, didn't you ever wonder why Andy has so little hair? Why she has dry skin?"

"Well, after a while I got used to it and I didn't notice it. I try not to base what I think of people on appearance."

"I know." Lily gave him a sad smile. "I'm glad, otherwise I wouldn't have you as a friend."

"Now Lily, you are…"

"The point was, James, that Andy has been having chemotherapy for cancer. Hair falling out, dry skin, tiredness, all of those are side effects of the treatment."

"Chemotherapy?" James asked. Lily balked. Of course! That was why Andy hadn't told James! He was a full-blooded wizard; he wouldn't understand what chemo was!

"Do you know what radiation is?"

"I'm not dumb Lily."

"Chemotherapy is a form of radiation used to kill the bad cancer. But it also kills other parts of the body, like the hair. That's why she's had a hard time keeping up in her classes, because she has to come and go for the treatment."

"That's horrible."

"But look on the bright side. She told me that she was doing much better, that the cancer is in remission, and that she might not even need the treatment anymore."

"Remission?"

"The cancer is nearly dead. She's almost healthy again."

"That's great!" James smiled. Lily smiled too. By now they had reached the Great Hall. Sitting at the back of the table, they waited for their friends to fill in the spots around them. Their conversation became light again, neither of them wanting to share the delicate information about their friend with other people.

"Hey look, here come the first years." Remus smiled weakly. 

"They're so small!" Arabella cooed. Lily side smiled.

"Ahh! Just imagine what we can do to them! The Slytherins are going to wish they had never set foot in this school!" Sirius laughed. James joined him.

"Prank time gentlemen!" He announced. Even Remus perked up at the mention of a new prank. 

"Ara, switch seats with me? That way I can sit next to James and plan." Sirius grinned.

"Ok." As Arabella stood up, a loud voice rang out through the hall.

"Miss Figg! Sit back down!" The Marauders, Lily, and Ara winced. McGonagall! "Mr. Black, I like you separated from Mr. Potter. We might actually have a peaceful feast for the first time in four years." A general laugh went up around the room, and the Marauders simply grumbled.

"We get no respect I tell you." Sirius loudly stated, making the laughter even louder.

"You'll get the respect when the pranks stop. Besides, I'd like the Slytherin first years to survive this year." But Lily could see mirth in McGonagall's eyes as she spoke. She could also see the trembling first years gulp. And then she laughed. A long, loud, clean laugh echoed through the hall.

"Lily!" James grinned. "What's so funny?" And she continued to laugh. Finally James took the hint and began to laugh with her. Next came Sirius, then Arabella, then Remus and finally Peter. Each of them just laughed. Finally managing to contain their sniggering, they looked up to see a stern McGonagall standing and frowning at them, and the rest of the room gazing in mild shock.

"Miss Evans, is this any way for a seventh year to behave? I'm surprised at you, of all people."

"I'm sorry Professor." Lily squeaked, her face still red. She had to duck her head down again; otherwise she would have broken into another fit of laughter.

"Now then, the sorting ceremony will now begin." And the first years began their trips towards the sorting hat. When all of the first years had been sorted, Dumbledore stood, his eyes twinkling, and a smile playing on his thin lips.

"Well, we've certainly gotten off to an exciting start this semester. Just a few small beginning of the term notices, then you can all eat. First, please do not poke the Whomping Willow. It is temperamental for a reason; do not provoke it. Secondly, Let's try to remember to use the astronomy tower for looking at the stars only. Oh, and last but not least, we have a new caretaker, Mr. Flitch. I hope you'll all make him feel welcome. Now that all has been said," He paused and McGonagall whispered something in his ear. 

"Ah yes, one more thing. Please do not use dung bombs in any of the bathrooms. It really is quite unpleasant to have that smell throughout the castle." A few snickers were heard. "Now then, almaginkadiva!" And food appeared on the tables before the hungry students.

And then a loud wail went up from the front of the Gryffindor table. The Marauders and company shot their heads up, wondering what had made their housemates groan. The groan that had started at the top of the table with the first years began to make its way down the table, and soon nearly the whole table was in tears. James stood and pulled Lily with him. They stepped away from the table just as Sirius and Arabella broke into tears. Then Remus, and finally Peter caved and began crying. 

"What is going on?" Lily whispered.

"Tear charm." James whispered.

"The tear charm? I don't see the blue gas…"

"An invisibility charm must have been placed over it." James' ears perked up and his eyes fell onto the Slytherin table, where the entire house was snickering in delight. He nudged Lily, whose eyes fell upon the same scene. Then their laughing grew louder, and finally it was blaring.

"Really?" She whispered under her breath. "We'll see how funny you think it is." She groused. Silently she took hold of her wand and swished it, murmuring a few small words. Suddenly, the Slytherins' laughter got loud, and their faces panicked. They began rolling on the floors, tears streaming down their faces, but none of them could stop.

"What is going on here?" McGonagall asked confused. It had been obvious the Slytherins, though she didn't know which ones in particular, had placed a tear charm on the Gryffindor. But now the Slytherins were laughing uncontrollably? Even James Potter, one of the biggest troublemakers and one of the only Gryffindors not affected by the tear charm, looked confused. A charm for a charm? This was not going to be a quiet year… she already had a migraine. 

"Well. We certainly have a range of emotions tonight, don't we?" Dumbledore looked amused, but slightly annoyed. He waved his wand at the Gryffindor table, then at the Slytherin table, and finally the laughing and crying stopped. Lily and James sat back down, and Lily patted Ara on the back as she tried to collect herself.

"I've never been so sad before." She told Lily. " I thought my heart was going to break."

"Well, it's all over now. Besides. Those slimly Slytherin got their just desserts."

"Lily!" Sirius gasped. "That was you?"

"No one messes with my friends. I don't have a lot to spare, so I'll protect them all I can." Lily announced quietly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have ourselves an honorary Marauder! Miss Lily Evans!" Sirius announced and grinned goofily. James just stared thoughtfully at Lily while everyone else clapped.

"Lily?" He asked when everyone had gone back to their food. "Why?"

"I told you. I'll protect my friends."

"That was so uncharacteristic though."

"That I would want to protect my friends?" She frowned.

"No. Just the laugh attack, then the prank, I don't know."

"Is that bad?" James frowned when he saw Lily looking downcast.

"Never Lil." He lifted her chin with his hand. "Laugh more often Lily. I love seeing you happy."

"I'll try James."

"But what _did _you find so amusing earlier?" He mussed.

"The fact that McGonagall was lecturing you all on not frightening the first years, but she herself scared them even by mentioning it. If you had seen the looks on some of their faces… it was hilarious."

"Lily, you're amazing."

"What?" She blushed. James was looking at her strangely. "I'm just me, just the same freakish me I've always been."

"Oh Lily."

"Oh James." They smiled, and turned back to their meals.

When they had all had their fill, they exited the Great Hall together, all heading for the Gryffindor Common room so they could go to their dorms to sleep. The conversation was kept light, and they laughed a majority of the time in-between yawns. When they finally got to the doors separating the boys and girls dorms, they stopped to say goodnight. Remus and Peter simply left waving, while Sirius pulled Arabella aside. James and Lily looked at each other.

"Hey James?" Lily asked.

"Yes Lady Lily?"

"Do you trust me?" His eyebrows shot up. What had brought on this doubt?

"Of course Lily. I trust you as much as I trust Remus and Sirius, my two best friends."

"Then James? Just know that if you ever want to tell me something, I'm willing to listen."

"I want to tell you you're not a freak." He grinned.

"You're doing it again." She told him pointedly.

"Hiding behind humor?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry Lily." He sighed. "I trust you. Just… give me some time, ok?"

"I'll always be ready when you are." She told him softly. "Good night James." Then she turned around.

"Hey Lily?"

"Yes?" She turned back around to face him.

"You're beautiful. Good night!" She blushed, smiled a small smile that made James' heart jump, and then walked through the door, following Arabella's misty figure.

"James my boy." Sirius clapped his friend's shoulder. "You've got it bad."

"Got what?" 

"You _like_ her!" He shoved James and laughed.

"I what?" James went very still. "No! I don't like her! I mean, I like her, but I don't _like_ her! Lily is my friend Si! You're such a sicko! You think everything has to be about sex and kissing and love! Lily doesn't even believe in love!"

"She doesn't, huh?"

"No!"

"Then why don't you change her mind?"

"What?" James stuttered.

"Think about it. Night Prongs!" And Sirius left, laughing and leaving a confused James as he went. James didn't know what to think. No, it wasn't possible. Lily was just his good friend. He would say best friend, but Si and Re were already tied for that position. Was it possible for him to have a third best friend? A very beautiful, very sweet, third best friend? Oh jeez… James suddenly wasn't tired anymore. In fact, he wanted to get out; he needed fresh air.

Going to his dorm room, James broke open his trunk and pulled out his two most prized items: a blank piece of parchment and a heavy cloak. The first had been made with his three best friends as a symbol for everything they stood for. The second, it had been a present from his father only a week before he had died. 

Hugging the two items close to him, he wrapped the cloak around him and saw his body disappear beneath it as he became invisible. Then he murmured a few quiet words to the piece of paper and a map shimmered into sight. Checking it, he nodded, then whispered a few more words and rolled the map up and shoved it into his pocket. Ready to go, he covered his head and watched his step as he snuck out of the dorm room. Careful not to get caught by the new caretaker, Flitch, James snuck outside and through the courtyard of the castle. He kept going until he made it to a familiar looking hobble with a garden visible behind it. 

He knocked on the door, and when it opened and a large man stood into the doorway, James snuck through and as the man closed the door thinking it had been his imagination, James unwrapped the cloak.

"James!" The large man yelped and jumped, grabbing his chest near where his heart would be.

"Sorry Hagrid. Did I scare you?"

"Don't do that to me boy! I hate that cloak! If you ever give that your son, I'll feel sorry for the poor sap who he sneaks up on."

"How was your summer Hagrid?" James asked, smiling. He threw the cloak over a chair and plopped down in another, closer to the fire. Hagrid followed in suit. 

"It was boring! Never much to do around here without kids! Now then, tell me how yours went."

"Boring. I stayed with Sirius and his family."

"How was that then?"

"Fine."

"And did you do anything?" Hagrid asked.

"We didn't do much, fly around and play quidditch and things. I didn't do anything… oh wait! I went to a wedding."

"Wedding? Who do you know that got married?" Hagrid scratched his beard.

"Lily's sister." James said mechanically, wanting to see Hagrid's response.

"You went and saw _that_!" Hagrid boomed. "Now that had to have been interesting. How'd it go?"

"Well I suppose. Lily owled me and asked for help. Apparently Vernon, the groom, had a cousin who was supposed to have been in the wedding, but he got sick. Lily asked me to fill in. So I showed up and was in the wedding."

"Was that guy nice? Lily was worried about him being-"

"He was horrible!" James spat out before Hagrid could finish. Hagrid sat back and just watched James go at it. "He was a sick, deranged man who didn't deserve to be anywhere near Lily! She was too good for him! Hell, she's too good for her whole family!"

"Is that so?" Hagrid's eyebrows rose. This would be interesting. *


	18. Same Old School Funk

Chapter Eighteen: Same Old School Funk

* "God Hagrid! This guy, Vernon, he's a bloody weasel! Do you know, even when he was engaged to Petunia he told Lily he would sleep with her if she washed her face? And then, when she said no, he just slammed her name. He was a disgusting slob, a big fat man who only hurt Lily worse than she was already hurt."

"He was that bad was he?" Hagrid narrowed his eyes.

"I told him off. Told him Lily was mine, and as long as I was around I would protect her. I think he got the message after that. Still…"

"Lily is yours? See here, when did this happen?" Hagrid asked, eyebrows rising.

"I didn't mean it literally! I just meant that I'm going to be there to protect her no matter what. Jeez! What is wrong with everyone today! First Sirius, now you Hagrid? I came out here to get away from all of that."

"Sirius? Now what did that boy say?"

"That I liked Lily. Impossible to get around these days, I'm telling you! Everyone's purely mental about every little thing!"

"Well James, it's true, isn't it?"

"What's true?"

"You do like Lily, don't you?"

"No!"

"Well. That's just what I saw. And Sirius must've seen it too. Come on James! Didn't you ever wonder now what it might be like to love Lily?"

"Love? Lily doesn't believe in love."

"But you do, don't you?"

"Of course."

"So make her believe."

"How?"

"Don't you love her? Show her!"

"I don't love her! I don't even like her!" James shouted. Hagrid laughed.

"Have it your way James."

"Hagrid, I'm sorry for yelling. I'm just tired of people assuming Lily and I… well, that I like her. I don't. I mean, she's just my good friend. Not even my best friend." James tried to explain out everything to Hagrid.

"I understand James."

"I mean, so what if we're close? That's a good thing, right? I mean, I wanted her to trust me, and now she does. And I trust her."

"I understand James."

"And it's a good thing for her. I mean, she's changed a lot. She isn't even wearing the heavy black makeup anymore. Her mindset about being a freak is slowly starting to change."

"I understand James."

"And she's still herself, but she smiles and jokes more. And she laughs… that's good!"

"I understand James."

"And it's not like I _need_ to hear her laugh or anything. I mean, her smile doesn't make my stomach twist, and my heart doesn't race when she's looking at me."

"I understand James."

"So do you understand Hagrid?" James finished. Hagrid stared hard at him. "I really am pathetic, huh?" James rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on.

"You're a fool who's falling in love. It's not your fault." Hagrid smiled at James. 

"Hagrid…" James warned.

"I'm sorry." He stopped for a moment, then he couldn't help himself. "So her smile makes your stomach twist and her eyes make your heart jump do they?"

"Yes." James moaned. "And I don't know why."

"I think you do."

"Sure Hagrid. I'm going to go to bed."

"Alright then James. Come back soon, I'll bake some rock cakes for us."

"Sound great!" James lied through his teeth. "I'll be back soon. I'm sure Lil will be in tomorrow to say hello too. Night Hagrid."

"Night James." And James was gone.

)(

When Lily woke in the morning, she found Arabella's bright and shining face hovering over her. "Morning sleepy head."

"Morning Ara."

"Guess what we have first?"

"Double potions with the Slytherins?"

"Darn it! How did you know?" Arabella looked hurt she hadn't been able to tell Lily.

"I didn't, you just told me my guess was right." Lily smirked.

"You are so evil sometimes!" Arabella laughed and pulled Lily's sheets off.

"Hey! It's cold!"

"I know! That would be the point! Get up!"

"Hey Ara?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course! We are best friends! You can ask me anything." Lily blushed.

"How did you know you liked Sirius more than a friend?"

"Lily, does this have something to do with James?" Lily paled. "It does!"

"No!" Lily yelped. "I just wanted to know."

"You like him, don't you!"  
"No! Listen Ara! I just, I don't know. I had the craziest dream that James and I were kissing. Kissing! But he's just my good friend- my best friend, aside from you. I don't know anymore."

"So it was dream? You know, people say dreams are a way to act out repressed feelings that we can't in reality. Maybe you really want to kiss James."

"But, but…"

"But what? Come on Lily! You can honestly tell me you've never thought about how cute James is? Or what it would be like to kiss him? Or even date him?"

"No. I…" Lily blushed and hung her head, her red hair dripping over her face to cover it. Ara brushed her hair aside and looked at her. 

"Lily?"

"Ok! I have! Ok? I don't know! I couldn't help it! It's just… James is always there for me- not that you aren't, but…"

"Don't worry Lily, I understand."

"And his smile… he's always so cute when he smiles at me. His eyes light up and his whole face is so happy…"

"I understand Lily."

"And his laughter… He always makes me laugh, especially with his pranks! He even dedicated a prank to me."

"I understand Lily."

"And he trusts me. He really does, I know he does. He tells me things and asks my honest opinion, and doesn't treat me like a freak."

"I understand Lily."

"And he compliments me, always calling me beautiful or gorgeous, or lovely. It's so nice to feel pretty every once in a while."

"I understand Lily."

"Do you understand Ara?" 

"Lily, you can't help it. It's a natural thing."

"Oh, but I don't want to lose his friendship! It would be so weird! And Ara, I'm not ready. I'm still only a freak…"

"You are anything but a freak Lily."

"Ara…" she sighed. "But even so. I don't even believe in love. How is that possible?"

"I'm still confused as to how you can't believe in love Lily."

"I'll explain it sometime. It really is quite ingenious. But right now we have that double potions class."

"Oh! I forgot!" Ara exclaimed. "But hey Lily?"

"Yes?"

"You asked me the way I knew I liked Sirius more than friends before I was his friend. It's a different situation for you. See, I was attracted to Si for his looks, then I got to know him, and I liked his personality too. But you, you got to know James' personality first, and now you're starting to notice his looks. It's different for everyone Lily. Love is funny that way."

"I don't love him! I don't even like him that way!" Lily growled in frustration. 

"Sure. Come on, get up!" Lily rolled her eyes, but said nothing. That morning breakfast was quiet. Neither James nor Lily wanted to say anything, and Remus was strangely absent. Sirius and Arabella had already eaten, and Peter was with the Hufflepuffs, more specifically his girlfriend.

"So… double potions with Slytherins. Should be interesting." James tried to begin a conversation. What was wrong with him? He was _never_ this tongue-tied.

"Yeah."

"I wonder what they'll say about last night."

"Yeah."

"I mean, you got them good Lils!"

"Yeah." Ok, that was it.

"Lily! Something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, I'm sorry James. Just thinking."

"About? Anything I can help with?" James asked, desperate to have Lily speak to him, to smile at him, to have her laugh.

"No, don't worry about it James. Just something Ara and I were talking about."

"Are you sure? I'm good with girl stuff too!" James mock sniffled. Lily looked up and seeing James' pathetic face had to smile. But then, that was what she liked about him, wasn't it? He always made her laugh, even when she was down. 

"Yeah James, I'm sure. Don't worry about it." Her words didn't convince him, but at least he had her smiling! That was something!

"Hey Lils, let's get going to class, we don't want to be late, now do we?"

"Never!" She shook her head. They stood and began the walk to class. "So have you seen Hagrid yet James?" Lily asked, thinking it would be a safe conversation. She didn't notice James pale.

"Yeah. I went and visited him last night after we said goodnight."

"Oh?" Lily perked up. "What did he say?"

"Not much. I did a lot of talking."

"About?"

"The summer. Told him about the wedding."

"The wedding?" Now Lily paled. She wondered what exactly James had said.

"You know, about the bouquet and garter and things." James lied through his teeth. His heart ached as he did it, but he needed to, for her sake. Lily was so delicate when it came to personal things that he didn't want to hurt her.

"Oh!" Color returned to her cheeks. "Did he laugh?"

"Though it was hilarious!" And then the conversation ended in an awkward silence. They entered the classroom and Lily made a beeline for Ara, as James went for Sirius. They drug their respective friends off in separate directions and sat beside them. 

Half way through the class, Arabella asked if she could use the restrooms. The professor allowed her to, and Lily was left alone working on her potion. She was fine for the first few moments, but just as she was adding the ragweed to the complicated memory potion, a dark figure loomed over her.

"Hello Evans. How was your summer?" Lily spun around to find herself face to chest with the tall Severus Snape. 

"Fine." She muttered, turning back around.

"I didn't say you could turn back around Evans. Show me some respect and look at me when I'm speaking to you." Snape growled.

"Please leave me alone, I'm busy working on the potion." She asked, still not facing him.

"You dirty mudblood! How dare you ignore him!" Malfoy joined Snape.

"Go away Slytherins." Lily brushed them off. Malfoy grabbed her wrist and spun her around. 

"You know, Professor Blad? He's in the store closet. He won't see anything we do to you." Malfoy teased.

"You're hurting my wrist. Go away." She tried one last time.

"I don't think we will. We want gratification."

"Of what?" She spat.

"We need to see that from now on you're going to treat us with respect. You think because you've moved up the social ladder and are friends with Arabella Figg and the Marauders you can get away with things? Think again you little whore. You're ours, _Evans_. Mudbloods like yourself are our play toys. Now we can either do this the hard way, or the easy way." As Malfoy finished his speech, he laughed. Then Snape went in for a kiss. His face was met by an angry fist. Yelping, he jumped backward.

"Potter!" The two sneered.

"Don't you dare lay your hands on her again." James warned them, stepping in front of Lily. "Or you'll find yourselves in so much trouble you won't even be able to begin to comprehend it. And the pranks won't even begin to add up to all the physical pain I'll personally give you."

"Damn mudblood lover! Go ahead and leave with your freakish bitch Potter! Your time will come, don't worry."

"What is going on in here?" The professor asked as he re-entered the room. The entire class had been focused on the interlude between James and Lily and Malfoy and Snape.

"Nothing professor. We were just discussing the potion ingredients." Malfoy spun.

"Well… Potter, get back to your partner!" James growled, but nodded and went back to Sirius, who was so mad he was red. Arabella, who had come in half way through the scene, ran back over to Lily, and the class quieted down again until it was time for them to leave.

As soon as the class ended, Lily picked up her books and left, walking quickly away. She couldn't wait around; she needed to leave, now. As she walked, she picked up her pace and finally broke into a sprint. When she stopped, she found she was in the library's restricted section. How had she gotten in here? Did she care? No. She just wanted to hide from the world. Dropping her books, she crawled into the corner and curled up, letting hot tears drip down her cheeks.

James ran to his room after the potions class was over and Lily had disappeared. He had to see if she was all right. But he had no idea where she had gone, so of course the trusty map was needed. Throwing on his invisibility cloak, James checked the map and, seeing Lily was in the restricted section of the library, he went for it.

"Lily?" He called gently as he entered the restricted section. He heard the sobs and a hiccup and followed his ears. Then his eyes fell upon a heap on the floor and his heart broke. "Oh Lily." James knelt beside her, but was afraid to touch her.

"James?" She whispered as the tears continued to fall. James brushed a few of the drops away from her porcelain cheeks, but it did little good. There were too many. Gently, as if she might break if he was too rough with her, he pulled her into a hug. She fell into his arms easily and just cried on. The words had stung … 'mudblood'… 'whore'… 'freakish bitch'… they had all stung.

"Shh. God Lily. I swear they'll never come near you again. I swear it, I'll protect you. I'll never let the touch you. They'll never do anything to hurt you ever again." He promised over and over. She just cried harder. 

"I want to go away James. I just want to get away." She murmured through her tears. Get away? James had an idea. Still trying to calm her, he picked her up and wrapped the invisible cloak around them. Then he headed out towards Hagrid's hut.

"Hagrid!" James pounded on the door. Soon the door was flung open and Hagrid, not seeing anyone, assumed it was James again and stepped aside to let him in.

"James! Shouldn't you be in class?" Hagrid asked the air as he looked for James. 

"No. I should be right here." Hagrid looked towards his bed, where James' voice had come from. Then James appeared, and Lily was lying on the bed, still and quiet. Her face was tear streaked, and a frown played on her soft, full lips. Sleep had taken pity on the poor, hurt soul.

"What happened?" Hagrid asked worriedly.

"Double potions with Slytherin. Malfoy and Snape ganged up on her and said a few nasty things- particularly that she was a freakish bitch." James spat, so angry with Snape and Malfoy that he wanted to break their necks. He wanted to hurt anyone who ever even _thought_ about hurting _his_ Lily.

"Where was the professor?"

"Store room, missed the whole thing. She waited until after the class, then ran off and broke down. She said she wanted to get away from everything, so I brought her out here."

"Poor Lily."

"And I didn't get there in enough time to stop it. I could have, and I didn't. I broke my promise."

"James, you didn't. You still stopped them didn't you?"

"Yes, but by then the damage had been done. I can't even believe how foolish I was, not to see something happening until it was too late."

"She won't blame you."

"She'll blame herself, and that's even worse!"

"Sit down and calm down James. Have some tea. When Lily wakes up, then you can worry."

"I'm worried now. I care so much about her… It hurts me to her hurt."

"That's love my boy."

"But we haven't even dated! I can't just jump straight to love!"

"Why not? If that's what your heart is telling you?" Hagrid asked. James paused. Everything seemed to come so simply from Hagrid. Why couldn't he just follow his heart? Who made the rule that they had to date before he could fall in love? He could just fall in love. And he was nearly positive he had. Nearly.

"Hagrid, do you think Dumbledore and McGonagall will be angry we're missing class?" James switched the subject. Hagrid saw right through it, but decided not to comment.

"Maybe. But I'll talk to them if they are."

"Thanks Hagrid."

"James?" Lily moaned. In seconds James was by the bed.

"Lily?" She sat up rubbing her eyes and then burying her head in them. "Don't worry Lily, we're out of there. We're at Hagrid's."

"Hagrid's?"

"Yeah, I brought you here. How do you feel?"

"Horrible." She moaned, leaning on James' shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Am I really that much of a freak James?" *

~~~Oh! How do you all like this? It's actually close to the end believe it or not. Maybe three more chapters or so. But don't worry, there's still plenty for me to discuss… Remus, animagus (spelling), Snape, Formal dance, graduation! Joy! PLEASE REVIEW! Much love, Vixen~~~

PS: Anyone ever heard of cokemusic? If you have and you have a V-ego, come find me! I'm AngelVixen, owner of Angel Mafia 


	19. I Feel Guilty

Chapter Nineteen: I Feel Guilty

*"Oh Lily." James pulled her in even tighter. He wanted to make her pain go away, to take it on himself so that she would be happier. "Lily, you are not a freak. Don't let them get to you. They do it because they know it will bother you! Please don't believe them."

"But James, I'm so weird, different from everyone else. I am such a freak…"

"Lily! You are not a freak! You are a gorgeous, spectacular girl who is smart and fun and pretty… I could go on about you for hours. Don't listen to them!" Lily was undecided, should she laugh at James' sweet words, or cry at the Slytherin's mean ones. So she sniffled and weakly smiled.

"You're just saying that James."

"Lily, why would I lie to you?"

"I don't know." She sighed. "But James, you can't even trust me and tell me what's wrong with Remus, and now you're suddenly tell me all these lies about me." Her smile disappeared and her tears renewed as they trailed slowly down her pale cheek.

James looked at Lily with wide eyes. She actually believed he would _lie_ to her? She had this little trust in him? But then, it was true he hadn't trusted her enough to tell her about his friend's… ailment. Still… And anyway! Why would he lie to her? Had he ever given her a reason not to trust him before? Yes. He had promised to protect her, to keep her safe, and he had let her down. 

"Lily… I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. God, I'm so sorry." James' voice cracked. "I would never lie to you! Never! I'm sorry I broke my promise!" And a single tear crawled down his cheek. James roughly bushed it away and pulled his glasses off to wipe his eyes before anymore could escape.

"Oh James, please don't cry!" Lily sobbed harder. "I know you wouldn't lie! I'm sorry I accused you of it. This is all my fault. If I wasn't such a freak, this never would have happened. Please don't cry!"

"Lily, you are not a freak! I'm so sorry I broke my promise."

"Enough! The both of you are making me sick with all this blaming!" Hagrid roared. "Lily, you are not a freak and it is not your fault Malfoy and Snape have mental issues. And James! You still stopped them, so stop yourself!" Both Lily and James looked at Hagrid through blurry eyes. And then they looked at each other and cracked tiny smiles. And then James let out a laugh, which Lily soon added to.

"There now, see?" Hagrid grinned through his own blurry eyes. James reached up and wiped Lily's tear stained cheeks dry. 

"Come on Lady Lily, let's see that gorgeous smile now." He joked. Lily had to smile at his words. "There it is!" James laughed.

"I am sorry though. I mean, for all the trouble I've caused you." Lily whispered, her throat still choked up.

"Don't be, you're worth it."

"James! Don't say things like that!" She blushed.

"But you're cute when you're blushing." He mocked her. She giggled slightly. Her laughter made James grin. She was happy. He himself felt elated.

"Now that's more like it! You two should be out there bumping heads with trouble, not crying in here!" Hagrid boomed and laughed. "Lily, James, pull up a chair near the fire and tell me more about the summer!" They nodded, and Lily stood up and James pulled over a second chair. Lily sat down in the one across from where Hagrid was sitting, and James looked down at the chair he had chosen to move. It was an old, beat up armchair with one too many patches and rips in the fabric. The lumpy cushions did not offer the appearance of comfort, and James groaned.

"Now then James, you should have been concentrating!" Hagrid laughed.

"Poor James!" Lily laughed. James just grumbled.

"So funny." He sat down in the chair, but immediately sprang back up. "Ow! That chair just bit me!"

"Bit you?" Lily laughed.

"Maybe it didn't like having you sitting on it?" Hagrid laughed harder. James just scowled.

"Oh James! Don't look like that! We were only joking!" Lily stood up. "Here, you can have this chair." She offered.

"Don't mind if I do?" James grinned doggishly and plopped down, grabbing Lily's waist and pulling her down with him. They laughed and Lily scrambled to stand up. "What's the rush Lady Lily?" 

"I'll crush you James!" Lily blushed.

"Crush me? Lily! You weigh what, a hundred pounds? Come on! Don't insult me! I'm stronger than that!"

"I weigh more than that!" Lily blushed. "And anyway…"

"And anyway you don't want to be bitten do you? It's not a pleasant experience, I'll tell you that. Now come on, just give in!" And James tugged at her again. Hagrid watched the two as Lily finally submitted and curled up on James' lap. He wrapped his arms around her, and rested his chin atop her head, smiling lazily. Hagrid smiled. They were nice together; it just… worked.

"You two comfortable?" He asked. They nodded slightly, obviously not concentrating on what he had said, but on each other. Hagrid decided not to say much more, just to let them sit and chat as they pleased.

)(

"Hey Remus!" James called out.

"Hi James." Remus sputtered. James looked at his friend. Remus appeared more haggard than normal. His blonde, white hair was messy and uncombed, and his robes seemed to be more wrinkled than usual. Then it hit him. The full moon! 

Since their first day back at Hogwarts, Remus had only undergone three transformations. Still, every time he did he seemed to become more and more tired. The stress of hiding his secret at school was taking a toll on him, and the Marauders, especially James, were well aware of the problem.

"Hey Moony, feeling alright?" James asked, concerned for his friend's health.

"Yeah." Remus laughed weakly. "You know me. I feel like a woman, I get pissy once a month. They should really consider it PMS for werewolves… pre-moon syndrome." James laughed. 

"You'd better be careful no girls hear you say that- you'll be labeled as a sexist!"

"If any girls heard me say that, I'd be in more trouble than that, I'd be kicked out of school and hunted down." Remus suddenly went serious. James went serious too. 

"Moony, you know if you ever need someone…"

"I know James."

"I hoped so. I mean, we aren't just friends because we pull pranks together. We're friends because we all know too much blackmail information on each other to become enemies." James grinned and Remus laughed.

"I know Prongs. Thanks."

"Yeah."

"So how are things with your girlfriend?" Remus asked slyly.

"Not you too! I still maintain Lily and I are just good friends. We are not dating or anything above." James announced, hoping the blush he knew was on his face would go unnoticed. 

"Prongs, level with me. You like her." Remus grinned.

"I never date." James countered.

"But you like her." Remus knew James was simply avoiding the subject.

"It would ruin my reputation, you'll understand." 

"You love her."

"You know Lily doesn't believe in love." James circumvented. 

"I'm taking that as a yes." Remus smirked.

"Take it, leave it, eat it." James muttered, laughter in his eyes.

"What?"

"I don't know." They grinned.

"Hey Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I were to ask you a question? About your transformations?" James' eyes darkened, and Remus knew his friend was being serious again.

"Sure James. What's wrong?"

"I feel guilty that every time you have a transformation I leave to see you and Lily doesn't know. She always tells me she notices you're looking sick, but when she asks, I can't say anything."

"You want to tell Lily." Remus came to the conclusion and paled.

"Yeah. But only if you want me too. And, I mean, no pressure. If you don't want me to, I won't. I swore to you I would keep your secret to my grave and if you want me to, I will."

"James, Lily is my friend too. Really. But I'm just worried about her… reaction to me. What if she hates me? What if she tells someone?"

"Remus, I can honestly say that Lily would never do either of those. You know I wouldn't have a friend who would. But if that's how you feel, no sweat."

"It's not that James."

"Remus, chill. I understand." James smiled. Sure, he was a little let down, but if that was how his friend wanted it, that was how it would be. It wouldn't be right to do otherwise.

"Thanks James."

"Any time. Did you do that paper for DADA yet?"

"No… I was on my way to the library for the books. I have to research those griffins…"

"Man, you'd better get to work! That thing took me an hour."

"How long did it take Padfoot?"

"Are you kidding me? Remus! He copied it from Ara of course." Remus shook his head.

"Figures he'd be the one to have the smart girlfriend. I have to get going, I'll see you later James."

"Bye Re!"

"Don't call me that!" But James just laughed at Remus' retreating form. Remus made it to the library in record time. Madame Pince gave him a stern look as he rushed in, but he meekly glanced at her and retreated to the back of the library where he wouldn't have to deal with her prying eyes.

"Hi Remus." Remus jumped in surprise. Turning around, he smiled.

"Oh, hey there Lily. How are you?"

"Good. I was just about to ask you the same question. You don't look too well." He could see concern etched in her eyes.

"I'm fine. Just a little tired. You know, I have that big DADA paper to finish and all."

"Really? I just finished mine. Do you want some help with research? I know the library by heart, I'm sure I could help you find whatever books you need." She offered shyly. Lily hadn't ever voluntarily struck up a conversation with Remus before, but he looked so tired today that she thought he might need help getting something done early so he could sleep.

"No thanks Lily, I think I…" Remus paused. "Sure. Sure, I'd love some help."

"Oh!" Lily exclaimed in surprise. She had half expected Remus to turn her help down. But now that he wanted it… "What did you need to find?"

"Books on werewolves actually." He muttered. What was he doing?

"Werewolves? Hmm. They should be back here… Follow me." She smiled a small smile at him and began walking down the rows of books. Finally she stopped. "Well, this whole section is on werewolves."

"Thanks. Do you know any of the best books?"

"Well, a lot of the books have a pretty biased view on werewolves. They like to make them out to be big, bad creatures, which isn't really all that true. If you find a book that labels werewolves as horrible, vicious monsters, it probably isn't the best source of referance."

"You don't think werewolves are bad?" Remus hid his surprise.

"Well." She paused. "How do I say this? I guess James summed it up for me when he was telling me about that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named fellow. There are good and bad people, right?"

"Right."

"Well, the way I figure it, there are good and bad werewolves too."

"A good way of looking at it."

"Yeah. I mean, what do you think? If you knew a werewolf, would you hate him?" Lily asked. Remus balked.

"No."

"I don't think I would either. Then again, if it were Snape or Malfoy…" She shuddered. Remus smirked.

"I know exactly what you mean." An awkward silence befell them. "Lily? Sit down."

"What?"

"Sit."

"Here? On the floor?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. What's going on? Remus, you're acting kind of… out of character. Is everything alright? You sure you aren't sick?" Lily asked quietly. This was why she preferred to stay in the shadows, because she wasn't sure what sort of advice to give people unless she knew the whole story. She hadn't been 'observing' Remus for a while, so she really had no idea what to expect from him.

"Lily, do you consider me as a friend?"

"Of course!" She looked slightly hurt he would even ask.

"Good, because I think of you as a friend too. Which is why I asked James to let me tell you." Ok, so that wasn't true. But Remus had to make his friend look good.

"Tell me what?"

"Hey Lily, I'm a werewolf." He just said it.

"You're a… werewolf… funny." She smiled. Then she looked into his eyes. Nothing was there except fear and truth. "You're serious. You're a werewolf?" She asked incredulously.

"Yeah."

"And tomorrow night's a full moon… no wonder you look sick! Remus, go get some sleep! This must be stressful enough as it is, but with a DADA paper?"

"You don't care?"

"I already told you what I thought." She smiled lightly. "You thought my opinion would change? I'm not a hypocrite Remus. And if you had been Snape or Malfoy, well, let's not go there. But anyway."

"James was right…" Remus muttered. Lily blushed. 

"What did he say?"

"Well, see, he asked me if he could tell you what I was. Said he hated the guilty feeling of not telling you. I told him no, because I wasn't sure how you would react, even after he told me you wouldn't hate me."

"So you… tricked me… into telling you my views, and when you knew I could be trusted you told me? That isn't very polite." Remus blushed, but saw that she was still lightly smiling.

"I'm sorry Lily."

"Hey, don't worry about it. Come on, let me help you with that paper so you can go rest." They smiled, and in that moment, Remus completely understood just why James was 'unconsciously' in love with her.

That night at dinner Lily sat beside Remus and James, with Ara across from her and Sirius next to her. She smiled at James, who grinned meekly back. He still felt bad that he couldn't tell Lily, but that he wanted to betray his friend's secret. 

"James, what's wrong?" Lily asked him quietly.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a little worried about some stuff."

"About Remus? He'll be fine." James looked up.

"What?" His eyes darkened and narrowed.

"I said stop worrying. He's got good friends like you to get him through all of this. He'll be fine."

"You know!" He accused her. She smiled lightly, and James could tell she wanted to laugh.

"Yeah. Remus told me this afternoon. We saw each other in the library and I offered to help him with the paper. Everything just went from there."

"He told me I couldn't tell you." James grumbled. It wasn't just that Remus hadn't let him tell Lily, but that Lily seemed to be more preoccupied with Remus than himself. Then James felt even guiltier for feeling jealous. After all, he had no claim over Lily… yet.

"Yeah, he mentioned you had asked if you could tell me and he had said no. He tested me first too. Don't be mad James." She told him concerned.

"I'm not."

"You are. Your eyes only get that dark when you're mad, upset, or jealous."

"I'm sorry Lady Lily." James' eyes lightened. He could never stay mad at Lily for long, she knew him so well that she could tell everything just by looking in his eyes. It almost scared him. But in a good way.

"May I have your attention please?" Lily and James' conversation came to an abrupt halt as Professor Dumbledore announced himself. "I have an announcement for everyone this evening. This year's formal ball is drawing near, in fact, it is next Friday evening. As most of you already know, the formal ball is the big social event of the Christmas season. Dress robes are required. That is all, thank you."

"Lily!" Arabella yelled across the table through the sudden buzz that echoed throughout the room. "Are you going?"

"What? He only just announced it!" Lily yelled back.

"So?"

"So!"

"Are you going?"

"Ara… I don't dance. Besides, those balls are only…"

"The most fun thing all year! You have to go Lily! Even if you don't dance."

"Ara, I really don't think so. Besides. I'm a…"

"Freak!" The Marauders, who had all heard the conversation, yelled in unison. She lowered her head and they laughed.

"Exactly. I won't be asked. So I see no reason in going."

"Oh Lily…" Ara sighed. "You don't need a date you know."

"But I can't go without one. So therein lies my dilemma. Besides. I don't really want to go." Lily blushed. Yes she did. She wanted to go badly. But she only wanted to go with one boy… who would _never_, not in a million years, ask her. She finished the rest of her dinner quickly, then stood and walked out of the Great Hall before anyone could stop her.

"Lily! Hey Lily!" She stopped as she heard a familiar voice calling her name.

"Hi James." 

"Why'd you leave so soon?" He asked, worried about why she was upset.

"Oh, I don't know. I didn't feel right sitting in there and listening to everyone chatting about that silly ball." James watched her eyes emerald eyes darken to a deep jade. She was upset… but her smile showed otherwise. So she was hiding her feelings.

"Why not? Lily what's wrong with the ball?"

"I-"

"Hi James!" A high squeal rang out in the halls. They turned around and saw one of Ara's old friends, Eva.

"Err, hi Eva." James stammered.

"So James, want to go with me to the ball?" *

~~~ I've had a few people ask questions on length… allow me to clear this up for y'all! This fic is actually finished as I write this. I'm just updating slowly! ;P Anyway. It's 121 pages long, 3 pages shorter than the longest thing I've ever written. Each ch is about 7 pages, though ch 20 is 8 pages, and a few of the beginning chs are only 4 pages. There are 21 chs plus and epilogue! There, was that detailed enough? PLEASE REVIEW! Much love, Vixen~~~


	20. Of Jealousy and Revenge

Chapter Twenty: Of Jealousy and Revenge

*Lily looked at the girl in awe. How could she be so bold as to ask someone so soon, and that… brash? She had been so rude in her mannerisms… would James tell her yes? Would he fall for that? Lily knew her friend had better taste than that, but still… sometimes stranger things happened.

James looked at Eva and blinked. And then blinked again. Did the girl have any idea who she was talking to? She had been so rude just to barge into their conversation like that, and then to ask him to the ball? James was into the old fashioned thinking that the boy had to be the one doing the asking, not the other way around.

"Eva, as much as I would love to…"

"Great!" The girl chirped.

"No." James stopped her. He couldn't let her think he was going with her.

"No? No what?" Eva asked confused.

"Sorry Eva. I'm already going with someone else." He covered quickly. Lily's heart fell. While James was covering up with Eva, she slipped into the shadows and then away into the halls. When James turned around, he found himself alone. Where had his Lily gone?

"Lily?" He called out. When he got no response, he decided to go looking for her.

Lily knocked lightly on the door and waited patiently to be let in. As the blast of warm air hit her when the door opened, she flung herself into strong arms and just let them hug her.

"Lily!" Hagrid cried out in surprise as the girl flung herself into his arms. He hugged her tightly, knowing something was wrong. Bringing the girl into his house, he sat her down in the warm chair by the fire and handed her a cup of tea. She placed the tea down and hiccupped.

"Lily, what's happened?" Hagrid asked.

"I don't know Hagrid. I don't even know why I'm so sad." She hiccupped again and wiped away hot tears that shimmered in her eyes. It was odd. She always seemed to hiccup when she was upset. 

"Tell us what went wrong?"

"We were at dinner and Professor Dumbledore announced that the formal ball was coming up… and I hate balls, so of course as soon as I had finished dinner I left, but James caught me in the halls, and then when we were talking, this girl came up and asked if he would go with her…"

"And he said yes?"

"No, he said no!"

"Then why are ye so upset?"

"Because he told her he was already going with another girl!" Lily yelled. Her hands flew to her mouth and she gasped. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." Hagrid chuckled.

"It's alright. I understand you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous! I'm just… hurt. I mean, I hate balls, and I don't want to go, but still… I felt… I don't know! What's wrong with me Hagrid? I've never felt so sad, no, not sad, but… _betrayed_ in all my life."

"Lily dear, you wanted to go with James, didn't ye?"

"No! Well, I mean, no. I didn't want to go at all!" She blushed and hiccupped.

"But if you did want to go, you would have wanted to go with him, right?" Hagrid pushed, grinning widely.

"I suppose." She blushed redder still.

"Because you love James."

"No! There is no such thing as love." Just then, the door flew open. 

"Lily! I've been looking for you!" James rushed in, shutting the door behind him. "Hello Hagrid. Now then! Lily! Why'd you run off like that?"

"Hello to you too James." Hagrid sulked slightly.

"James." Lily whispered.

"Lily, what's wrong?" James asked, concerned. He knew when something was wrong, and this was definitely one of those times.

"Nothing. Why would something be wrong?" Lily whispered. 

"Because if nothing were wrong, Lady Lily, you wouldn't have run off."

"Maybe I just wanted to visit Hagrid while you went and saw your girlfriend?" She spat dejectedly.

"Girlfriend?" Now James was very confused. "Lily, you know I don't date."

"Really? I supposed you did now. I mean, you already had a date for the formal, so I just…"

"I do?" James asked. Now everything was coming into picture. Had she been… jealous? James shot Hagrid a questioning glance, and watched the big man wink and nod. As bad as James felt for making Lily feel worried, he also felt euphoric. "Hey Lily?"

"Yes?" She whispered.

"Tell me something?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you want to go to the dance?"

"Because I don't dance." She snipped. She couldn't tell him the real reason. She just couldn't tell James everything… he already knew so much… she was already so liable to get hurt… at least she could save a little piece of her heart from pain if she hid what little she had left.

"Funny." James laughed. Lily looked up.

"What?"

"I don't dance either. Would you like to spend a night with me in common room?" He asked her. Lily blinked in disbelief.

"What? James, your date?"

"I said that to get out of going with Eva. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. So? How about that night?"

"You'd give up the ball just to be with me?"

"In a heartbeat Lady Lily." She said nothing, but flung herself into James' arms. He caught her and hugged her close, inhaling the scent of her sweet perfume. 

"Thank you." She whispered. James simply pulled her in closer, craving more closeness than they had. He loved her… he really did.

"Come on Lily, let's go back to the school. I'm sure everyone is worried about us."

"Alright then. Thank you Hagrid." She smiled at the bigger man.

"Anytime, anytime." He wished them so long, and then they were gone.

)(

"Why don't you take that filthy girlfriend of yours and get lost Black!"

"Yeah! We don't want to look at dirt like that in our halls." 

"Shove it Malfoy, Snape!" Sirius yelled at the two heckling Slytherins. He was standing in front of the Gryffindor common room with Arabella right behind him, just as mad.

"Yeah. Speaking of dirt! You two aren't good enough to wipe the dirt from our feet, so just leave!" She added. Sirius shot her a look, and she backed up, knowing he didn't want her involved. 

"Why you dirty little tramp! I cannot believe she's pure blood! Sickens me." Malfoy shuddered. "I'm leaving. Coming Snape?" Malfoy called as he walked away laughing.

"I'd rather be anywhere than here." Snape called after him. However, he made no move to leave. "How's Lily? I hear she's banging all the boys in Gryffindor. So what do you say Black? Evans any good in bed?" He smirked.

"You dirty, sick bastard!" Sirius screamed in Lily's defense. "Don't you dare go dragging her name through the mud!"

"Why not? She is mud! A mudblood!" Snape laughed.

"Heartless freak!" Arabella screamed.

"Ara, leave. I've got this." Arabella glared at him.

"Don't get into trouble Si, I don't want to have to visit you in the hospital wing while everyone else is dancing." Then she nodded finality and went through the portrait.

"What are you going to do about it Black?" Snape grinned evilly.

"I'll tell you what. Why don't we see how tough you really are? The Whomping Willow, tonight, eleven thirty. Or are you too much of a chicken?" Sirius challenged.

"Never!" Snape spat.

"Then we'll see how tough you really are!"

"Fine. Eleven thirty tonight. You'll regret this Black!" And Snape stormed off. Sirius let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding and stepped through the portrait.

"Is he gone Si?"

"Gone Ara babe. We won't be seeing him for a while, I guarantee it."

"I hope not."

"Seeing who?" Lily asked as she joined them.

"Snape."

"Well, that's good news." Lily smiled.

"Hey Lil! Did you decide to come to the ball?" Sirius grinned.

"No. But James decided he wasn't going. He volunteered to stay with me here in the common room. Nice of him, don't you think?" Arabella and Sirius exchanged glances. "Well, I need to go. I'll see you two later."

"Bye Lily!" They chorused.

"What does Lily think of James?" Sirius asked Arabella.

"What does James think of Lily?" Arabella countered. They smiled evilly.

"She loves him?"

"Lily doesn't believe in love, or so she claims. But she is attracted to him, and for more than just his looks. If I didn't know better, I'd say she's in love with him."

"He's loved her since the beginning of the year. Or at least, it's obvious. He's still denying it. Drives Remus and I crazy most of the time. Oh well."

"Don't you hate not seeing them together?" Ara sighed.

"All in good time dear. If this was some cheesy movie, I'd devise a plan to hook them up, but we all know those plans always backfire."

"Oh Si!"

"No, really!"

"Si, it's late, it's ten. I'm going to go to sleep. I'll see you in the morning, alright?"

"Night hon."

"Night." But Sirius wasn't concentrating on his girlfriend's words. He was contemplating what he was going to do to Snape. Just as his mind began to twist, Peter walked by. "Peter!" He yelled.

"What?" Peter asked dumbly. "Oh, hi Sirius. Listen, tonight's a full moon, are you going to want to visit Remus?" Peter lowered his voice.

"Yeah. You willing to work?" Sirius grinned. This was all too simple.

"Sure. I just had a run in with Snape, so my back is a little sore, but…"

"Snape beat up on you?" Sirius narrowed his eyes and watched Peter's face pucker.

"Again." The pudgy boy confirmed.

"Want to get even?"

"How so?" Peter asked skeptically.

"Want him to have a little run in with a wolf-man?" Peter picked up on Sirius' evil grin. He understood what Sirius wanted to do. And if Sirius thought it was a good idea, chances were James did too. Well, if his two friends thought it was a good idea, maybe they were finally beginning to include him more! 

"I'm in!" Peter rubbed his grubby hands together. "I'll have to cancel a date with Cynthia, but I'm in. What time?"

"Eleven thirty."

"I'll be there." And they went their separate ways- Peter to cancel his date and Sirius to get ready. Unable to find James, Sirius just planned on without him, knowing that his best friend was probably with Lily somewhere, hopefully working out their… feelings.

Soon it was eleven thirty, and Peter and Sirius met under the Whomping Willow. Peter looked nervous- he was wringing his hands and pacing back and forth, while Sirius just kept a mighty smirk upon his face.

"So what's the plan?" Peter finally asked.

"Simple. Change and hide under the willow. Then, when you hear Snape and I talking, you push the knot, and then I'll push Snape into the branches. He'll have to go through the tree and into the Shrieking Shack to get out! After he's past the tree, you let me in, and then we'll watch him squirm! We won't let him get bit or anything, just scare the hell out of him is all! It's brilliant! It'll be the best prank we've ever pulled on the greasy git!" 

"I love it!" Peter exclaimed. Then they heard footsteps, looked at each other, and nodded. Peter slowly shrank, his front teeth becoming longer and yellow, while a long tail appeared and finally fur grew. In his rat form, he slunk under the tree branches and got into position. Sirius simply waited for Snape.

"Black! So here I am! What's your test of strength? Or have you forgotten you don't have enough brains to come up with one?" Snape gloated.

"Really? Trust me, it takes brains to come up with all the pranks I've pulled on you before."

"I thought that was all Potter."

"So you admit James is smart then, huh?"

"No!" Snape reddened, but Sirius just laughed. "You dirty little-" But just as Snape began to speak, the Whomping Willow's branches opened.

"So Snape, still not afraid? Go on ahead, it won't hurt you. Not _much_! The worst part is still to come!" Sirius laughed and pushed Snape into the tree branches, which shut, snapping violently behind him. Sirius laughed wickedly in the night. 

"Hey Sirius. What's so funny? Come on, shut it or you'll wake the whole castle!" Sirius gasped and chocked on the air.

"James!"

"Yeah. Who were you expecting, Snape?" James smirked. 

"Nah, he's already come and gone. Jamesie boy, you missed it! Oh Prongs, it's the best prank yet! We let Snape into the Whomping Willow, and then when he gets into the Shriek Shack, he'll be scared to death! It's great, don't you think?"

"You what!" James yelled. "Sirius! Remus doesn't know to stop himself! What happens if he attacks!" Sirius' grin dropped. 

"I, uh,"

"You didn't think about that, did you? You expected that Snape would know not to get too close! Padfoot!" Just then the branches opened again, and both James and Sirius transformed to run beneath them. 

As they ran, they forgot about Peter, who trailed after them, thinking it was great fun to be pulling such a brilliant plot in Snape. Soon they reached the main room, and managed to catch a glimpse of Snape before he entered the room where Remus was being held. James and Sirius both returned to their human form and called after him.

"Snape, stop! Stop!" But Snape paused only for a moment to look back at them.

"Think I'm chicken do you boys? I'll show you a thing or two about my bravery! Good thing you're here too Potter, wouldn't want this to go to waste!"

"No!" James yelled. 

But it was too late; Snape had already rushed into the room. James and Sirius ran after him and transformed once more into their animagi states. When they entered the room, they found Remus in his werewolf form, hunched over a screaming Snape. Snape had a fat shard of wood in his hands that he was desperately using to try to hold off the werewolf, but with Remus' sharp teeth, it wasn't much help. James ran up and used his stag horns to prod Remus away from Snape and hold him at bay while Sirius grabbed hold of Snape's robes and pulled him out of the room. 

Finally James dashed away from Remus and out the door behind Sirius. He stopped when he saw a bawling Snape holding onto a big, black dog. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Peter scramble towards them in his rat form. And then as Peter slowly became human again, James felt like banging his head against the wall. 

"What?" Snape suddenly saw Peter. He pushed the black dog away from him and looked from one animal to another. Then he glared and began screaming. "You nasty Marauders! You're animagi!" James was the next to decide the jig was up. He returned to his human state and let Snape yell at him. Then Sirius returned to his human form and grinned doggishly.

"Scared Snape?" He snickered. Then he winced. "Damn Snape! Don't you ever cut your fingernails? You dug them into my skin so hard I think you cut me!"

"Cut you? Cut you! You bastard! You could have killed me! I would have become a werewolf! If you we…"

"What is going on here gentlemen?" A very stern McGonagall stood over all four of them. They were in deep this time…

)(

"Tell me boys! What was going through your heads? You could have gotten him killed! Worse! You could have made Remus guilty for turning Severus into a werewolf! Do you have any idea how idiotic, dangerous, and irresponsible you three have been this evening? Why! The nerve! How dare you! This will call for more than your average detention, that I assure you." McGonagall finally had to sit down and put her hand over heart to calm it down.

"You have disappointed me greatly this evening boys. I thought more highly of you than this." Dumbledore frowned as he looked upon the Marauders, minus Remus. 

"Professor, we're terribly sorry." Peter stammered.

"Sorry? Sorry for nearly killing an innocent student? Mr. Pettigrew, sorry will not be enough! This is ground for expulsion!" McGonagall threatened.

"What? Professors, we're sorry! I wasn't thinking, and…" Sirius tried.

"You certainly weren't!"

"Professors?" James asked quietly. "This is all my fault. I'm the one who thought of the prank, I'm the one who forced them into doing. I threatened them if they didn't. It was my fault. Please, if you're going to punish someone, put the blame on me and let them go. They're just as innocent as Snape."

"Mr. Potter?" McGonagall looked heartbroken. "Of all people… And I had thought that you had turned over a new leaf, I really did."

"James. I am sorely disappointed in you." The look on Dumbledore's face practically broke James' heart. 

"James!" Sirius began. But McGonagall held her hand up. "Mr. Black., I think that if Mr. Potter is your friend, you should be rather angry with him for forcing you along. Still, you could have come to one of us with this problem. This doesn't leave you off the hook. Very well." She paused. "Mr. Black, detention for three weeks. Mr. Pettigrew, the same punishment for you. Now then. Mr. Potter. Since you are the above all guilty party, I not only strip you of your position on the House quidditch team, I sentence you to detention for three weeks."

"The quidditch team?" Sirius gasped. But James kept his head downcast.

"Yes Professor."

"And fifty points are being deducted from Gryffindor for all of you. I'm warning you boys. One more slip up at this school, no matter how close you are to graduation, and we will not hesitate to expel you. I hope you realize how dangerous what you tried to do was. Dismissed!" And the boys, too scared to say much else, filed out the door in silence. Half way down the corridor, they started.

"James, you didn't have anything to do with the idea! Why'd you tell her that?" Sirius yelled at him.

"What? You worried that you won't get credit?" James smirked sadly.

"No! More like angry that you thought you should take all the blame!" Sirius yelled.

"Don't worry about it. Besides Sirius- I figure you can replace me on the quidditch team more easily than you could replace yourself."

"Thanks James." Peter growled. He was still mad they had gotten caught. Now his record was once again marred by the two boys he thought were his friends. Some friends! One day they would pay! He would make sure of it. *


	21. Blame Shuffle

Chapter Twenty-One: Blame Shuffle

*"I don't understand what could have happened? What do you mean you nearly got Snape killed last night?" Arabella yelled at Sirius.

"Ara! It was just a prank…"

"Just a prank? Just a prank? Is it just a prank when you nearly kill someone? Sirius, I thought you were more mature than that!"

"Ara,"

"Don't Ara me!" 

"Enough!" Sirius, tired of being berated by his girlfriend, stood and puffed his chest up. "Arabella, listen to me. I wasn't thinking last night. I was so mad at Snape and Malfoy for insulting you that I lost my temper. I challenged Snape to a dare that threatened his life. I'm sorry, ok? I admit, it was a dumb thing to do! I know it! And now my three best friends, McGonagall and Dumbledore, and you are all mad at me. I know I'm a screw up, but you don't have to rub it in my face!" Sirius boomed. Arabella stepped back.

"Someone has to Si. What you did was dangerous. You can't go nearly killing people when they insult someone you care about."

"I don't just care about you Ara!" Sirius regretted those words instantly. Frustrated, he flopped back into the armchair he had just been sitting in. "Ara, maybe that's why it bothered me. Because I don't just care about you, I love you. I realized it that night. And I hated seeing the one person I love insulted by that two-faced walking oil can!"

"Si, you love me?"

"Happy? You know I've never told a girl that before?"

"I know." Arabella looked at him and sighed. "I love you too Sirius."

"You do?"

"Of course! That's why _I'm_ so mad at you! Because the guy I love nearly ruined himself and his friends. Si, you need to control your temper."

"I know Ara." Feeling bad about their fight, Arabella moved towards her boyfriend and wrapped her arms around him, holding him. He returned the favor, and they stayed comfortably that way for a few moments.

"Si, what was the dare?" Arabella suddenly asked.

"I'm not allowed to tell. I'm sworn to secrecy." He smoothed things over.

"Sworn to secrecy? By who?" Ara narrowed her eyes. If it was some Marauders thing he was leaving her out of again…

"To Dumbledore Ara. Otherwise I would tell you, you know I would." He smiled slightly. 

"Of course Si."

"I still feel bad though. I mean, I let James take the blame and everything…"

"But you told me you tried to stop him."

"I did. McGonagall wouldn't listen. I've tried to talk to her a million times about it, but she refuses to want to think about it. She's really upset Ara. And if you had sent he look in Dumbledore's eyes when he looked at James… and James just stood there, taking the blame. I feel guilty as hell!"

"If you've tried you've tried Si. You need to stop thinking about it. What's past is past. Try not to concentrate on it. Just remember the lesson you learned and don't repeat the mistake. It's the only way to move on."

"You're right. But it'll be hard."

"I'll help you." As Sirius and Ara spoke, across the school grounds another couple was doing much the same. 

"So how's Remus taking all of this?" Lily asked James. They were lying on their stomachs in Hagrid's hut, hot cocoa in mugs beside them. Hagrid had just stepped out of the house to feed his newest pets… giant Shreweeds. James had just clued Lily and Hagrid in on the situation, and neither of them knew quite what to say.

"He's mad at Sirius of course. But the funny thing is, he and Sirius had a long chat this afternoon, and afterwards, when I asked Remus if he was still mad, he said yes, but he understood why Sirius had done it."

"He did?"

"Yeah. But that's what I don't get. Sirius and I are best friends. Why wouldn't he tell me why he did it?"

"Maybe it was something so personal that the only reason he told Remus is because he felt he needed to explain himself." Lily whispered quietly. They stared into the flames of the flickering fireplace.

"Maybe. But I thought I knew Sirius front and back. It just… it's weird Lil. It's like I don't know my friends anymore."

"People change James. We can't help it. Maybe you should just try asking Sirius why he did it?" She suggested. It pained her to see James so worried. He was always there for her, always happy and upbeat. If she could do just one thing, say one thing, to make him happy again, it would be well worth it in her eyes.

"Maybe."

"So does Remus know the truth that you took all the blame?"

"Yeah. I think Sirius went out of his way to explain that, because Remus and I are the same as always. Its just Sirius that's changed."

"Dumbledore and McGonagall didn't find out about your animagus abilities, did they?"

"No, thank God. Remus was worried… he thinks it's his fault we've done so many illegal things like that, and it would have killed him to betray Dumbledore's trust."

"James? What you did for your friends? It was very noble." Lily whispered. James rolled onto his side and propped his head on his hand and smirked.

"You make me sound like a knight in shining armor Lily."

"Well, a knight in black robes anyway." She lowered her eyes.

"I just hope it helps them out. I like to protect my friends."

"Me too." A long silence befell them as James stared at Lily and she stared into the rug on the floor.

"Hey Lil, what are you doing this Christmas?" James suddenly asked.

"Going home I suppose. Maybe my parents will be back to normal now that Petunia's wedding is over. You know, this summer was so odd. They've always been so supportive of me, but I suppose the stress of the wedding just got to them. I'm hoping to have them back to normal. Are you going to Sirius' house?"

"If he'll have me."

"James Potter! Sirius is your friend. Your best friend. When I said people change, I meant that they grow and mature. Friendships like yours and Sirius'? They last forever."

"Yeah Lil." He paused. "Up for some sweets?"

"Would that involve chocolate?" She asked. He loved the mirth in her eyes. She had suddenly become so optimistic about everything… it was nice to finally have the real Lily shining through on the outside of her former doom and gloom self.

"I think we can manage chocolate for the lady!" He jumped up and pulled her to her feet. They laughed and bundled up. After yelling a few goodbyes to Hagrid, they left for the castle in the chilly December air.

)(

"Lily! I still cannot believe you aren't going! I mean, it's going to be so much fun, I wish you'd come!"

"Ara, I just can't. I've never been to a formal ball, I wouldn't know how to dress, act, talk, dance, eat, and all those other things. And besides, I wouldn't have a date-"

"So take James! And then you two will dance the night away under the enchanted dance decorations and slow love songs." As Ara spoke, she spun around the room, holding her dress robes up and dancing with them. A dreamy smile crossed her face. Lily laughed.

"Ara! That isn't how real life is! Only in fairytales does that happen! What's got into you? All of a sudden you're Miss. Romance."

"Oh I don't know. Maybe I'm in love!" Ara announced happily.

"There isn't any such thing as love. It's all nonsense!" Lily frowned.

"Well, then I'm nonsense!" Ara winked. Lily wrinkled her nose.

"Well then, is this 'love' of yours the same guy you've been dating all year?"

"Maybe."

"And does he return these nonsense feelings?"

"Oh Lily! He does! He told me he loved me the night after that whole fiasco with the dare! And that he had realized he loved me that very night! Can you imagine? Did you know that's the reason Sirius came up with the idea for the dare? Because he was so mad at Snape and Malfoy for insulting me? I mean, it was a horrible, terrible thing, but it had sweet intentions!"

"It nearly got Snape killed! I mean, I don't like the boy, but death?" Lily gasped.

"Well, anyway. I just told him he had to control his temper. And then I told him I loved him too! Oh Lily, love is a wonderful thing!"

"I'm happy you're happy Ara."

"Now will you come to the ball?"

"Nope."

"Lil!"

"Sorry! James and I already have plans! We're going to sit and do nothing. Sounds like fun doesn't it?"

"Sounds rather boring if you ask me." Ara looked at the red head skeptically.

"No. It sounds just right. Hey, you'd better hurry, you only have an hour to get ready."

"Oh no! And I bet all the hot water is gone too!" And Ara ran out of the room, leaving Lily to collapse on her bed.

When Arabella returned, Lily looked at her stunned. She couldn't believe it! In a matter if one hour, Arabella had gone from her school uniform to looking fantastic in a deep violet dress that brought out the rich blue of her eyes. She looked so graceful… Lily felt a slight pang of jealousy for her friend. Arabella was everything she would never be. She was popular, good looking, well liked, well-groomed, smart, and poised. Then Lily shook her head. No. She would be happy for her friend, after all, that was her job as a friend.

"Ara, you look beautiful!" Lily commented her. Ara noticed a flash of jade in Lily's eyes, but didn't understand. Why were Lily's eyes changing color? She had never noticed that before. Oh well, they were back to their usual color. And she had commented her!

"Oh, thanks Lily! Do you like my robe?"

"Yes, I like the color. It brings out your eyes." Lily told her, blushing. Then Lily grabbed Ara's hand and pulled her over to sit at the vanity in their room.

"What are you doing?" Ara asked.

"Watch and see." Lily told her quietly. Quickly she grabbed a few makeup utensils, and in a few moments she was done. Ara turned to the mirror and gasped. Her eye shadow had gone from a dull, light peach to a deep silver outlined in violet. Sparkles shimmered just lightly, and the total effect was nothing short of stunning.

"Lily! My eyes! They're gorgeous! How did you do that?"

"I may have worn black all those years, but if there's one thing I pride myself on, it's my ability to apply makeup." Lily replied. Now her friend was ready.

"Thank you Lily." Ara said, hugging her friend gently.

"Sure. You'd better go; you wouldn't want to be late, now would you? Si would blame me." The laughed and Ara nodded. They snuck up on the boys, who happened to be waiting for them outside the common room.

"And Ara says her dress is violet, but I wasn't sure what color violet was, so I…"

"Si, you could have just asked me. I would have told you violet was purple." Ara laughed. When Sirius and James turned around, the hall went silent.

"I think that means they like it Ara." Lily whispered.

"Never! I've never seen anyone as…" Sirius began. As they walked off down the hall towards the Great Hall, Lily looked at James.

"You should probably go put on your dress robes."

"Why's that?" James asked.

"Aren't you going?"

"I already said…"

"James, listen to me. Don't stay here on my account. Really. Go! Have fun. Be a party animal, or whatever you and the Marauders are at these balls. I'm serious."

"Lily, I want to stay with you." James looked confused. Why was she suddenly backing out of this?

"James… I think you should go. Why waste your time?"

"Because I think that the biggest waste of time would be to do something without you. Come on Lady Lily. Let's go back into the common room and relax. We've got time to kill."

"James…"

"Come on! March young lady!"

"Young lady? I happen to be seventeen!" She told him. He blinked.

"What? That would make you a sixth year…"

"No. I skipped a year in muggle school, so my letter came a year early."

"Lil! No one's ever done that before!" James looked shocked.

"Not that you know of." She brushed it off. As they settled down in their respective armchairs near the fire, Lily cleared her throat. "James?"

"Yes?"

"Have you and Sirius made up yet?" James shifted, and from the change in his eyes, she could tell this was not the best subject she could have touched on.

"We're talking, but for some reason… I don't know. Things are strained."

"I think I know why."

"What's that Lily?"

"Ara told me something tonight. Something that gave Sirius his motivation for sending Snape into the Whomping Willow." She stopped, and seeing James' eyes widen, she took a deep breath and hoped this would help him. "You see, Snape had been tormenting Ara in front of Sirius, and of course he lost his temper and challenged Snape. At first I didn't see why Sirius didn't just hit him for it, but I suppose what Ara said makes a little sense. See, that same night Sirius had just figured out that he 'loved' Ara." James shot up from his chair and grabbed Lily's shoulders gently.

"Sirius is in love? Impossible! He doesn't fall in love! He's the untamable wild dog!" James laughed deeply.

"Well, _Prongs_, it looks like he's got a new master." Lily had to smile a little. He was like a little kid who had just found out a huge secret.

"So then he did it out of love… no wonder!" James let go of Lily and began pacing around the room.

"Huh?" She asked, sure that he was happier, not quite sure _why_.

"See, I knew something had changed in Sirius. And when Remus understood, but Sirius hadn't told me…now it all makes sense! Sirius told Remus to help make Remus understand why he did it, but he didn't tell me because he thought I'd laugh if I knew. Poor idiot. Thanks for telling me this Lily. It really clears a lot up." And it did… after all, if it had been Lily Snape was making fun of, he would have done the same thing.

"I'm glad James. I would hate to see you and your best friend split apart."

"Me too." James smiled a true smile at her for the first time in a week, and Lily's heart jumped. "So Lils, up for a game of chess?"

"You're on!"

)(

"Professor!" Ara smiled at McGonagall as she walked by.

"Hello Ms. Figg. Enjoying yourself I hope?"

"Yes. The Head boy and girl really outdid themselves this year. And the food is great! The house elves did a great job."

"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." And McGonagall was gone.

"You can come out now Si." Ara yelled under the table.

"Man. This guilty conscience thing is really getting to me. I feel so bad that I let James take the blame that I can't even enjoy myself!" Sirius whined.

"Hush! You tried to tell that woman numerous times, remember? But she won't listen to you, so stop feeling guilty."

"I can't help it!"

"Sirius!"

"What?"

"Look who's here!" Ara hissed. 

"Who?"

"Snape! Severus Snape is here!"

"You're joking me."

"No! He's by the punch with Malfoy and a few others… Goyle and Donner I think. I didn't know he was healthy enough to come tonight! He couldn't even drag himself up from bed to come to class. But he doesn't look well, that much is for certain. He's so pale; he barely looks well enough to smirk. Wonder if he's ill?"

"Hey, Ara? This could be a problem. I'm getting thirsty. But I'm not letting you go over there alone, so don't even think about it."

"Can you wait till they leave Si?"

"I've been waiting for a minute now. I'm parched."

"Fine. We'll go together." As they neared the punch table, they overheard a few of the Slytherin jokes. Sirius had the urge to reach out and strangle them, but he held himself back. That was, until Malfoy caught sight of him.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Black."

"Hello." Sirius remained calm.

"How's your bitch tonight? She's looking pretty good. Mind if I steal a dance?"

"Yes. She happens to be my girlfriend, so please leave us alone." Sirius muttered forcedly. Ara looked around her and to her surprise, she caught McGonagall's eye. McGonagall, seeing something was going to happen just because of the company at the punch table, didn't hesitate in making her way over. Just as she reached the table, she over heard the last bit of the conversation.

"If you hadn't made up the dare for me to go into that house, I never would have gotten injured!" Snape yelled weakly. Then he doubled over and coughed.

"And if you hadn't insulted Ara, I wouldn't have had to! You're lucky James knocked some sense into me when he did and saved your life Snape. Face it, you're indebted to him."

"That may be. But I don't need to be reminded of it by you!"

"That will be quite enough gentlemen. Mr. Snape, please go loiter around another part of the Hall." Then she turned to Sirius as Snape and company sulked away. "Now. What is this about Sirius being responsible for the incident?" McGonagall narrowed her eyes.

"What I've been trying to tell you for the last week Professor. I'm the one who devised the plan to get Snape into the…situation. James is the one who stopped me before it was too late and saved Snape's life. Then he took the blame."

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" McGonagall snapped.

"Because you wouldn't listen. Every time I tried to tell you, you told me to forget it. But I can't! I feel horrible! James doesn't deserve the punishment!" McGonagall reddened. She slightly sputtered, then managed to collect herself.

"You mean you've been trying to tell me for the past week that James is innocent of the blame? And that he took the blame voluntarily?"

"That's right Professor. Si really came up with the idea. See, he was mad at Snape for making fun of me earlier." Ara stepped in. "He simply wanted revenge, and it went too far."

"Professor, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I mean, not only were you and Professor Dumbledore angry, but also my girlfriend was mad, and I almost lost my two best friends. I didn't even think it would go that far when Snape was in there. It was a good thing James came around and knocked some sense into me." Sirius confessed. McGonagall was taken aback by the tears she could see glistening in his eyes. The boy truly was sorry…

"Well Mr. Black. I can't say I'm pleased with you. But I can't say I'm not partially to blame for blaming the wrong person. I can see that you truly are sorry for your deeds. Of course, this doesn't excuse you from the detentions… in fact, I'm adding an extra week."

"What about James?" Ara asked.

"Well, Mr. Potter was innocent and in fact a hero as far I have been able to discern. I shall have to speak with him about his punishment… do you two know where I can find him?"

"He's not here tonight Professor." Sirius told her.

"He's not? James Potter is missing the formal ball? The same captain of the quidditch team and head of the Marauders? Is missing the formal ball?" McGonagall's eyebrows rose in surprise. 

"Yeah. He wanted to stay with Lily."

"Evans? That's right… I don't believe Miss Evans has ever attended a dance here. In fact, I don't believe she had ever even gone to a quidditch game until last year. And you say James is with her?"

"Yes Professor. They've grown very close…" Sirius winked and Ara elbowed him.

"What Si means is that they both like each other, but neither will admit it. Lily doesn't like crowds or dancing, so James offered to stay in the common room with her tonight."

"Well. I never would have thought of those two…" McGonagall smiled to herself. Lily Evans and James Potter. A sweet, fitting pair. Both were compassionate, bright, and thoughtful. They were a good couple. No doubt James' sudden change in attitude was due to her… and Miss Evans' sudden boldness was due to him… they were like night and day, but together they became dusk or dawn, the best of both worlds.

"Professor? If you don't mind me asking, what are you going to do about James' punishment?" Sirius asked.

"I think it only fitting I lift his bar from quidditch of course." McGonagall smiled. "Go back to dancing Mr. Black, Miss Figg. I'll deal with Mr. Potter from here."

"Thank you Professor!" Ara smiled and dragged Sirius away before he could do more damage. McGonagall watched them go, then went to find James.

)(

"Check." James announced happily. And then his face fell as he watched Lily smirk.

"Check. Mate." She smiled brightly.

"No!" James pounded his head down on the table. "I always lose to you! How do you do it?"

"Magic!" She taunted him, a faint smile playing across her pink lips. James' breath caught in his throat and he felt slightly dizzy. She was so pretty and sweet…

"Lady Lily, would you grant this losing man one last request?"

"Of course."

"A dance." He stood and offered his hand to her. She flushed and James watched the red creep onto her pale cheeks as her emerald eyes sparkled.

"James, I can't…there's no… right here… alright." She finally conceded. And she took his hand. He pulled her close to him, and she put her arms around his neck as he held onto her waist. As they spun, gradually they got closer together, and finally Lily rested her head upon James' shoulder. Both of them inwardly sighed. They were dancing, spinning around in circles to unheard slow songs. Maybe they were in a fairytale after all…

When Professor McGonagall walked into the common room, she stopped and her breath caught. Silently she watched the two children as they danced to music only they could hear. They made such a fine couple… so innocent and happy… And she decided her news could wait until the morning. As silently as she had walked in, she crept back out, careful not to disturb the pristine scene she had just witnessed. *


	22. Tears of Confession

Chapter Twenty-Two: Of Tears and Confessions

*Christmas had come and gone, and yet people were still speaking of the formal ball. Apparently quite a few scandals had erupted during the ball, and no one seemed quite willing to forget them just yet. After all, everyone at Hogwarts naturally understood that when people wanted to keep something quiet, it would be the talk of the school for quite a while.

One of the larger, more humorous scandals that developed was the public dumping of Peter by his long time girlfriend, Cynthia Yumi from Hufflepuff. The Marauders had long since seemed like a clique that was untouchable by gossip and slander, but now they were hit hard. As a natural reflex of the problem, Peter faded into the shadows for a while and allowed his three other friends to take most of the hardcore insults. This, of course, lead to numerous pranks fests for revenge, and soon all of Hogwarts was in turmoil.

No one knew where the Marauders would strike next. They only knew that if they wanted to be left alone, they should treat the Marauders, Arabella Figg, and creepy Lily Evans with the utmost respect. However, by the third week back, the Marauders decided enough was enough. They had reaffirmed their power as the most influential and dangerous group in school, as well as had fun doing it. They could take their minds off of protecting their reputations and redirect the focus into more personal issues, such as their schoolwork and friendships.

"Hey Lil!"

"Oh, hi Ara." Lily replied gently back, giving her friend a small smile.

"So what's new Lily?"

"Nothing. Why would anything be new?"

"Lily? Is something wrong? You've been acting different lately." Ara asked her friend, her concern obvious.

"No, everything's fine. Nothing's wrong." Lily plastered a fake smile on her lips. Ara knew her friend was lying, but she also knew that when Lily did this it meant she didn't want to speak about it.

"Alright then Lil. Look, I need to get to the Astronomy Tower… I'm actually doing a report on the constellation Orion. Can you believe it? Of course Sirius wanted to bring a blanket and sit with me all night, but I told him to forget it. He may love me, but he can love me without having _that_ part of me!"

"Yeah, right." Lily laughed nervously.

"Bye Lils!" And Ara ran off. Lily watched her go, then slunk into the shadows. She was so tired, her head hurt, she just wanted to disappear… 

"Hey James!" Ara called as she walked by James, who was wiping mud from his face. Quidditch practice in the rain must not have treated him too nicely. Too bad he was the captain. On the other hand, she didn't suppose he minded a rough practice. It must have been better than not playing at all.

"Hey Ara. Ara, wait!" James ran to catch up with her. He needed a second opinion. "I have a question about Lily for you. Have you noticed she's been acting weird lately?"

"Yes! I just saw her, and she's so… well, she's almost as quiet as she was when we first met her. But she hasn't used the word 'freak' once, so I assumed it wasn't her sister again."

"Did you have any other ideas on why she was acting so depressed?" James asked. He needed to know. He wanted to help Lily, to tell her how much he cared, but he didn't want to push something that she didn't want to discuss- especially if he didn't know what it was in the first place. He needed to be armed when he finally confronted her.

"I was thinking… do you think it could have something to do with those attacks on muggles in France? I mean, Lily is from a muggle family, maybe she's just getting paranoid."

"Yeah, maybe."

"But James? I don't think that's all. Honestly? I think there's something a lot deeper going on than that. I just don't know what, and she refuses to mention what's bothering her. Talk to her! Please? I miss my best friend!" Ara begged.

"I plan to. Don't worry Ara. I'll figure this out."

"Good luck. I have to get going now, I'll see you later James."

"Bye Ara!" James stood thinking for a moment and then blinked. "Damn! I still need to take a shower and it's almost time for dinner!" He berated himself for standing around and rushed off to the showers.

Dinner was never silent when the Marauders were around. But tonight, none of them felt like chatting. Peter was missing… he seemed to have disappeared again. 'Probably hiding from the gossip mongers.' James thought.' Then again, Peter has been looking so ill lately… and he's usually following wither Lily or me… he's so strange.' James shook his mind from Peter and looked at Remus. 

Remus. He had just finished a full moon, and though he was relieved it was over, he was still feeling weak from the power drain of the transformation. Sirius looked, for the first time in years, over worked and run down. He was practically falling asleep at the table, and Arabella, who was beside him, was in much the same condition. 

It seemed school was taking a heavy toll on the seventh years, especially the problems of thinking about what their futures held. James himself was beginning to feel the pressure, but he was not nearly as stressed as others yet. He knew it was only a matter of time before he ended up like his friends. 

And Lily? Well, Lily was still silent. She had been that way since her return from the Christmas break, and it was beginning to really worry James. She was silent, rarely smiled a real smile anymore, and had begun to draw away from him. Before break they had been closer than ever before, and now… it was like she was drifting away. James hated the thought that he was losing the one he loved the most to an unnamed source.

"Lily? You should really eat something." He told her. She hadn't touched her meal. In fact, lately she had hardly touched any of her meals. James was not only worried about her silence, but her physical health.

"I'm not hungry James."

"Please Lady Lily? Those house elves work hard to make the food, put it to good use." He teased.

"I know. I'm sorry." She conceded and put a fork-full of mashed potatoes into her mouth and chewed mechanically. As she swallowed, a loud screech rang out in the Great Hall. An owl? This late? The owl flew into the room, circled for a moment, then dropped the letter onto the Gryffindor table. 

More specifically, it dropped the letter into Lily's hands. For a brief moment she stared at the letter. Then she ripped it open, and, well aware that all of Hogwarts had their eyes directed at her, she read the letter. When she placed the letter back into the envelope and picked up her fork again, people turned back to their food disappointed they hadn't gotten more of a show. 

"Lily? What did the letter say?" Ara asked, her focus now centered on her friend.

"Nothing important. It was just a letter." Lily told her as she dropped her fork. "I'm going to go to bed, I'm tired." And with that, she abruptly stood and left. The Marauders and Arabella looked at each other, and then at James.

"I don't know why she's acting this way." He told them, flushing under their scrutiny. "I'm going to talk with her tomorrow."

"You had better James. She's getting worse." Ara whispered.

"I know." He whispered back.

)(

James couldn't sleep. His dreams, usually in color, had been invaded by black and white pictures. He didn't understand why, but he did know he couldn't sleep with them as they were. Sitting up in bed, he rubbed his head. Not only had the dream been in black and white, but it had been… weird. 

It had begun as the same dream that had plagued him since he had first been knocked out by Sirius and Remus. The same figure of a girl in the darkness of a storm. She had been standing on a cliff once again, near crashing waves and lightening. But from then on, the dream had changed. Instead of the cliff breaking below the girl, she jumped off into the waves. She still did not scream, but this time she was not saved. She did not magically appear back on the cliffs, she merely kept falling until she hit the bottom, where her limp body had been dragged away by the waves. 

The dream repeated itself a second time after he had woken up and then fallen back to sleep. The difference was, in the second dream, when the girl jumped off the cliffs, a large stag appeared in the middle of the dream and caught her. Then the stag rode off into the distance with the girl on his back, outrunning the storm. 

James was sure it was telling him something. But what? Why would that dream be repeating in his mind over and over again with different endings? It just didn't make any sense! James stood up and pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a loose shirt. As he walked down the steps to the common room, his bare feet padded on the cold stone floors and echoed in the corridors. 

When he entered the cold common room, he shuddered. Then his ears picked up on a foreign sound. Crying. Someone was crying. He made out a dim silhouette curled up in the armchair closest to the fireplace. He didn't want to disturb them, but he wanted to know… Lily! He would know that red hair anywhere!

"Lily?" He called out softly. He heard her gasp.

"James?" She croaked, trying to wipe away her tears.

"Lily! What's wrong?" James asked frantically as he rushed over to her and knelt by the chair. He brought his hands up and cupped her cheeks in them, using his thumbs to wipe away the hot tears that still fell. 

"James! The letter..."

"What did the letter say Lily? Who made you cry? Just tell me and I swear I'll murder them!" He growled.

"My parents are dead." She whispered, so low he barely heard her. But he did.

"Your… parents?"

"Voldemort…they were at an opera and during the show they were attacked." She spoke mechanically, as if she were a robot. Each word she said took on new meaning. It still hadn't fully reached her. Her parents were _dead_. They were never coming back. They would never kiss her again, hug her again, she would never see them again. It was over. New tears spilled over.

"They're dead James! Dead!" She sobbed. 

"Jesus Lily!" He swore and pulled her into his arms from the chair. Holding her close, he rocked her as she cried into his chest, wetting his shirt and letting go of the pain.

No wonder she wanted to go to bed early! He was amazed she had been able to hold this in as long as she had. He would have broken down into immediate tears… hell, he _had_ broken down into immediate tears when he had found out his parents had died. But that had been over the summer, and he had had Sirius to help him through it. Lily… Lily hadn't told anyone! She had just gone on as if nothing was wrong.

"They're really gone, huh James?" She asked when her tears had finally stopped. But she still had her eyes closed tightly, as if that would help to take some of the pain away.

"Yes Lily, they're gone. But you can still remember them…"

"I don't want to remember them!" She yelled out in a sudden burst of anger. I want them back so I can look at them! So I can talk to them and hug them! It isn't fair James! They were my parents! They aren't supposed to die until I'm married and have three kids! They're supposed to live until they're over a hundred years old! It isn't fair to take them now!"

"I know Lily." James hugged her tighter.

"I just want them back! Why them? Why not someone else's parents? Why mine?"

"I don't know Lily. I asked the same question when Voldemort killed my parents. The truth is, you'll never know why they were picked out of everyone else. But you can guess."

"I don't want to guess! I don't want to have to guess! I want them back!"

"Other people needed them Lily. There's a bigger plan in the scheme of things Lil, and it was your parents' time to go and join that bigger plan. We can't be selfish and keep them here when they're needed somewhere else to do something else."

"I want to be selfish! I needed them here, to be with me!"

"I know Lily, I know. It's ok. Cry it out."

"Mother…." She sobbed again. She cried until her voice was hoarse, her throat numb, and her tears gone. But still the pain in her heart didn't fade. The tears never stopped the pain, only made it easier to bare.

James ended up with Lily sitting in his lap as she laid her head against his chest. His arms were still wrapped around her, and he had no intention of removing them. He was glad he was here for her; otherwise she might have collapsed and had no one to help her through it. But something still nagged at his brain.

"Lily? You feel up to talking now?" He asked her gently.

"Yeah." She whispered. She felt so warm and comfortable she felt like she could do anything.

"Lil, ever since you got back from Christmas Vacation you've been quiet and sad. What's wrong Lily?" 

"Nothing."

"Lily. Don't lie. I know you better than you'd like to think. I know when you're happy, and I know when you're sad. You've been depressed for a while. Lily, I only want to help you. Get it all off your chest, please. You'll feel better if you do."

"I can't. You'll laugh." She softly.

"Lily. This is me, James. I'm not Sirius, and I'm not a clown. I would never laugh at you, I promise."

"James, ever since I went home for summer, nothing's been the same. Petunia's wedding and marriage changed everything."

"How? Other than the fact that you now have a pig for a brother in law?" He smirked, trying to lighten the mood. 

"You promised."

"I'm sorry. Keep going."

"Ever since Petunia announced her wedding, I started thinking. I'm such a freak. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I can't fit in well with others, I can't do anything that everyone else can do-"

"Lily! That is not true!" James was going to settle this once and for all. "Lily. You are gorgeous. Seriously, I can't think of a more beautiful person in this school when you're smiling. You light up a room. And you're top in our class! I don't know why you don't think you're not smart- numbers don't lie. As for fitting in, I thought we had established the fact that you hang out on a regular basis with the coolest group in Hogwarts? You are not a freak! You are a beautiful, sweet girl, woman, who anyone would kill for if someone hurt you, including me." He smirked again at the double meaning hidden in his words.

"That's just it! As much as I love Petunia, I know she isn't the nicest girl. Still, she managed to fall in love, even if it was with a creep, who loved her back. I saw that over the Christmas break. But James, I'll never find love. You said people would kill for me? No! No one would ever love me that much!" She sniffed. James was shocked.

"Lily, I thought you didn't believe in love?" He asked, very slowly. He needed to make sure…

"I don't!" She shook her head.

"Then why do you care?"

"I don't know!"

"Ok. Lily, tell me why you don't think love exists." James suggested.

"Love is an emotion we've created in our minds. It is not a real feeling, more of an excuse for two people to say they've become closer together. 'Love' is comprised of a mixture between two different emotions: lust, and fear. The lust is the main attraction. The fear is a fear of loneliness. People don't ultimately want to be alone, so they stay together out of fear of being alone. That is what 'love' really is in my eyes." Lily sat in James' warm lap, mentally berating herself for letting herself be dragged into this debate now, when she was already emotionally weak because of her parents… her parents! God she already missed them…

"Lily, do you really believe that?" James asked in awe. It was a well thought out approach to love, but it still had its faults, like every other theory.

"Yes."

"But what about the unconditional love a mother feels for her children? Or the love between a brother and a sister? Or between a friendship? Are all of those false?"

"Maybe. I don't know!" Lily shook she head, trying to clear her mind.

"Lily, why don't you think you'll find love if that is all love is, just lust and fear? I can think of at least ten other guys who lust after you and fear being alone. They wouldn't mind hooking up with you. But what makes that hook up special? Nothing, because it wasn't built on the trust and faith and give and take relationship true love is built on. Sure, lust and fear may be the basics of love, but there has to be more. Otherwise…" James gulped. 

"Otherwise?" Lily echoed.

"Otherwise I wouldn't know how to describe what I feel for you." He heard Lily slightly gasp, but grew bolder and continued. "Lily, what I feel for you, yes, lust is a part of it. But there's more than lust. I'm not scared of being alone if I never find the person I want to be with either. But Lily, I have found the person I want to be with-you. And even then, my love for you is more than just lust and fear." James buried his head in the crook of Lily's neck and a single tear fell. 

"Lily, I like helping you with your problems and when you help me with mine. I like hearing your voice, your laughter. I feel warm when you're happy, and I feel cold when you're sad. My emotions change depending on you. That isn't fear or lust. That is a sign of deep care for another person. Lily, I love every little thing about you, down to the fact that when you're mad or jealous your eyes change color, or the fact that you always blush when I call you lovely Lady Lily. I love you." He finished. Pulling his head up, he dared to look her in the eye.

"James…" She breathed. 

"I know this sounds horrible and fake, but I can't help it Lil. I don't know how else to tell you." James lowered his head. They stayed in silence for a long moment, simply breathing in the moment.

Lily looked at James. He had his head bent, but she could still see his face. His entire expression was one ridden with hope, pain, fear, and something indescribable. His dark, coffee-colored hair was messy and wild, as it always was. His jaw was set stubbornly waiting for her response, and her breath caught as she look at his eyes. The bottomless chocolate pools hypnotized her like she had never known before. She felt drawn to him, pulled in by his immense heart and desperate hope. She couldn't describe the feeling- except for love. It was the only explanation her mind could rationalize.

"James." She whispered. He looked up hearing her sweet voice chime upon his ears. She kept on. "I've been so worried with not believing in love that I never labeled what I truly felt for you. All this time I've been so scared of being alone and never feeling deeply cared for… But you… you've changed everything!" 

More tears leaked from her eyes and dripped slowly down her tear stained, porcelain cheeks. He crystalline emerald eyes shimmered with unreadable emotions as tears welled up. She pushed her long red hair back and looked up to meet James' gaze. God, she felt like she could drown in his chocolate eyes forever. They were so deep, so concerned and worried. She felt so…loved. And then she gasped.

"I cannot believe it." She whispered. The realization she had already made struck her.

"What?" James asked.

"I… I… I love you. James… how could anybody not help but love you?" And she did. She really did. "James, I cannot believe it took me so long to realize it. I've loved you since the day you first called me Lily and not Miss Evans."

"Re, really?" James asked in wonder. He had always hoped, dreamed, but never truly believed he had ever stood a chance…

"Yes." She whispered. Slowly Lily brought her hand up and traced James' tear streaks down his face lightly with her fingertips. She brushed her fingers over his lips and blushed. "I trust you more than anyone else. You're always there for me, always ready to help me solve a problem or to drag me into trying something new. You've been there to protect me, to keep me safe and defend me. James… I love you. And all this time I had myself fooled into thinking there was no such thing as love. But if there isn't such a thing, then I have no label for what I am feeling. Just know that I care as deeply about you as you say you care about me."

"Good enough for me Lily." For a moment longer they stared into each other's eyes. And then James closed the gap between their lips and softly caressed hers in a gentle kiss. Ever so delicately he explored her lips, testing and waiting for her to respond. He went slowly, savoring every little taste she had to offer him. Lily tasted of sugar and smelled of chocolate, the perfect combination for her. She was sweet and innocent, but strong and compassionate. God he loved her.

It was her first kiss, and she was hesitant to be too bold. But as she felt James' soft lips pressed against her own, she responded as best she could, letting him guide her. He went slowly, as if he were afraid of scaring her away. Lily leaned in and ran her hands through James' hair. The kiss instantly became deeper. Tenderness was exchanged for passion as the man and woman realized their dreams for so long. Lily moaned, unable to fully comprehend how James was able to make her feel so dizzy and lightheaded with one simple kiss. But that was part of the reason she loved him, because he was so perfect in everything he did for her. When they finally broke, they were both breathless and speechless.

"Lily, are you alright?" He whispered. She could do no more than nod. "I'm glad. I love you Lily Evans. Don't ever think I don't."

"I love you too James Potter." She yawned.

"I think it's time for us to go back to sleep. Will you be all right for tonight?" He asked, concerned she might still be too upset over the death of her parents to sleep.

"I'll be fine." She stood up and James followed in suit. "Thank you James. For listening to my problems, holding me when I cried, and teaching me what love is."

"Anytime Lady Lily. Sleep well love."

"Night." She smiled a true smile at him, then pecked his cheek and disappeared through the doors to the dorms. James stood a moment later, contemplating the evening's events. For all the times he had regretted taking that divinations class, he suddenly was very thankful he had. Dreams were useful occasionally. Then he smiled. She loved him. Sleep came easily to him the moment his head touched the pillow, his dreams filled with a sweet and angelic face. *


	23. Graduation of Love

Epilogue: Graduation of Love

*When Lily awoke the next morning, despite her painful memories of her parents, she smiled brightly. The window beside her bed showed another gray and rainy day, but her heart was bursting with happiness.

"Hey Lily!" Ara greeted her uncertainly.

"Morning Ara!" Lily chirped. Ara's jaw dropped.

"Lils?"

"Yes?"

"Are you feeling alright?" Arabella asked concerned her friend had somehow gone mental overnight.

"Fine. I'm sorry I've been in such a rotten mood lately. Ara, sit." Lily asked her, her smile dropping.

"What's wrong Lils?"

"Last night when the owl came, I got word that my, my," Lily had to break and swallow hard before finishing. "I got word that my parents were killed by Voldemort." Arabella gasped. Being a pureblood she understood how terrible Voldemort truly was.

"Oh Lily! I'm so sorry!" Ara reached over and hugged Lily hard. Lily returned the hug and quickly wiped away any trace of tears that had threatened to fall. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Lily…"

"No, really. Last night I was down in the common room and James came down, and we had it out. He helped me a lot Ara. I'm doing much better than I was last night."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Really. It will take me some… time… before I can start speaking about this normally without tearing up, but I'm going to be fine. I just miss them."

"I'm so sorry Lils." Ara looked at her friend. "Cheer up Lil, please don't be sad. I know it has to be hard, you must have loved them so much…"

"I did. I loved them so much…" Lily echoed. "But the way James explained it to me, they were needed by someone else as something else somewhere else, and it would be selfish of me to hoard them to myself. As much as I love them, I know they're where they are needed the most."

"Yeah." The conversation died for a moment while both girls sorted out their thoughts.

"Come on Lils, let's get dressed."

"Ok." Once they were finished dressing, they went down to the Great Hall and snagged two of their regular seats. As Ara filled her plate with scrambled eggs and toast, Lily sipped on a glass of orange juice.

"Morning lovely ladies!" Sirius boomed as he and Remus entered the Hall. They grabbed seats and Arabella stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend.

"I'm only lovely am I?" Ara pouted.

"No! I mean, you're gorgeous Ara! You have the body of a goddess and the face of an angel." Sirius covered smoothly.

"And what am I? Only lovely compared to her?" Lily asked. For a moment both Remus and Sirius were surprised by her abrupt change in mood, but Sirius quickly recovered. 

"Sorry Lils. You're only lovely compared to my beauty over here!" And he winked. Lily stuck her tongue out in response.

"Oh Lils! I think we could put that tongue to better use!" A very low voice whispered into her ear quietly enough so that no one else could hear. Two strong arms wrapped around her from behind, and the voice chuckled as she blushed.

"Morning James."

"Morning Lily. Sleep well?" He asked, resting his chin atop her head. She leaned back into him, savoring his warmth.

"Yeah." She told him.

"Good." He smiled and pulled away. She looked up at his face and couldn't help but smile. He laughed and sat down beside her.

"Wow. You two are in good moods this morning." Remus noted rather dimly.

"Yeah. I'm trying to be optimistic." Lily explained. Ara and James nodded, then they went through the painstaking effort of telling Sirius and Remus what had happened to her parents. Lily and James, for some unspoken, mutual agreement, left out the part where they had discussed love- specifically their love for each other. After breakfast was over, James and Lily split from the rest of their friends and took a walk out towards Hagrid's. 

"Lils? Everything alright?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

"Hey James?"

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you mention that we were…you know."

"I was going to ask you the same question. Why didn't you?"

"I don't know."

"Neither do I. I just felt like it was our special secret, our special relationship."

"I agree." Lily nodded. James put his arm around her and she laid her head against his shoulder. "I like the thought of it being just our special secret."

"Then we're secretly in love." James laughed. Lily joined him. "But Lil?"

"Hmm?"

"Want to tell Hagrid?" She smiled.

"Let's." When they finally reached Hagrid's, rain had started and they were running to get inside. Hagrid met them at the door, laughing at their rush to get out of the rain.

"Ain't no problem with getting a little wet now and then you two!" He laughed. As they unwrapped their warm coats he handed them hot cups of tea and settled into his chair by the fire. James sat in the armchair opposite him, and then Lily plopped down in his lap. James smirked and pulled her in closer.

"You're a dangerous little girl, aren't you?" He mocked.

"I'm not a little girl." She huffed. He laughed and pecked her. She smiled.

"What's this now?" Hagrid's eyebrows went up. "When did all of this start? Lily Evans and James Potter?"

"Hagrid, I actually have some sad news first." Lily's grin became a frown and James squeezed her hand. "Last night, the owl?"

"Ah yes! That was to you?" His eyes narrowed. "Lily, Voldemort…"

"You know?" She asked loudly.

"The only owls that come at night are owls with news of death Lily. And since your parents were muggle, I doubt if they had died the normal muggle way you would have found out via owl. I assumed." Hagrid explained. "I'm sorry Lily."

"Me too." She sniffed. A few tears fell. Hagrid and James exchanged sympathetic glances, and James held Lily closer. "But I'm trying to be optimistic." She finally said.

"And she's doing a good job." James added.

"I'm glad Lily. Remember I'm here if you need me." Hagrid gave her a supportive smile. 

"Thanks Hagrid. I'm fine. Really. It'll take a while, but I'll be good as new in no time." She smiled through watery eyes.

"And besides. You've got James to make you happy." Hagrid added slyly. James laughed wickedly with Hagrid and Lily blushed.

"Hagrid, you can't tell anyone." She told him. "We've decided to keep it secret."

"We only wanted you to know." James added.

"Why me?" Hagrid asked confused.

"Because you were our unofficial matchmaker!" Lily told him in a lighter voice. All three of them laughed slightly at that, but the words were more or less true. Hagrid had really introduced them, had truly made them get to know each other, had coached them in what the other was thinking. It was mostly his efforts that had lead them to being friends.

"Well Hagrid, we need to get going. The rain is letting up and we have a class soon." James told the giant man. Hagrid rubbed his bushy beard.

"Alright then James. You and Lily run along. Can't be responsible for keeping the two greatest students Hogwarts has ever seen from class, now can I?" They laughed again, then left.

)(

It had been eight weeks since everything had finally come into place. Lily and James were blissfully happy in their relationship, while their friends were blissfully ignorant of the entire thing. Over the last two and a half months Lily and James had grown closer than they had ever thought possible. Sometimes they swore they could even read each other's minds. But they always ended up laughing that off.

They were only one night from their Hogwarts graduation, and the Marauders and company were seated in their classic places in the Gryffindor common room discussing their futures.

"…So I've decided I'm going to become an auror with Jamesie boy here." Sirius was reasoning out.

"Si, sweetheart, being an auror is hard work." Ara held in her laughter.

"I know."

"Si? You haven't been in any advanced DADA classes. Aren't you a little worried you won't know _what_ to do when you come face to face with a Death Eater?"

"Nope! Because I'll have Jamesie on my back!" Sirius grinned doggishly.

"Great. Not only do I have to watch out for my horns, but _your_ tail!" James growled. A general chuckle went up through the group. 

"Uh, James? You don't have horns." Ara laughed. The others, though they felt guilty Ara didn't know the whole secret, just laughed harder because of her ignorance. 

"Well, anyway." Remus cleared up the subject. "Si, did you get a letter?"

"Letter?" Sirius asked confused.

"Sure." James took it from there. "I got a letter from the DADA department at the Ministry. They requested me for auror work."

"I didn't get one of those. But I'm sure once they see how scheming my mind is, they'll realize they need me- for planning and plotting attacks to catch and humiliate the Death Eaters you'll understand!" They laughed again. 

"Remus, what will you be doing?" Ara asked.

"I've been asked by the Ministry to do some field research on vampires actually. I know it sounds like dangerous work, but I'm ready for a little action. Can't let James and Si have all the fun, now can I?" He joked. They all chuckled. "And you Ara?"

"I'm actually going to be staying here. Did you hear that the Madam Pomfrey was looking for an intern? I'm taking that job. I've always been interested in medical magic."

"Ara! You didn't tell me you were accepted! Congratulations!" Lily spoke up.

"Lady Lily, what will you be doing?" James asked, his eyes piercing hers. She blushed. Her friends attributed the blushing to the nickname, but she was blushing because of James' eyes, and he knew it.

"I'm not sure yet. I was offered a position as an auror too… but I also got offered a position in the muggle studies department, and muggles are my first passion…"

"Well, whatever you do Lily, I'm sure you'll be great at it!" Ara grinned. Then she yawned. "I'm tired. Time for bed!"

"I'm with you honey!" Sirius got up and stretched.

"I'm going too." Remus added. "James? You should get some sleep; you have to give that grad speech tomorrow. I still can't believe our class chose you, but you know what they say… bad taste spreads…" James elbowed him, but grinned. 

"I'll be up in a few."

"Me too." Lily added.

"See you two in the morning then!" Their friends bade them goodnight.

"Lils, I thought I was your first passion." James pouted when he was sure their friends were out of earshot.

"I'm sorry Jamesie!" She laughed. He grabbed her and pulled her into a hug.

"I love you Lils. You know that, right?" She looked into his eyes and saw a desperation. And she loved that he loved her so much.

"I know. And I love you James." She replied, choking up. It still brought her close to tears to think of the love they shared for each other. She looked up and her lips met his in desperate need. After they had exhausted themselves, they broke apart, savoring each other's taste, warmth, and love. 

"I'll see you tomorrow James."

"Night Lovely Lady Lily." She blushed, but said nothing as she went to bed.

)(

The entire Great Hall was packed with parents and siblings of the Hogwarts graduating class. They were milling about, talking, laughing, and congratulating each other on their children's achievements. There were a few Slytherin parents gathered into one corner being antisocial with the rest of the crowd, but for the most part, everyone was pleasant to one another.

The students, dressed in clean robes and their tradition Hogwarts house colors, were lined up. First the Hufflepuffs would file in, then the Ravenclaws, next the Slytherins, and finally the Gryffindors. After they were sitting, Dumbledore would give his welcoming speech, then they would be presented with their Wizarding and Witching licenses by Professor McGonagall, and finally James would speak. It was quite an elaborate event, one that the students had been looking forward to for seven long but amazing years.

"Attention. Will everyone please find a seat? We are about to begin." Professor McGonagall announced. There was a mad scrambled, but within moments everyone was seated and ready for the ceremony to begin. Silently the Hufflepuffs began walking in. When everyone was sitting, Dumbledore stood at the front of the Great Hall and began.

James droned everything else out. All he could think of was his speech. Was he ready? Did he know what he was doing? He hoped so. He hoped everything would go just as he had practiced. He hoped he was making a good speech that it would last in the student's memories for a lifetime. 

Lily was nervous. She wanted to hear what James had to say, naturally, but she knew something was going on. She heard Sirius' name called. James was not normally scared of speeches- in fact; talking was one of his favorite things to do. She heard Arabella's name called. But he was nervous for this, and his nervousness was rubbing off onto her. Just then she heard her name called.

"Lily Evans." She stood and walked towards McGonagall. After receiving her license, she waited for her other friends to be called. She saw Remus go up, then Peter, and finally James. James did not come back and sit beside her again. He had purposely been called last so he could just go from accepting his license to making his speech. Lily sat, ready to listen to his words.

"And now, our student selected speaker, Mr. James Potter." McGonagall introduced him. James stepped up.

"Hey everyone. My name is James Potter, and for those of you who don't know, I'm tied with my best friend Sirius Black for the number of most Hogwarts detentions." He smiled when he got a few laughs and gained confidence. "I'm also part of the Marauders, the resident hellions here at Hogwarts. In addition to mischief making, I'm the captain and seeker of the Gryffindor quidditch team, as well as the second ranked student in the school. But all of that is not the reason I was selected to make a speech.

" I was picked because everyone thought I would be funny. Well, I'd like to be funny. But life isn't always funny. Sometimes in our lives we won't have the luxury of laughing. We'll be bogged down with boring work, or broken hearted over the loss of a loved one." He took a deep breath. 

"A friend once told me that I hide behind humor when I want to avoid a problem. But, when we don't have laughter to fall back on, we have other places to look for strength. Like the friends who tell us when we aren't facing our problems. Our friends are going to be there because that's what they're our friends for. And when we don't have friends, we have family. Families to support us, to depend upon. And when we can't go to our friends or family, we can run to our girlfriends or boyfriends. 

"It's funny. In all my years here at Hogwarts, I've never dated. Don't get me wrong; it's not that I haven't wanted to. I was just waiting for the right girl. You see, a significant other is someone whom you love unconditionally. Someone who can be trusted. Someone who you can fall back on when you need someone to make you laugh. Remember how I said I didn't date my seven years here at Hogwarts? I lied.

"For the last three months I've been dating a wonderful woman. She's beautiful, I'd even go so far as to say sexy, though I know she's blushing, so I won't," he paused and grinned. Lily was going to murder him. Love him, but murder him. He continued. "She's also smart, sweet, compassionate, and she makes me laugh. And I know she's going to keep making me laugh long after Hogwarts, even when I don't have the luxury of laughing.

"I suppose where I'm going with this whole laughing thing is this: As we leave Hogwarts and start out on a new path in our lives, we need to laugh as much as we can as long as we can whenever we can, because the day will come too soon when you can't laugh. Our world is full of danger and evil, but when that day does come that we've forgotten to laugh, don't despair! Your friends, family, and loved ones will be there to make you remember how to laugh again." He finished his speech with a grin, and while the applause was going on, he bowed his head. When they finished clapping, he looked up again.

"I guess my speech is over now, so I have one last thing to say. See, I love to laugh. I do it all the time. In fact, it's probably the reason I have the tied record for the most number of detentions, because I had to pull the pranks to make myself laugh." People laughed again. "Anyway." James grinned rakishly. "There is one woman in here that makes me laugh no matter how I'm feeling. And what with my addiction to laughing, I'd like to ask that she never leave my side. So in light of that request, I would ask this now: Lovely Lady Lily. Will you marry me and make me laugh the rest of my life? After all, you did catch that bouquet, and I _did_ catch that garter, it's kind of bound to happen eventually!" He laughed nervously, but inside James' heart stopped as he asked the question. He heard the crowd roar with a buzz and Hagrid's booming voice rose above them all.

"Silence! Let's hear what the girl has to say!" People agreed and settled down, waiting to hear the answer.

Lily had been hanging on to every word James had said since the beginning of his speech and continuously growing redder as he continued. First he had quoted her. Then he had had told everyone he had been dating. Then he had called her sexy… and accused her of blushing, and then he had gone on to describe her… and… now… he was… asking her to _marry_ him? Because he loved her and she made him laugh. Because she made him laugh… And Lily broke down, tears streaming down her face. Beside her she felt Arabella prodding her, a shocked and excited look on her face.

"Well Lils?" Ara asked in wonderment.

"Ara…" Lily whispered. Then she stopped. Time to stop hiding. She wasn't a freak. She was a woman who was smart and pretty. She had friends and she was in love. And if anyone tried to make her think otherwise, they could get lost, because she would no longer listen to them. Shaking her head clear, she wiped away the tears and stood up in the middle of the ceremony.

"Yes!" She called out, smiling broadly.

"Really Lils?" James asked in wonderment. She was standing up and telling him yes… whatever he had expected, it hadn't been this wonderful.

"Really James!" She laughed and nodded.

"I'm best man!" Sirius jumped up. The crowd burst into applause and laughter. Lily and Sirius sat down and James nodded politely to Dumbledore, who was laughing, and to McGonagall, who seemed torn between crying, laughing, and mad. James made it back to his seat, and when he did, he looked deep into Lily's shimmering emerald eyes. Brushing back her soft red hair, he leaned in and kissed her softly and sweetly.

"Love you Lily."

"Love you too James."

"Hey James?"

"Yes Lady Lily?"

"You sure you want to stick around? I have a pretty complicated life."

"I'd much rather think of it as our complicated lives." And they laughed and kissed one more time. *

THE END

~~~So there you go! C'est fini! How was it? I hope it was good enough. I know I'm not a very good writer, but I tried! Now the real question: Would you all like a sequel that tracked Lily and James until Harry? PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you thought! This is your LAST CHANCE (another story I've written is called Last Chances… check it out!) Much love- Vixen~~~


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